If you recall, Suzy had settled on one longterm play partner, and she was feeling comfortable enough with him to envision a cuckolding fantasy where I would watch them have intercourse (round 1) and then I would reclaim her (round 2) while he was in his refractory period, followed by a second coupling with him (round 3). She would then dismiss me and they would have their first "sleepover". That was her fantasy, and it seemed like it would happen since all parties were on board with it. But alas, it never happened.
Suzy mentioned several reasons for it and while I have a solid idea on a lot of them, I won't go into all of them. Suffice it to say, a big reason is that her playmates were unreliable. We gave the cuckolding lifestyle the college try and we found that just as it was ego-boosting for her to be sexually sought after by other men, it was equally ego-bruising to have flaky playmates - especially when "Friend #6" seemed to be the long-term "boyfriend" that she wanted.
It turns out Suzy had a good opportunity to reconnect with "Friend #6" but he flaked out again and Suzy wasn't buying his excuses. Such is life, but I will say this seems to be a common problem for cuckold couples.
My feelings on this? Well, I must reiterate our cuckolding rules from the very beginning: that we both have veto power. She has vetoed this lifestyle, and I respect that choice.
Secondly, no regrets on my part. A surprising thing about this cuckold experiment is that I never developed feelings of jealousy. When she had a playdate - especially with a new guy - I did feel "cuckold angst" but that was mainly around her safety and wanting her to have a good time. And a strong desire to hear about what they did, and to reclaim her. I did have some angst about all the sexting she'd do, but when I understood that the pursuing, the flirting was a big part of what appealed to her, I become OK with it. I gotta be honest here, knowing my wife has caused other men to be sexually excited, to get hard and to ejaculate never got old. Even married men uninterested in hotwifing would be proud to know that their wife turns other men on! I happen to have proof!
Thirdly, I'm grateful for her for trying, for indulging in my kinks, and for doing this "for me" (LOL?). I'm proud of her.
Lastly, in my minds eye, my kink around her cuckolding me need not go away entirely:
- Her "hall pass" is still valid (e.g., I have not vetoed her having sex with other men). If she randomly sees a guy that she wants to play with, she has my permission - whether that be the local cougar lounge, a swinger event, or one of her prior playmates. I still DO need to hear about it, that has not changed.
- I would prefer to not sweep this under the rug. We both enjoyed this experiment (perhaps me more than her?) and if nothing else, would enjoy being reminded of her escapades from time to time (not going to lie, when I am going down on her, the fact that she has had six other cocks enter where I'm licking definitely does cross my mind!)
- To be clear, I'm not pressuring her in any way, I'm just saying that I'm essentially reverting back to being a wannabe cuckold again, which can offer a plethora of opportunities for sexy teasing and dirty talk. I'd welcome her talking to me about her thoughts of uncircumcised cocks, what it was like to be in bed with younger studs that were turned on by her MILF-ness, teasing me that she's had more sex partners, comparing her lovers' attributes, etc. There are of course lots of opportunities for cuckold role playing, and I'm game for that. I hope she's ok with that, instead of quitting "cold turkey".
- And - perhaps at this point stating the obvious - if our life circumstances change (e.g., when we become empty nesters) - it may make sense for us to revisit this as a couple. Maybe she just needs to find the right lover...