Sunday, November 13, 2016

Marital Communication, Part 1

After 20+ years of marriage, I can honestly say that we have the very best communication that we've ever had.  But it hasn't always been that way, and there are times when I think I am the one that is having difficulty communicating.

Let me back this up.  I have always been an experimental type.  I'm the kind of person that gets annoyed that I only have three routes to go to work.  I like trying new things, new foods, new just about everything.  I rarely follow recipes (which means I don't bake!).

Even if you don't like something new, try it again, just to be sure you don't like it.  I was driving to work and I had a sip of my coffee and it tasted terribly soapy.  It was awful.  But I tasted it again, to prove to myself that it was in fact soap.  And probably a third or fourth time.  I convinced myself that the mug had not been fully rinsed.

I've always thought of myself as sexually "kinky".  When we were married, one of Suzy's friends got us a restraint set, intended as a joke - a gag gift.  I of course wanted to use that restraint with my bride.  For many years, we didn't do a lot of kinky stuff.  Suzy wasn't comfortable with it, and there are some things that she's still not comfortable with.

The most common sexual advice I've seen is to communicate your desires to your partner.  As I book I'm reading states, "love makes requests, not demands": I like it when you xzy... I like to do abc to you.  The general idea being that a partner may not know what you like and generally speaking will want to please the one they love but may not know how to.  Does that make sense?  So, I've been pretty vocal about that.  Just recently, I told Suzy that I missed being dominated by her.  Then she told me something that hit me like a ton of bricks: why don't you tell me what you want to do to me?  That gets her excited.  So, I'm going to work that level of communication into our bag of tricks.

We had a date-night of sorts last night, after a couple of days apart due to business travel.  It was as if we couldn't talk to each other fast enough, we wanted to catch up.  But it felt like love.  And I did miss her terribly, it's hard to communicate in a different time zone.

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Alas, we got to bed fairly early last night "to cuddle".  I was so horny.  I told her that I wanted to masturbate on my trip, and she seemed pleased that I didn't.  It turns out, she masturbated twice, which made me very excited.  Suzy is on her period.  She can orgasm quite nicely, but it requires a lot of pressure with the Hitachi.  So, I put the vibe in its proper place, and sandwiched it with our bodies, being careful not to have any stimulation on my own genitals.  She loved the pressure, and her clit was very well satisfied.  I took my shorts off and she stroked me, played with my chest, and balls, and she fell asleep with her hands on my genitals.  I felt loved.

1 comment:

  1. I think as we age we realize the value in communication. More importantly to actually listen. As we do the value of the words exchanged automatically have more importance. More value. When we are young we're still figuring things out. Learning what we like and don't like, etc. It's a journey of becoming. Middle age comes around and by then we have a good grasp on who we are, what we like, want and need. If we are fortunate enough to be in a safe and loving relationship, we can then communicate these things with our partner and enjoy an exponentially expanding companionship.

    Through my thirties I was not as able to be as open about my intimate desires as I was in my forties and now fifties. There are various reasons for this, society norms, expoloring different things, building a family and working like a dog, etc etc. Once I made it a priority to communicate and not hold back I have found my submissive persona accepted and embraced. Communication is key. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

    Feeling her hold your balls while falling asleep after a wonderful orgasm for her is fantastic, yes. Especially if you haven't cum and can wallow in subspace as you fall asleep. Happiness all the way around for sure!