Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Responses to "Anon" Questions - His Answers

As I've whined about before, I have a hard time with responding to comments in blogger when I am logged in.  So, it's better that I respond in post-format.  His questions are mainly about cuckolding, which hasn't happened much lately.  My Queen is aware I posted recently (she asked me to summarize during our last play session) as well as the comment from "anon" and I discussed over a rare breakfast together that it would be nice if she "guest blogs" to get her perspective.  Not sure if she will or not, but I can hope...

I have been wondering a bit how your wife feels about, has changed, thought processes etc since you started your journey?

I'm thinking about things like:
1. Is your wife more selfish now in bed or in general? 
I wouldn't consider it "selfish".  We are both on board with sex being primarily about her.  It turns me on, and I think she enjoys it too.  I think I am better at avoiding "topping from the bottom", which had been an issue when we first explored femdom.  I prefer long drawn out sessions with lots of teasing, perhaps multiple female orgasms, but it's not our reality right now.  We are a busy couple and sometimes we simply are too tired to play, sometimes I can convince her for a quick vibrator induced orgasm, and rarely we have had sessions when we are home alone that are easily more than an hour.  I don't think this extends into our outside bedroom life at all.  She's a very loving, giving kind soul.

2. Does your "play" extend into your "other" life as well because of your wife?
I'm not sure I really understand this question.  If you mean outside the bedroom, not really.  She will occasionally poke me in the ass in the kitchen, pinch my nipples, and slap my balls discretely if we have a moment of privacy.  We are a very "normal" soccer mom couple and I think most folks would be surprised that we are as kinky as we are.  Our child(ren) are a little sickened at how lovey-dovey we are.  I'm actually a bit proud of that fact, that we are modeling a loving relationship.

3. Does your wife initiate you giving her an orgasm more often now? Is it because she doesn't have to recipriate?
Generally speaking, my wife wants me to initiate sex.  I described a recent session where she woke me up and we had intercourse.  I enjoy her initiating sex a lot, but that doesn't happen that often.  During foreplay, she sometimes says things like, "OK, I want my orgasm now", which is pretty exciting for me.  I do think she's more open to sex because she is not obligated to "deal" with my orgasm.  She likes that the focus is on her.  I am interested in her thoughts on this.

4. How does your wife see you now compared to before?
I've asked her this, and she says she doesn't see me any differently.  Part of me wants to think I'm a candidate for husband of the year, but I am not sure she'd go that far....

5. How has your wife changed since your cuckolds started?
She seems more sensual, more sexual to me.  I believe we communicate better.  She has a different frame of reference.  Being somewhat submissive in the bedroom, I typically ask her if I can do xyz.  She made it clear just the other day that she enjoys that her "friend" is more assertive sexually and wants me to do that too.  Something we will be exploring soon... 

One thing that took me a while to get my head around is that she has made it clear that he is a very good kisser (and, I presume better than me).  It does make me feel a little "funny", but I want her to be honest with me.

6. How does your wife look upon the cuckolds and the inequality that brings?
My wife is NOT on board with me having sex with another woman, and we clearly have enjoyed our initial foray into cuckolding/hotwifing.  I like to be teased about the inequality.  For me, it's a big part of the excitement of cuckolding.  We had a rare moment the other morning and she told me that a) she masturbated; b) she shaved her pussy "for him".  My underwear was quite wet with pre-come by the time I got to work.

7. Is your wife happier now?
This seems like a pretty broad question for her, interested in her response.  If you mean with respect to our relationship, we've had ups and downs like any couple, but right now we are in a huge up.  Sexually, she is quite satisfied.  As a long time observer of her climaxes, I can tell you that her orgasms have never been stronger.  If you mean with respect to cuckolding, I'm not sure I can answer that.  I think it took her a long time to get her arms around that I'm OK with her having sex with another male.    

8. What does your wife want to happen/explore/test in the future?
She definitely wants to have sex with him again.  They've had a lot of "near misses".  She wants him to orgasm with her (he basically claims that he can't come with a condom.  WTF) and she wants to have sex somewhere besides a car.

Assuming they do have sex again, I would like to be locked up.  Idea of her having sex and me being physically unable to is really hot "inequality" dynamic for me.

I would like her to try a younger guy that is OK with playing with me there.  A big turnon is for me to find her "suitor" for her.  I have looked, and there are males out there that I believe would work.  So many things we could do....

She gave me hope once by saying, "we should go to a cuckold party where I can have sex and you can't".  Made me very hot thinking of that.  Then she said, "stop trying to pimp me out" - and so I dropped that idea.
How do you see yourself in the regards of the above?

Bear in mind that we are very new to this.  She's had sex twice with him.  I have told her that the actual cuckolding was more exciting than the fantasy.  We are having a lot of fun with this...

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Exposed and Aroused (CFNM)

Clothed Female, Naked Male has long been one of my top fetishes.  The feeling of vulnerability I get being fully nude, fully exposed to my wife is an adrenalin rush.  As I told her once, if God wanted us to wear clothes, we would have been born wearing them.  LOL

I like the feeling of being "inspected" by her.  When we were first married, during handjobs, my wife would typically tell me, "your balls are creeping up, so you are about to come".  I always found that to be super hot.  First, I didn't know my balls creeped up prior to ejaculation.  Second, it turned me on that my wife was watching my sexual response (which, years later she exploited during our experimentation with "edging" me and ruining my orgasms).  Third, I loved how she verbalized it to me, like a play-by-play of my orgasm.  I like feeling like a piece of meat, especially due to the reflexive nature of sex - I can't consciously "make" myself erect or orgasm - it's purely instinctual and out of my control.

A couple of sidebars about nudity

  • I've never been all that thrilled about being naked in front of other men.  Changing in locker rooms, its hard to avoid seeing other males that are....err... more blessed than I am.  Prostate exams by my male doctor are certainly not sexy (damn the last one I got hurt like hell - he went skimpy on the lube!).  If we ever do have a threesome, I am curious to know what it feels like to see and be seen in an erect state.  No idea.  Part of me thinks I will have a hard time getting it up.
  • Being partially nude in front of others.  I don't really get aroused by going to the beach, I guess because it's expected to have minimal clothing, so everybody does.  In fact, socially acceptable men's beachwear is not very exposing at all, and certainly women's beachwear is much more so.
  • The weather has changed a bit, and in the mornings it's a little cold.  I usually sleep with just some athletic shorts, shirtless.  When I am getting up in the morning, I'm usually horny (I understand that testosterone levels peak in the morning - gosh I wish we could play before work!) and also because of the cold, my nipples are fully erect.  Usually at this point the only one I will see in this state is my wife, who will be fully dressed by this time.  She is usually scrambling around at this point, so there's not a lot of sexy time, but I do like her seeing me with my nipples erect and usually a partial erection from the "morning wood".

So I conclude that it's the power imbalance and the baring of my deepest desires (my reflexive erection for her) that turns me on.

Last weekend, my wife climaxed so I cuddled her until she quickly fell asleep, no orgasm for me.  I couldn't sleep cause I was so turned on.  I was nude and simply walked downstairs to get some water, do a little phoning, and take a sleeping pill.  She'd probably not like that I was nude, for the chance of being "seen" by someone else living at our house.  But it was so late, that the risk was really low.  But I wanted to explain how much it turned me on to be still partially aroused by our sex play and the excitement I get from being naked, from being horny but resisting the temptation to jerk off.

I've told her before, that once we are empty nesters, I'm not wearing clothes inside the house again.

*  *  *  *  *
I realize this is a long post.  Just to catch up, wife denied my orgasm last weekend, during the week she woke me up for some really freaking hot sex (damn, she played with my ass, which felt GREAT), and she denied me last night.  She was "tired" and didn't really want to play last night but I was so horny I persisted with foreplay and you could tell she was aroused.  I realized this was going to be a quickie, so I wanted to do the Hitachi/fingering combo.  She didn't want that, she just wanted an orgasm then sleep.  There was my sexy wife, fully clothed, me fully nude and erect, hovering the vibrator over her pleasure nub, while she grabbed my hard cock and balls during her rather spectacular orgasm.  It was spectacular.  As she said, her orgasm satisfied the both of us.  Hoping for some more extended play tonight, when she is well rested.  Anal play sounds great right now (strapon perhaps?).  Cock and ball torture?  Playing with toys we haven't used in a while?  Spanking?  So many horny thoughts going through my mind right now.  Sex is fun :-)

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Talking about her orgasm, being silent on his denial

We have missed playtimes this week, because work has been stressful for both of us.  She either stays up very late one night or crashes early the next.

She's also on her period.  I am keenly aware of her menstrual cycle (it's tracked on my "orgasm tracker" page).  If it appears that I obsess over this on my blog, it's that she has always been VERY guarded about it and it definitely does affect our sex life, I would even say our relationship.  She has fairly long periods, 6-7 days (I googled and average seems to be ~4).  That ultimately represents ~20% of the time.  She will usually only say things like, "oh, I hate my period", or "shit, I hate heavy flow days".  I view this as a part of human sexuality. It may not be pleasant (I cannot relate at all) but it's a factor we have to deal with in our relationship.

Well, we played Thursday night.  She basically interrupted me when I was giving her foreplay, along the lines of "you know I'm on my period, right?".  Yes, my Queen, I am keenly aware.  If you weren't my head would be between your legs (OMG, I crave eating her out right now!)!

The fact of the matter is, she comes nicely with the Hitachi through her pad.  I have read, and believe I have anecdotal evidence myself, that the discomfort of a period - and even it's duration - is lessened through orgasm.  I'd like to do an experiment that she comes each and every day just to collect some scientific evidence for that.

In any case, I completed my foreplay while I was fully nude and she was fully clothed (ah, my CFNM fetish!).  She felt my erection against her during the kissing phase, and made some comment about it (the backstory is that just before her period started, the last time we had played, she deliberately denied me penetration by saying, "you will just have to deal with another week without my pussy".  I LOVE this woman!).  I asked her if it was time for her orgasm, and she said yes.  I got the Hitachi out and put it on full power and placed it over her clit.  She matter-of-factly said, "move it a little to my left" and when I did, the sensations overpowered her, it was like a "pleasure jolt".  It was obvious her orgasm would come soon.  She said she wanted "to hold onto something" and I moved so she had access to my genitals.  She grabbed my balls, and squeezed then quite tightly.  During her orgasm, the pain was intense, but I just "took it like a man".  She made a comment that I didn't moan and I told her I didn't want to interrupt her orgasm.

I had produced a significant amount of pre-come, which she "complained" about.  I got something to wipe it off my cock with, and she was like, "hey, I need to clean it off my hand".  Sometimes I can be thick.  In any case, we simply went to bed together, and there was no mention of an orgasm for me.

Silly husband, sex is for the wife's pleasure.