Sunday, June 21, 2015

"Freedom for me, Captivity for you! I like that!"

I looked through "cuckolding" tag on my blog, and it appears I've been actively discussing this fantasy for at least 3 years.  I distinctly remember an early conversation we had around it (it was at LL's favorite restaurant, Suzy).  She had a hard time wrapping her head around it.  Suzy was clear from the outset of our dating that cheating on her was an automatic, no questions asked, end to the relationship.  So, me being OK with her "playing" with another man, even encouraging it, was something totally foreign to her.

We dipped our toes in the waters.  Suzy created a Craigslist ad.  There were three "suitors" that she pursued.  Guy #1 chickened out on the way to our meeting him.  Guy #2 was very interested, had the advantage that he didn't know a lot of people in the area (helpful for privacy reasons) but he also chickened out at the last minute.  Suzy had been sexting with him and seemed very excited and she was pretty upset about that one.  We actually met Guy #3 for drinks, but he was a no-go from the get-go.

I guess we kinda gave up on the idea.  My fantasies of her being a "hotwife" certainly never went away.  While we were hunting for a playmate, Suzy seemed very interested, but I think that she was put off by the difficulty in finding a suitable playmate.  She would occasionally tease me about it, and I would say the closest we ever came to this was her going out of her way to tell me she thought a guy was "hot" (she sometimes seemed so excited about a stud that she was uncomfortable - kept staring at him, seemed nervous, etc.), and the time that I used a dildo on her with the Hitachi, and literally seeing a phallus "fuck" her (wow, that was very hot to watch her pussy lips move to accommodate the "cock"!).

There is a bit of a backstory to this, but I'm not sure that it is worth going into ("it's complicated", as they say).  Suffice it to say that Suzy had become close to a male that I will describe as a "coworker".  I could tell that they were texting A LOT.  During an argument, she mentioned that she "was thinking" about having an affair.  I had very mixed feelings around this.  Was she just saying that?  Why would she have an affair when I told her that she can have sex as long as she is open to me about it?  But I also found myself turned on by this.  

After stewing on this for a while, I asked her if she had had an affair.  She said no, but someone had approached her about it.  It was "on the table" so to speak.  We had some issues to work through, but to be honest, I was still very turned on by this.  My wife is obviously married.  This guy was obviously pursuing a married woman.

I think it would take a few posts to explain WHY this turns me on.  But in light of these events, my prevailing thought was: a) Suzy's self esteem seems awfully high (and really, what's wrong with that?); b) I found my self esteem to be improving (yes, I do have a HOT WIFE that someone other than me lusts after.

So after we cleared up the issue around her having an affair.... Suzy brings up the hotwifing/cuckolding thing to me.  Instant boner!  She said, "would you really be ok with me playing with another man?"  I was pretty shocked.  I said that yes I am.

As this post is no running long, I will end it there.  We have talked a lot about this.  We have some ground rules, and she actually does have a date set to meet with him.  And it's soon!

*  *  *  *  *

One last word: Suzy did say something along the lines of this post's title.  She was giddy about this crazy double standard that turns me on so much: that I remain monogamous to her, but she can play.  I think she might have said "prison" or something like that, but I didn't want to confuse my readers, since she was not (in that moment) referring to me being locked in chastity, but rather the "double standard".  

Things are getting VERY interesting!

I described how Suzy denied me in my last blog post, and she suggested not letting me have release until Father's Day.

Since then, we have had two sessions and no release for me.  I fingered her to orgasm one session and performed cunnilingus on her last night.  Both of her orgasms were spectacular.  I haven't been real great at keeping up with the orgasm tracker, but since her period was over a week or two ago, we had intercourse once where we both climaxed and then three straight sessions where she climaxed but I did not.  She "edged" me last night after I was done "dining at the Y" and she said that it wasn't time for me yet.

Well, a fair amount has been happening around a long held fantasy of mine.  I am actually still processing some of what's happened, but it's all VERY good, and we are both enjoying ourselves.

To set some sort of context, though, I should clear the air out a bit.

I started blogging in order to process my own fantasies, but more importantly as a communication mechanism for Suzy.  I think it served its purpose for a while.

Long story short, my blogging got to be a source of friction.  She told me to stop.  I did for some time, and you can see a several month gap in my post history.

HOWEVER, we still were enjoying femdom sex play during this time.  She still seemed turned on by asking, "when was your last orgasm" in a teasing way (believe me, this turned me on a lot too!).  So, the only place where it seemed reasonable to keep track was in this blog.  So, I did.

In the mean time, I would check out some fellow bloggers and enjoyed the "camaraderie" of other femdom couples.

I broke the silence and began rattling off a few posts - because I was so excited at what we were doing in our sex lives that I wanted to document it.  I enjoy getting feedback from others.  I enjoy writing about our sex life.  Suzy saw that I had still been posting and didn't seem super happy about it.

Up until the very recent past, we struggled with communication.  Things shifted a lot on that front, and when I have time, I will set that up.

Please stay tuned... things are about to get really interesting in our bedroom!  If you read this Suzy, I love you so much!  I wouldn't want to go on this journey with anyone else!  LOVE!


Thursday, June 18, 2015

Access Denied

We've both had hot and heavy issues at work, so our bedroom has not been hot and heavy.  But we both had some milestones completed, so we had some time to play last night.  Suzy was being very flirty with me, so I figured we would play.

I haven't done a great job of keeping up with my orgasm tracker.  She gave me an incredible CBT handjob that resulted in a fantastic (and very messy) orgasm for me during her period.  She has done this before, where she edged me and then increases the pain applied to my balls to the point where I really want to come just to avoid the pain applied down there.  If you are at all interested in CBT, I recommend you try this, as it is an intense experience for a masochistic sub male.  I really don't know how she stimulates my cock and tortures my balls at the same time with one hand.

After her monthly visitor left, she did allow penetration.  In fact, my Queen has been strongly preferring PIV (penis in vagina) sex to get off.  I think she would prefer me to hold off on orgasming, but I don't have the endurance, especially with the verbal teasing she does (the soft moans, and how she "demands" that my penetration be a certain speed... so hot when she tells me how to fuck her).  However, we have been pretty consistently coming at the same time, which is something she really does enjoy - it's a very intimate experience.  I guess when she starts to come, I get more and more excited and I thrust harder.  At that point, pretty much everything is involuntary - purely instinctual/animalistic.

So she was "in the mood" last night.  She was showing me some skin and I was nude giving her foreplay.  I love it when she assertively tells me, "I need an orgasm".  She did not want oral sex, she wanted to come right then.  I was rock hard and figured she wanted to come with me inside her again. She did not open her legs for me, which I figured meant I would be denied.

I scrambled for the Hitachi (it was twisted around something, and I knew I was "on the clock" to get her off) and I pulled her PJ bottoms down and fingered her pussy with the Hitachi on her clit.  I was a bit surprised how long it took her to come, but it was well worth it.  It sure seemed like it was one of the longest orgasms she'd had.  She LOVED my fingering, and said she had a wonderful climax.

I gave it a good try to get inside of her.  I was rock hard, her pussy was wet and ready for me, but she simply didn't want me to come.  Whether it was to avoid my post orgasm hangover, to show that she's in charge, or she simply was tired and wanted to go to bed or not deal with my mess... not really sure why.  But as a submissive male, I respect her decision and helped her put her PJs on, then dutifully cuddled her as she went to bed.

She implied that I wouldn't come until Father's day.  And since her workload has been lessened, it seems plausible that we will be playing more between now and then.  My guess is she will be having a lot of orgasms between now and Sunday.