Monday, December 29, 2014

Shaved pubic hair as an invitation for cunnilingus

Have not had a lot of time to blog, except got a chance today.  We haven't really played that much due to the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  Last session we had, my wife had shaved her pussy, and I was so excited that I went down on her immediately.  

Cunnilingus is probably my favorite sex act.  For me, it is a very intimate, loving act for a husband to perform on his wife.  I don't necessarily feel that "submissive" doing it*.  Before we were in a femdom relationship, I still enjoyed going down on her.  I like her taste, her scent, and hopefully the orgasm she  gets from my oral lovemaking.

She is not comfortable "telling" me what sex acts to perform.  I guess you can say that her shaving her pussy is as close as it comes to her guiding me to go down on her.  I have told her a million times that I love going down on her, and she sometimes refuses it.  My speculation is that she is not as clean down there as she would like, or that she doesn't feel like we have time for it and simply wants to come quickly with the Hitachi vibrator.  Going down on her is not a quick thing, it probably takes 5-15 minutes to result in an orgasm.  And it is not 100% guarantee that I can get her to orgasm orally, but the Hitachi vibrator has never failed.  I am a better cunnilinguist than I used to be, but certainly have room to improve.

It so happened that as I was going down on her, there was a piece of stubble that was in my chin.  I guess she missed a spot.  It was digging into my chin, and making me feel itchy.  She was well aroused and I couldn't exactly stop.  I overcame it, and she came nicely.  It was loving.  Almost every time after she comes, she tells me how great her orgasm was.  I consider myself to be a connoisseur of her orgasms.  They all seem very powerful, more powerful than my orgasms for sure.  When successful, her orgasms from my tongue are very intense.  

There are only two drawbacks: I can't figure out how to eat her out and penetrate her vaginally at the same time.  I am pretty sure that it would intensify her orgasm, if I could figure that out.  The angle/geometry and my inability to multi-task seem to be the main reason.  I have tried to do that with her on her knees and me underneath her, with limited success.  She seems to prefer being on her back when receiving oral sex.  Yes, I have fantasized a lot about having another male assist in this regard.  Perhaps, if the angle and geometry are right, I would attend to her clit orally while he penetrates her vaginally.  Something I would really like to try down the road.

The second is that she refuses to kiss me afterwards.  I usually rinse my mouth out right afterwords while she basks in her orgasm.  She will let me kiss her on her neck, but not on the mouth.  I wonder how common that is with women.

Anyway, after she calmed down from her orgasm, she let me penetrate her and I came inside her.  It was nice.  We typically get a little more "vanilla" around holidays/vacations, and I think this was an example of that.  She did text me the next day that her pussy was still oozing my semen.  I really like it when she tells me that.

* My wife no longer gives me blow jobs.  She never has liked to do it, and she had reluctantly given me a blowie for my birthday and our anniversary, and maybe Father's day.  But she really has gotten past that as an "obligation".  I really do not expect to ever receive another blowjob.  It is most definitely a double standard.  What I am trying to say is that I really enjoy pleasuring her this way, and she does NOT enjoy pleasuring me via oral reciprocation.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Craving domination ~ a lovesick puppy

We are having end of the year craziness and not having any time together.  I feel like a lovesick puppy.

I am feeling two things.  I absolutely crave being dominated by her.  I am 100% sub.  When she dominates me, I feel alive, accepted, and loved.  It isn't that my love for her is contingent on her being dominant with me, but it does enhance it in a way I can't fully explain.

I kept my kinky desires from her for many years.  I've always been a very sexual person with a high libido (polite way of saying I am always horny).  During the first 15 years of our marriage, she was never open to doing anything kinky.  I am so grateful that the past few years she is opened to it.  And she really does enjoy it.  She enjoys controlling my orgasms, ball torture, and her own climaxes.  She likes our sex play.

Female sexuality is amazing to me, I still can't figure it out.  I am a very analytical person.  I know that if I shake a martini, I am going to enjoy drinking it.  To me, this is a very straightforward antecedent -> reward situation.  Hearing the noise of the ice banging in the shaker makes me happy ~ I know I'm going to get something good.  I've never not enjoyed a martini.  Even a bad martini (say, too much or too little vermouth or no twist) is still REALLY good, and I enjoy.

Likewise, my wife REALLY enjoys her orgasms.  For reasons that aren't obvious to me, her climaxes have improved by orders of magnitudes.  It's hard to define if I am jealous or simply in awe of her sexuality.  My own orgasms, frankly, seem to be diminished.  Not sure why.

But my wife doesn't seem to have a clear antecedent (sex play with me) -> sexual/relationship fulfillment.  She doesn't say to herself, "if I play with my husband, it will draw us closer in intimacy and I will experience earth-shattering pleasure".  Even though that's a true statement (from both of our perspectives), she doesn't have that kind of motivation.  She gets caught up, lost in the worries of employment/family life.  In her words, she doesn't have time for that.

I would love to be at her beck and call, sexually.  To be "forced" to give her cunnilingus every night to "relax" her for the troubles of the next day.  It is my submissive fantasy to be her sex slave.

If we were to switch roles, and I were the dominant and she were submissive - and I could "demand" fellatio every night, and she enjoyed that act and submitting in that way, I would have no problem "requiring" a blowjob every night.  I love receiving a blowjob.  She hates giving me a blowjob.  It's just not in the cards.

So, what to make of this?  Perhaps it is the curse of having mis-matched libidos.  This seems to be pretty common with couples.  I do know that I love my bride more than ever and I want to be with her all the time.  It's not 100% sexual, not by a long-shot.  But exploring our fantasy life has definitely enhanced our intimacy together, no question about it.  And while vanilla sex is fun and better than no sex -- I really have no desires to go back to "vanilla".  I love her dominating me way too much.  I am a lovesick puppy for her.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Our unspoken "rules": longing for another sex ritual (please share yours)

It's been about a month since my wife told me to lock up in my CB-6000S.

I have a bit of a love/hate thing with being locked in the actual chastity device.  It happens just about every time.  I want to be locked up.  I get a lot of very tangible benefits from it.  But once she imposes it on me, I want out pretty much right away.  Why?  Mainly due to hygiene and various problems with being locked.

I DO NOT like being locked up at work.  I have a desk job and it gets uncomfortable to sit with the device all day.

I DO NOT like being locked in the gym.  While I have been getting pretty good at peeing, cleaning in the device is a royal pain.  Plus, I don't want to be "found out".

I could go into lots of reasons I like being locked up.  But top on the list is "attempting" to get an erection in the device.  She will often verbally tease me about this, which I love.

We don't have any formal "contract" with our sex life.  She would probably laugh at the idea.  We do have a couple of "understood" rules for sex.  They are sometimes broken, mainly by her.

The first rule is: she comes first.  I would say 90% of the time, my wife has the first orgasm.  After, she either will deny me or let me come  On occasion, she will be turned on by what she does to me and will have a second orgasm.  Sometimes she jerks me off and then falls asleep.

The second rule is: she needs some "downtime" after her orgasm.  She has chided me for trying to get in there too soon.  She does enjoy being stimulated all over her body, just not her pussy (although, she enjoys caresses on her outer pussy lips.

The third rule is: I ask permission to come.  It's an affirmation that she can say no.

I will note that even when she woke me up for sex the other night, I followed these unspoken rules.  I penetrated her, withdrew, then fingered her with the Hitachi on her clit, and she had an unusually long orgasm.  I played with her body, then asked if I could come inside her.  She said yes.

Now to the punchline.  I have been fantasizing about a chastity device ritual for the weekends.  I am expected to lock up on Friday evenings, before bed.  A ritual, just like brushing my teeth.  If she's in the room, she will snap the lock shut.  She normally falls asleep early on Friday nights, and we seldom play on Fridays.  She will expect that on Saturday morning, I will be safely locked in my cage, and with her having access to my key, can unlock me at any time during the weekend, or not.  She could make me suffer through the early part of the week.  But, having a "default" chastity ritual is something that appeals to me.

Do YOU have any sex rituals with your playmate?