Friday, October 31, 2014

Falling to the communists

It's the SEXIEST holiday of the year, and my wife has fallen to the communists.  Getting a visit from Aunt Flo.  Paying her monthly bill.  On the rag.  Or as we most commonly refer to it in our household, she is "out of commission".


The night before last, she went to bed really early.  Really early for her and said she wanted to "cuddle".  We did cuddle, but it made me super horny.  I guess I had a huge oxytocin build up and yesterday I was horny all day.  We did some sexting and she told me she was out of commission.  I thought it was about time, so it was not a surprise.  Then I thought, shit, why didn't we play that night?  She does tend to avoid sex play right before her period.  I guess I thought it was all about me, her wanting to intentionally deny sex play until the week that she will be on her period.  But then I thought that since she seems to do this every time, it might not be about me: rather, she just simply does not want to play just before her period.  Pre-menstrual syndrome if you will.

She had a really good night sleep Wednesday night, and I thought at least we could play with the vibrator and perhaps she could tease me or give me a handjob Thursday night.  nope.  She was up really late.  I can't stay up that late, so I took some sleeping pills and went to bed.  I have no recollection of her sleeping in our bed.  Sometimes she sleeps downstairs.  Maybe she pulled an all-nighter.

Given the nature of today (activities being very late) AND the fact that a child is having a friend over for a sleepover, this is NOT going to be a sexy day for us.

During our sexting, I asked her to wear her yoga pants.  When she is on her period, she generally likes to wear tighter pants that I find very sexy.  I know she has purchased yoga pants, but I do not know if she has ever worn them.  She did not give me a reply to that.

Alas, it appears tonight in the alcohol vs. sex quandary, I will have to go with alcohol, with a hope that she will be tired enough to at least let me hold the vibe against her pad and let her fall asleep.

I hope you have a sexier Halloween than what I foresee for me!


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Animalistic sex vs. "making love": how cunnilingus helps me get in touch with my feminine side

I have never been a big fan of the euphemism "making love".  From my masculine perspective, sex is more violent and messy than "making love"implies.  Men want sex, women want to make love.

I have to provide gentle and loving foreplay for her to get aroused and ready for sex.  I suppose that is the "making love" part.  But after she is wet, sex gets much rougher.  

If intercourse is in the cards, I will likely mount in the missionary position, which amounts to almost 200 pounds of flesh pinning her down.  She does not like me to be slow and gentle.  PiV intercourse is all about friction in the genitals, and more and more we are getting into her pinching my nipples hard during sex.  If I am allowed to come, there is a huge mess.  I have a mixture of our juices on my cock, and the scent of sex lasts until I shower (and sometimes after ~ I have felt her scent on my fingers even after washing my hands!).  For her, my semen stays inside her through the night and she often texts me that she is still oozing it out during the day.

If intercourse isn't in the cards, we often use the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator, which is a beast.  I can't take that stimulation in my genitals.  But it gets her off, and we have a routine where I finger a certain spot to maximize her pleasure.

If she gives me a handjob, she is quite rough with me, slapping or squeezing my balls.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all this.  The roughness, the mess, the pain, the animalistic nature of a coupling.

But let's consider cunnilingus.  I believe it is more "making love".  I am super excited that we are doing more of this.  I have not been the best at this throughout our marriage, but I feel like I am turning the corner.

Where did I fail before?  Well, I don't have a clitoris, and I don't intuitively know what she wants.  She historically gave me little feedback.  Sure, I read "She comes first", but I don't think I really "got" it until recently.  I have to go very slow at first.  This was always hard for me to understand.  I suppose I still can't believe that a woman wants me between her legs, and I get all excited and lose it.  I want her to come so bad.  I have had success caressing her inner thighs a lot, and teasing her lips and building up her excitement.  I don't go for the clitoris until maybe a good minute or two, and then very slow and circuitously.

This is "making love" as I perceive the term.  Very gentle and slow and loving.

Once she can accept direct clit stimulation, she wants a decent amount of tongue pressure.  Where I went wrong before was using the tip of my tongue and strongly "attacking" her little nub of pleasure.  That's not what she wants - she wants firm but consistent tongue pressure that is best delivered with the full width of my tongue.  I know that once she begins to moan, I am to keep doing what I am doing until she climaxes.  A mistake I made in the past was to accelerate my pressure and/or speed when I knew she was close to her orgasm - that's what I want when she is jacking me off.  That effectively ruins it for her.  Stay the course!

It takes her a long time to climax from oral sex (she sometimes apologizes for it).  The vibrator gets her off in seconds but my guess is that I am down there making love to her clitoris for over ten minutes.  It's a slow, loving process that cannot and should not be hurried.  It is making love to her body in a very intimate way.

After her orgasm, she is glowing and seems paralyzed.  I usually will caress her inner thighs, breasts, and pussy lips.  She does not allow me to kiss her, but I certainly would do that if she did.  She needs time to take it in, and I do feel that it is extremely romantic and loving how I care for her body when she is in the post-orgasm state.  There is really no mess and fluids on the bed, just on my lips and chin.  I love her scent and taste.  I have been really getting off on putting her clothes back on afterwards, but  this isn't entirely necessary if there is no semen mess.  She may simply want to fall asleep at that point or she may tease me or she may allow for intercourse.

But whatever direction she chooses, if I have successfully brought her to orgasm with my tongue, I have made love to the woman I love.  And it is a very feminine version of sex: slow, loving, clean, and tender.

I so want to make love to her right now.

Finding balance

After our intense session a week ago Thursday, we have not had any significant intimate contact.  In fact, one thing that stuck with me after our session was that my Queen said something like "now you can leave me alone for a few days".

I have been pondering this statement along with my "orgasm hangover" from my sexual release.  It is indeed the case that I basically left her alone and had little interest in sex after that session.  I did not have the raging hormones that compel me to have physical contact and intimate relations with her.  For me, it is sort of like Inigo Montoya in the Princess Bride, after he killed the six fingered man to avenge his father.  He sort of seems confused about what to do.  Sexually speaking, I can relate to that.

Adding to this melancholy, my Queen has been out of town for several days.  Under ordinary circumstances, that means that she enjoys me being locked up in the chastity cage.  She does not allow me to be locked up that often, I think because she enjoys the difficulty of the honor system for me, and she likes seeing/feeling my erection when she denies me orgasm.  However, if we are physically separated, neither of those things applies, so she typically enjoys me being locked up in those circumstances.

This doesn't happen that often, and frankly, I was kinda looking forward to being locked up.  But she also does not like "topping from the bottom" and I know her preferences well enough to know that "suggesting" that I be locked would not be a good move.  Adding to this backdrop, she has been quite stressed at work, and part of why she was gone is to get away from her stressors.  Adding a needy sub to the mix was probably not something she wanted.

In reality, this was a terrible time for me to be locked anyway.  I had an important work meeting on Friday and being locked would have been a distraction I didn't need.  And, I had to run the household while she was gone, which is always shockingly difficult.  My duties involved getting up very early both weekend mornings to ferry my seed around to distant places that potentially would be challenging to deal with for a locked male.

I had thought about self-locking, but ultimately chose not to.  I do not know what her reaction would be if I show up in our bedchamber tonight caged.  I have no clue.  She could say, "oh, wow, I am glad you did that, I forgot about that"; or she could get upset that I took initiative.  This is simply a case where a male has no idea where how his wive would land on this issue.

Alas, I will see my Bride tonight.  She has texted me several times that she loves me, but nothing dirty or checking in if I've been "good".  She did say she wants "hugs".  She can be ambiguous about what she means by this, it could mean cuddles tonight, or as we refer to "my kind of cuddles" which is sex play.  Also, very hard for me to figure out which way we will go.

With the title "finding balance" I was thinking I would discuss a healthy view of sex between married couples.  I don't think I have that balance, I am either super horny for her (most times) or I am feeling a bit mopey/orgasm hangover-y/sad that she is gone.  What's it like to be "normal"?

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Accidental male orgasm?

We had a fantastic session a week ago.  Here's the context: I had not come in her pussy in five weeks, and only had one actual orgasm during that time (it was a condom-wrapped titty fuck that was somewhat humiliating/exciting for me).  The session before, she let me enter her pussy but said in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to come.

With that backdrop, numerous tease and denial sessions in between, and her growing enjoyment of cunnilingus, I was super horny.  She started the session by playing with me.  I don't have a lot of time to write this, but suffice it to say she teased the hell out of me: nipple torture, ball torture, edging me to near orgasm.  I was fully nude and she wore her camisole.

I was a hot mess and then she takes her panties off and mounts me.  If I have not said it before, I will say it again: cowgirl, woman on top sex is BY FAR my favorite position.  So, I have a number of things going against me here.  Very limited orgasms, very highly teased, and my Queen using me as a human dildo.  I was not set up for success.

I tried very hard to hold out.  I thought about baseball, anything except sex.  Unfortunately, I couldn't help but look at the fact that my Queen was riding me and approaching orgasm but it turned me on so much that she was clothed and i was fully nude.  It was too much for me to take, and I came inside her pussy before she reached orgasm.

My orgasm wasn't that great, simply because I was trying so hard to avoid it.  My Queen had not specifically given me permission to come.  It's pretty typical for us to verbally communicate whether it's ok for me to come, and this "consent" did not take place.  Plus, I came before her, which is a big no-no.

She was not mad at me.  She seemed to actually understand that it was simply too much for me to take. My guess is that probably what she was most disappointed in was the fact that she seemed to be pretty close to orgasm, and then ultimately she got off with the vibrator, as I was once again a hot mess.  Literally.

*  *  *  *  *
I have only come twice from the cowgirl woman on top position: once was shortly after we started male nipple play and this night.  It's a rare treat and I love it.  I am disappointed in myself for not holding out longer and it would have been great to have her come from my dick.  It's the only position that she can come in without the use of toys.

One thing I found interesting was how much of my semen load was spilt back onto my cock and balls.  I clearly had a massive load built up, and she even remarked that she was "oozing" the next day.

All in all, I don't think she was actually all that disappointed that I came.  My suspicion is she found this situation "amusing" as far as what she can do to me, her power over my body and sexuality.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Origins of my CFNM fetish: the naked male

Being naked has always been taboo for me.  I am a very modest person and as I was growing up, I never really liked to be naked.  As an athlete, that was simply unavoidable.  We were in a locker room and were expected to change from school clothes to gym clothes, and it was totally unavoidable.  To this day, I have a very "quick change" style, where I leave my shirt on to cover up as much as possible when I take my underwear off, then I slip my jockstrap and shorts on, then take off my shirt, all the time, facing away so as to minimize the view to anyone.  Others are not nearly as modest: I've seen men in the locker room walking around completely naked like it was nothing.

None of that is erotic to me, but it gives context as to why being naked is so "naughty" for me.  That moment that I become fully naked and erect demonstrates unmistakably that I am hot for her.  I love it when my wife checks me out, inspecting my body, feeling my muscles, essentially taking inventory of her plaything.  It makes me hot to be thought of as a sex object.  It's about my vulnerability in that situation.    I love it.

The feeling of vulnerability is heightened by the contrast if she is more fully clothed.  This is another case of the "double standard" that turns me on.

When we were first married, it felt like everything was under the covers, and with the lights off.  She rarely if ever gave me any foreplay, because I was young and thrilled to have a woman want to have sex with me.  My erections came very easily.  Now that I am older, it seems that I need to have more of that visual stimulation, and it has surprised me that it is not only me looking at her, but the fact that she is looking at me that really turns me on.

My guess is that when I do orgasm, the majority of the time it is from handjobs.  She often has her head on my chest.  However, there are sometimes when she sits up and looks at my cock.  My arousal just goes through the roof!  There are two origins of this.  When we were first married and gave me handjobs, she would tell me, "wow, your getting close because your balls are moving up".  The fact that she understood something about my sexuality that I didn't know myself really excited me.  Then, more in our femdom days, she wanted to experiment with ruined orgasms and in order to understand the timing of it, she wanted to get a full picture of my arousal state so that she could know when to stop the stimulation.  Something about that made me feel like such a sex object, a toy for her amusement!

*  *  *  *  *

It seems like our society has a general taboo against male nudity.  In the movies, for example, nudity is skewed towards women and full frontal male nudity is very rare.  Most of our society deems Speedo swimwear to be distasteful.  I believe I read somewhere that it was a big deal when Playgirl magazine published its first ever erect model.  I suppose that another aspect of this that excites me is the role reversal.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Origins of my CFNM fetish: the clothed female

When I was horny pre-teen or teen, I used to ride my bike everywhere.  One of the places I frequented was a bookstore.  In the "coffee table" section, there was a bikini book.  Nothing but women in bikinis.  There were a couple topless photos, but I wouldn't call it pornographic.  I nervously went up to buy it.  I wasn't sure if they would allow me to purchase it, but they did.

I masturbated a LOT to this book.  It had all sorts of women, mostly model types, but also had "girl next door" women.  No men at all.  I got a lot of mileage out of that book, and I wonder where it is now.

I still have a fascination with women who wear bikinis.  If you gave me a choice, look at a woman in a bikini or the same woman nude, I'd pick bikini.  Why?

That's what I've been reflecting on.

  • Just barely covering up her girly parts implies a significant amount of confidence to the wearer.  As I've said before, confidence is sexy.
  • It's a visual, almost passive, tease; and if you've read my blog for any length of time, you must know that I love to be teased.
  • It leaves something to the imagination.
  • Generally speaking, clothing designers accentuate the natural curves of a woman, and therefore clothing makes the woman more feminine.
  • Tan lines - enough said
  • It's another form of denial

*  *  *  *  *
I don't have to stop there.  There are plenty more examples of women that have turned me on wearing just barely there types of clothes.  Dungeons and Dragons breast plate armor anyone?  Catwoman?  Female wrestlers?  

To bring back to the main focus of my life at this point, my wife.  Bear in mind, she is one of those types of women who is "always cold".  I bought her a decent combination of sexy/warm PJs that she almost always wears to bed.  When I play with her, I usually remove the pants and her panties but her camisole top usually stays on.  There is also a "coverup" but it's usually unbuttoned.

She has D-cup breasts that I adore.  We do some dirty talk that they are too big for me, that I don't deserve such hot tits.  It drives me crazy, but I love it at the same time.  I do caress them during foreplay but only suck on them when she asks.  When that happens, I just slip her camisole off and suck, and when done, the camisole goes right back on.  She is rarely fully naked when we play.  It amounts to a huge mental tease for me, and I love it.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Thanks for the comments

Replying to others' comments on my blog is almost impossible.  I get a weird "half cursor" and it gets extremely slow and unresponsive when I try to type things in.  I can get around that only by typing in an alternate application (such as an email or Word) and then pasting it in.  This is a real pain.  I'm not sure why this is this way.

So, I am not being rude by not replying to comments, its just that my blogging time is very limited and I get frustrated by this.

So, I'll try to reply to two recent comments here.

Harry Haversackers asked about the use of numbing agents on my cock so that we can have intercourse with a reduced chance that I would climax.  This is something that I would really like to try.  I bought some Anbesol and I have two "desensitizing" condoms by our bed.  For some reason, my Queen seems against this idea.  I've talked about it and I wrote a fictional story based on this premise that she opened and got freaked out by.  Why?  It was long and she "thought" that it was too perverted.  I have not brought this up again.  Definitely on my bucket list.  Throughout our sexual history, my Queen almost always has said "no" initially to kinky acts and at some point she allows us to try it and most times she enjoys it.

From my perspective, my Queen's orgasms seem to be much more intense when she receives both vaginal and clitoral stimulation.  She likes my cock in her, and assuming I'm allowed to come, we occasionally have simultaneous orgasms, which is fantastic.  A lot of her climaxes lately have been me fingering the top portion just near the vaginal entrance with the Hitachi on her clit.  She LOVES that!

Anon asked me about femdom and my wife's "uptake" of it and cuckolding.
We are very "vanilla" outside the bedroom, although on rare occasions she will plop her feet on my lap and tell me to massage her.  Her domination of me is strictly around sex.  I think she is genuinely enjoying the concept that sex is for and about her.  She genuinely enjoys being in charge of my orgasms and she is enjoying sex more than any other time in our marriage.  She enjoys my reactions to her inflicting pain on me, and she very directly tells me so.  It is rare that she doesn't twist my nipples AND torture my balls.  Those acts are a regular part of our play, and I would say that she is much more aggressive with me than I would ever have expected.

When she is in the mood to control my orgasms (not all the time, but a lot of the time), she seems protective of my cock and does not want me to have an accidental orgasm.  For example, she has not let me enter her in a month, because she didn't want to "risk" me coming.  In this sense, she is very dominant.

If I'd have my way, I'd really like to explore spanking and restraint play more.  We have done that, but I'm not sure why she doesn't do it more.  We have a Feeldoe strapon that's never been used on me (I bought it with her permission and she has said that she would use it, but it hasn't happened yet).

Regarding cuckolding, I have not discussed this on my blog in a while.  It's something that's "out there" and she teases me about from time to time.  We've had some close calls but nothing really concrete.  I'm trying to stay out of it and let her explore as she feels comfortable.  Generally speaking, I am turned on by the "double standard" of her playing with other males while I remain monogamous.  I would say that the probability of it happening is more now than in the past.  What we've found is that finding a male to play with is much trickier than it would seem.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Early release: final score Wife 9 husband 1

I got an earlier release than I was told.  It was a fun night, and had some humiliation components to it.

My Queen is on her period and hadn't felt like playing.  She was very loving to my Sunday and made it clear she wanted to be sexually pleasured.  I was quite excited.  It was about 24 days since my last orgasm, and she had told me I wouldn't get released until it had been a month, which would have been on Thursday.

She came out topless, which is very rare.  My wife does not like to be cold and so she is usually fully dressed.  I love her breasts but nipple sucking is by invite only.  She told me to suck them, so I did, with the passion of a male who hasn't orgasmed in over three weeks.

Finally, it got to the point that I couldn't wait any longer, so I got out the Hitachi and pressed it against her pad.  I tried to suck her nipples at the same time, but since I kept getting the vibrator out of place, I just stopped.  She came while stroking my cock.

Little did I know that she wanted me to "titty fuck" her.  This is not something we do a lot.  She told me that she wanted me to either wear a condom or get a bunch of tissues out to contain my "mess".

This caught me quite off guard.  I wasn't expecting to come, so I jumped at the chance.  I chose the condom route.  Condoms have an erotic appeal to me.  I am a snipped male, so there is really no reason to use condoms except to limit my pleasure or to limit the mess I make.  My wife has never been all that shy about telling me how much she dislikes my semen (and pre-cum also).

So, fully erect, I got up and went to our toy chest to get a condom.  It aroused me a lot to put it on in front of her with her watching.  I mounted her and she immediately pressed her D-cups together to create friction for my cock.  As soon as I began thrusting, she looked down and said something like, "wow, I get to watch".  I didn't last long at all.  I began to unload my 24 day load into the prophylactic and had a wonderful orgasm.  I looked down and the condom was quite full.  She told me that it was really exciting for her to see me fill it up spurt by spurt (well, those weren't exactly her words, but I don't remember exactly what she said).

This made for an easy clean up.  I got some tissues to wipe the condom lube off her twin peaks and then threw the condom and wrapper in the trash.  What a lovely night!

*  *  *  *  *
Condom play is something that I have talked to Suzy about.  We typically only use condoms when she is not quite off her period but wants intercourse or if we are away from home and want to avoid a clean up mess.  Being that I have undergone a vasectomy, it does feel a tinge humiliating to me to wear a condom.  Doing so is clearly not for birth control.  I believe that condoms can be quite erotic with accompanying dirty talk.  I asked her to put it on me, which she didn't.  That would have given me the same submissive thing as her putting a chastity cage on me, which she also has not done.

I fantasize that she makes me wear condoms more, perhaps allowing me bareback sex as a "treat" and while doing so saying things to me like "I don't want your filthy come in my pussy".  Just a thought from a kinky submissive male.