Well, we did have sex last night. It was very late and she kept telling me she just wanted to cuddle. I was having none of that. I kissed her and groped her a lot and then I asked her if she was aroused and said “yes, I want an orgasm now”. I got the Hitachi and started fingering her pussy and applying the Hitachi to her clit. She made a positive comment to me and said she loves the feeling when I finger the top of her vagina. She then said, “I want you inside me, can you handle it”?
My cock slid in effortlessly because she was so wet. It felt great. I penetrated her the same way as before, slow and deep. For some reason, it was taking her longer to come and I was having a hard time staying focused due to her moans of pleasure and how horny I was. My cock kinda came out of her pussy and I couldn’t really get back in, especially because she had just started her orgasm. I believe I in fact had a ruined orgasm while she was climaxing. It was somewhat surreal. She came hard and my cock was unstimulated except that I think my head touched her thigh. I know that my cock did spasm but I did not feel a lot of pleasure and I maintained my erection (I normally am able to stay hard after a ruined orgasm, but never after a complete one).
She didn’t realized that I "ejaculated" because it all happened while she was coming. She said that there was a huge wet spot and “that didn’t come from me”, and yet she could tell that I was still available for intercourse. She told me that access to her pussy was denied, and “maybe tomorrow night” I could come.
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I have had a rough patch sex wise. I have come during cunnilingus, she gave me a handjob with an incomplete orgasm (I didn't know this at the time, but according to her, she had attempted to delay my orgasm by pulling down on my scrotum and I came while she did that, but it was not a full orgasm for sure), and now I "self ruined" an orgasm. Ugh. My sexual confidence is not that high right now. To some extent, I am getting more turned on by her "humiliation" of my sexual mishaps, but on the other hand I am frustrated at these events also.
In hindsight, I think my wife did not want me to come last night, and I didn't (really). So, things seem ok, we are off the holiday vanilla sex, and she is back to dominating me. I love that woman.