Monday, December 29, 2014

Shaved pubic hair as an invitation for cunnilingus

Have not had a lot of time to blog, except got a chance today.  We haven't really played that much due to the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  Last session we had, my wife had shaved her pussy, and I was so excited that I went down on her immediately.  

Cunnilingus is probably my favorite sex act.  For me, it is a very intimate, loving act for a husband to perform on his wife.  I don't necessarily feel that "submissive" doing it*.  Before we were in a femdom relationship, I still enjoyed going down on her.  I like her taste, her scent, and hopefully the orgasm she  gets from my oral lovemaking.

She is not comfortable "telling" me what sex acts to perform.  I guess you can say that her shaving her pussy is as close as it comes to her guiding me to go down on her.  I have told her a million times that I love going down on her, and she sometimes refuses it.  My speculation is that she is not as clean down there as she would like, or that she doesn't feel like we have time for it and simply wants to come quickly with the Hitachi vibrator.  Going down on her is not a quick thing, it probably takes 5-15 minutes to result in an orgasm.  And it is not 100% guarantee that I can get her to orgasm orally, but the Hitachi vibrator has never failed.  I am a better cunnilinguist than I used to be, but certainly have room to improve.

It so happened that as I was going down on her, there was a piece of stubble that was in my chin.  I guess she missed a spot.  It was digging into my chin, and making me feel itchy.  She was well aroused and I couldn't exactly stop.  I overcame it, and she came nicely.  It was loving.  Almost every time after she comes, she tells me how great her orgasm was.  I consider myself to be a connoisseur of her orgasms.  They all seem very powerful, more powerful than my orgasms for sure.  When successful, her orgasms from my tongue are very intense.  

There are only two drawbacks: I can't figure out how to eat her out and penetrate her vaginally at the same time.  I am pretty sure that it would intensify her orgasm, if I could figure that out.  The angle/geometry and my inability to multi-task seem to be the main reason.  I have tried to do that with her on her knees and me underneath her, with limited success.  She seems to prefer being on her back when receiving oral sex.  Yes, I have fantasized a lot about having another male assist in this regard.  Perhaps, if the angle and geometry are right, I would attend to her clit orally while he penetrates her vaginally.  Something I would really like to try down the road.

The second is that she refuses to kiss me afterwards.  I usually rinse my mouth out right afterwords while she basks in her orgasm.  She will let me kiss her on her neck, but not on the mouth.  I wonder how common that is with women.

Anyway, after she calmed down from her orgasm, she let me penetrate her and I came inside her.  It was nice.  We typically get a little more "vanilla" around holidays/vacations, and I think this was an example of that.  She did text me the next day that her pussy was still oozing my semen.  I really like it when she tells me that.

* My wife no longer gives me blow jobs.  She never has liked to do it, and she had reluctantly given me a blowie for my birthday and our anniversary, and maybe Father's day.  But she really has gotten past that as an "obligation".  I really do not expect to ever receive another blowjob.  It is most definitely a double standard.  What I am trying to say is that I really enjoy pleasuring her this way, and she does NOT enjoy pleasuring me via oral reciprocation.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Craving domination ~ a lovesick puppy

We are having end of the year craziness and not having any time together.  I feel like a lovesick puppy.

I am feeling two things.  I absolutely crave being dominated by her.  I am 100% sub.  When she dominates me, I feel alive, accepted, and loved.  It isn't that my love for her is contingent on her being dominant with me, but it does enhance it in a way I can't fully explain.

I kept my kinky desires from her for many years.  I've always been a very sexual person with a high libido (polite way of saying I am always horny).  During the first 15 years of our marriage, she was never open to doing anything kinky.  I am so grateful that the past few years she is opened to it.  And she really does enjoy it.  She enjoys controlling my orgasms, ball torture, and her own climaxes.  She likes our sex play.

Female sexuality is amazing to me, I still can't figure it out.  I am a very analytical person.  I know that if I shake a martini, I am going to enjoy drinking it.  To me, this is a very straightforward antecedent -> reward situation.  Hearing the noise of the ice banging in the shaker makes me happy ~ I know I'm going to get something good.  I've never not enjoyed a martini.  Even a bad martini (say, too much or too little vermouth or no twist) is still REALLY good, and I enjoy.

Likewise, my wife REALLY enjoys her orgasms.  For reasons that aren't obvious to me, her climaxes have improved by orders of magnitudes.  It's hard to define if I am jealous or simply in awe of her sexuality.  My own orgasms, frankly, seem to be diminished.  Not sure why.

But my wife doesn't seem to have a clear antecedent (sex play with me) -> sexual/relationship fulfillment.  She doesn't say to herself, "if I play with my husband, it will draw us closer in intimacy and I will experience earth-shattering pleasure".  Even though that's a true statement (from both of our perspectives), she doesn't have that kind of motivation.  She gets caught up, lost in the worries of employment/family life.  In her words, she doesn't have time for that.

I would love to be at her beck and call, sexually.  To be "forced" to give her cunnilingus every night to "relax" her for the troubles of the next day.  It is my submissive fantasy to be her sex slave.

If we were to switch roles, and I were the dominant and she were submissive - and I could "demand" fellatio every night, and she enjoyed that act and submitting in that way, I would have no problem "requiring" a blowjob every night.  I love receiving a blowjob.  She hates giving me a blowjob.  It's just not in the cards.

So, what to make of this?  Perhaps it is the curse of having mis-matched libidos.  This seems to be pretty common with couples.  I do know that I love my bride more than ever and I want to be with her all the time.  It's not 100% sexual, not by a long-shot.  But exploring our fantasy life has definitely enhanced our intimacy together, no question about it.  And while vanilla sex is fun and better than no sex -- I really have no desires to go back to "vanilla".  I love her dominating me way too much.  I am a lovesick puppy for her.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Our unspoken "rules": longing for another sex ritual (please share yours)

It's been about a month since my wife told me to lock up in my CB-6000S.

I have a bit of a love/hate thing with being locked in the actual chastity device.  It happens just about every time.  I want to be locked up.  I get a lot of very tangible benefits from it.  But once she imposes it on me, I want out pretty much right away.  Why?  Mainly due to hygiene and various problems with being locked.

I DO NOT like being locked up at work.  I have a desk job and it gets uncomfortable to sit with the device all day.

I DO NOT like being locked in the gym.  While I have been getting pretty good at peeing, cleaning in the device is a royal pain.  Plus, I don't want to be "found out".

I could go into lots of reasons I like being locked up.  But top on the list is "attempting" to get an erection in the device.  She will often verbally tease me about this, which I love.

We don't have any formal "contract" with our sex life.  She would probably laugh at the idea.  We do have a couple of "understood" rules for sex.  They are sometimes broken, mainly by her.

The first rule is: she comes first.  I would say 90% of the time, my wife has the first orgasm.  After, she either will deny me or let me come  On occasion, she will be turned on by what she does to me and will have a second orgasm.  Sometimes she jerks me off and then falls asleep.

The second rule is: she needs some "downtime" after her orgasm.  She has chided me for trying to get in there too soon.  She does enjoy being stimulated all over her body, just not her pussy (although, she enjoys caresses on her outer pussy lips.

The third rule is: I ask permission to come.  It's an affirmation that she can say no.

I will note that even when she woke me up for sex the other night, I followed these unspoken rules.  I penetrated her, withdrew, then fingered her with the Hitachi on her clit, and she had an unusually long orgasm.  I played with her body, then asked if I could come inside her.  She said yes.

Now to the punchline.  I have been fantasizing about a chastity device ritual for the weekends.  I am expected to lock up on Friday evenings, before bed.  A ritual, just like brushing my teeth.  If she's in the room, she will snap the lock shut.  She normally falls asleep early on Friday nights, and we seldom play on Fridays.  She will expect that on Saturday morning, I will be safely locked in my cage, and with her having access to my key, can unlock me at any time during the weekend, or not.  She could make me suffer through the early part of the week.  But, having a "default" chastity ritual is something that appeals to me.

Do YOU have any sex rituals with your playmate?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Morning Wood, citrulline, semen-less intercourse

Queen had a very busy week, but her milestone is past her, so I suspect that we will be playing more.  I looked at my orgasm tracker page, and it appears that we might have "missed" her ovulation time.  Or maybe not, I'll explain later.

A couple of things related to erections.  I have been taking citrulline for a while now.  Found out about it in the "men's sexual health" thread on  Anyway, I would say that my aging has not been that kind to my erections.  I typically do not have an issue achieving an erection, it's just that I tend to lose them if I don't have direct stimulation.  It's a bummer.  I used to get hard at virtually anything, and stay hard.  Aging sucks, but it beats the alternative.

Well, citrulline seems to have marginally helped me.  I do feel that I hang lower when flaccid, which is a benefit from my standpoint.  No difference in erect size.  I have noticed that my morning wood seems a bit stronger.  Earlier this week, I woke up to a raging boner.  I was fully "tented" in my shorts I asked my Queen to feel it.  I mean, it was "take my pants off and you can ride me to your heart's content" hard.  Well, she did stroke me a bit, but that was that.  As I've said before, I get a lot of pleasure out of simply having a quality erection.  It was blissful.

After that, we had a bit of a fight.  It was more a case where I was mad at her for either ignoring me, or a parenting conflict.  I can't even remember.  We didn't really talk about it much, but she came out wanting to play.  She had an orgasm but then I couldn't get hard.  I think that it was simply because I was mad at her.  Sure, I wanted to have sex (I'm a dude), but it was an unresolved confict.  WTF, I'm a turning into a woman?  Sheesh.  Well, I used the Hitachi on myself, and it still wasn't hard.  I asked her for some "help" (which I usually don't need), and she did in fact stroke me and I finally got my erection.  My erection problem resolved, I asked: handjob or intercourse (this wasn't a femdom session, it seemed).  She said it was up to me, and frankly the idea of penetrating her seemed really good, so that's what happened.

So, two conclusions: I do think citrulline marginally helps with my erections, but I wouldn't call it viagra like (bear in mind, I've never used viagra either).  It seems like a positive cost-benefit from what I can tell now.  Secondly, psychological state does play a role in achieving an erection.  That wouldn't be the case when I was younger.  Pretty sure you could run over my car with a tank, and if my wife wore something sexy, I'd get a boner and want to play anyway.

Well, then we had a femdom session last night.  Since this post is getting longer than I'd like, I will just say that she came out without panties, I gave her a quick orgasm, then she allowed me to penetrate her, but told me in a firm, assertive voice that I was not allowed to come.  She mentioned locking me up, then I said, oh yeah, right now?, and she was clearly displeased that I was "topping from the bottom".  Ugh, well she teased me with some dirty talk and nipple torture and kept taunting me that I should not come, and then ultimately booted me from her pussy.  I'm sure her scent is still on my cock.  Very hot session!  I'm looking forward to more play in the coming week!

My wife gets a little more frisky around her ovulation time.  So... maybe we didn't miss it after all!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Marathon Femdom session

My Domme and I found ourselves with an empty nest for almost a 24 hour period.  We took full advantage.

I was on my way home and I decided to pick her up a Starbucks.  Funny how a domme and a sub can think alike.  As soon as I got home, she began texting me a series of instructions, one of which was get her a Starbucks.  Check!  She was very pleased.  Beyond that, she told me to get out several toys and to get the under the bed restraints ready.  Awesome!  It had been a long time since I've been tied up (and, btw, I was still locked in my chastity cage, this was the seventh day).

I got the toys out and restrained one hand.  She restrained the other and we started to play.  She was wearing a very skimpy robe-like outfit that didn't cover much, and I was naked except my wedding ring and my chastity device.  She slapped my balls with various implements for quite some time.  She would take occasional breaks to switch toys or torment my nipples.  Testicle torture in a chastity cage adds a whole new dimension to the pain.  When you are unlocked, the scrotum "gives" so that the direct impact to the testicle is reduced.  The cage acts to isolate and present the male organ so that there is more direct impact.  I must be some kind of freak, because I loved it.  She really worked me over, and the diversity of toys really added to it.  I don't know the name of all the whips/corps/paddles, but they have slightly different sensations that drove me nuts (haha).

After quite a bit of this, she told me she wanted my cock inside her.  Yes!  OK, so she told me to retrieve the key, I gave it to her, and she unlocked me.  This was a week in chastity.  I suggested I clean up a bit, so I took a quick shower.  Came back and she seemed willing to let me inside her.  Seemed.

I told her I wasn't going to last long and that perhaps she should come first.  She was pretty worked up at that point, I did a lot of nipple sucking and kissing, so we went to the Hitachi and I fingered her.  I caressed her post-orgasmic body and thought she was about ready for me to mount her, so I started stroking my half-erect cock to insert.  But then, WAMMO!  She had other plans.

This blew me away.  She told me "not so fast" and then started playing with my ass.  She hasn't done this in a while.  She took the aneros prostate toy and started teasing my butt with it.  I suggested that an ass-up position might work best, and she agreed.  She had it lubed and then stuck it in me.  She put it in the "wrong" way and the twisted it around, which was a great sensation.  She mentioned I was making a mess, so we re-positioned the T-shirt to catch fluids.  She got out the Hitachi on my cock, but the sensation was simply too intense for me, I told her I would come in seconds.  She then started stroking my cock and pushing the aneros in my ass, like she was fucking me with it.  She later told me that she wasn't moving it that much, just a half inch or so.  The feelings were "complicated".  I didn't know what to make of things.

I had an orgasm/ejaculation - that was clear from the huge mess on the T-shirt below.  But it wasn't that pleasurable.  I am still a little confused about this.  Psychologically, this was a very pleasurable experience.  I love being on my hands and knees - it is such a vulnerable and submissive position.  My Queen said that the semen came out all at once, not like a normal spurting ejaculation.  It didn't feel bad, but it wasn't the most intense orgasm I've had either.  It was not a "ruined" orgasm, because I felt pleasure, there was a big load, and I went into the refractory period.  I think that I was frankly confused by the stimulation.  I would definitely try it again.

She came again with the vibrator.  I mentioned that within an 18 hour period, she had more orgasms than I had had in about two months (she came the night before too).  Obviously, she has been enjoying limiting my orgasms, so I suspect that this is a "be careful what you wish for" public service announcement.

We had a social engagement and some errands to run, so that was it for the night.  She allowed me insider her in the morning.  Alas, our empty nest was soon filled.  I love my Queen.  Long live the Queen!

*  *  *  *  *

I realize this was a long post.  But this was about a 2.5 hour lovemaking session.  During the femdom session, I had not come inside her, but rather had a mildly humiliating orgasm and she had two.  I suppose from an outsider, it might seem cruel, but I like this form of sex.  BY FAR, the hottest thing about the session was when she specifically told me she wanted my cock inside her, and then she told me no.  Did she do so because I made the "assumption" that I was allowed to enter her, and started stroking myself?  Not sure.  But, she really dominated me, telling me what to do, and directing how I orgasmed.  What a night!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Sports and Sex: Pugilism

I have been a sports fan my entire life, participating at the HS level in two sports, one of which I was quite talented in.  I never really "got" boxing and now ultimate fighting.  It still seems awkward to me to have a "sport" where the object is to beat the shit out of the opponent.

I don't really like the idea of this, but don't have any problem with those that do.  But, there is something about it that turns me on.  What makes this sport that I don't like sexy?  Here goes:

  • There seems to be a general element of sex to the sport.  The fighters have chiseled bodies.  They are almost nude at the "weigh-ins", and surrounded by scantily clad women (which activates my CFNM fetish).
  • For male events, there is a bikini clad woman that displays the rounds to the crowd.  For female events, the women wear sports bras, which I always find to be sexy.
  • Dudes that like Ultimate Fighting, no big deal, a dime a dozen.  Have you ever heard a woman really into this, screaming for a dude to beat the shit out of some other dude?  I find that sexy, that a woman could be so into such a brutal sport.
  • The trash talking that often accompanies this sport is arousing to me.
  • Few fights are ambiguous as to who wins, there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  That is, for ultimate fighting, a "submission" hold unambiguously ends the fight.  The idea of "submitting" is arousing to me.  When you "submit" to your opponent, you recognize that he or she has dominated you and losing the fight is a better alternative than what he or she could do if the fight were to continue.  For regular readers of this blog, it should come as no surprise that I am turned on by the idea of submission.  It draws a very real parallel to me, for example, when I submit to my wife.
I do not "follow" boxing or ultimate fighting.  There is something animalistic about it that does pique my curiosity: if there is an article about it, I will usually read it.  The past fights I was made aware of had to do with Anderson Silva breaking his leg in a brutal fashion, and Ronda Rousey defeating an opponent in a longer time than was the expectation.  I find a couple of things interesting about Ronda:
  • She has made it well known that she wants to have as much sex as possible before a fight
  • She seems to be a prodigious trash talker
  • She is apparently the most dominant fighter by a mile, her arm-bar being considered a deadly move that everyone she faces succumbs to.
  • Knowing that there is a woman that could quite literally kick my ass is humbling (which brings elements of my role reversal fetish).
Wonder if anyone has any interest or feedback on this?  My next topic is wrestling.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

This is getting interesting: rubber bands, ball torture, male orgasm denial, and a long awaited lockup

When I was younger and exploring my sexuality (e.g., masturbating, which is no longer allowed), I was interested in adding additional pressure to my genitals.  I found ways to add additional pressure to my erection using a jock strap (I have a post drafted about jockstraps that I will publish eventually).  I also have enjoyed constricting my scrotum with rubber bands.  This gives me a pleasant feeling of "tightness" and improves my erection strength.

I have wanted to introduce this into our play session, thinking the additional pressure in my scrotum would have a unique feeling during ball torture.  It did.  My Queen really roughed me up, so to speak and left me denied orgasm.  In a moment of pure horniness, I asked her about locking me up in the chastity device.  To my surprise, she said that she wanted me locked up.

I tried to get the CB-6000S device on, but my erection was too strong.  I could have resorted to drastic countermeasures such as icing myself down, but She told me that it could wait until the morning.  I made her breakfast and then got the cage configured and let her snap the lock shut.

The following night, I did convince her to have another orgasm, a "quickie" as it were.  This was eye-opening to me in that my wife usually only allows sex play right before she goes to bed.  This was an unusual case in that she had a quick Hitachi orgasm, we cuddled for just a few minutes, and then she got up and went to work, and I fell asleep.  This hit me on two levels: the obvious, I enjoy her orgasms; but secondly it felt very dominant for her to come and then leave.  That's a dominant wife!

During our "pillow talk", I convinced her that it would be fun to have a female orgasm every night.  While not my favorite way to make her come, the vibrator is all she will allow when she has her monthly visitor and it is surprisingly quick and effective.  It makes us both feel better.  I have read several articles saying that female orgasm eases cramps and PMS type of syndromes.  Who am I to argue with that?  Works for me!

So, I am locked in the chastity device, more than likely until the weekend, when she should be in the clear from her period.  She seems to be enjoying it, and so do I.  Well, I don't really like wearing the device to work, because I sit all day and it ends to get a little uncomfortable.  But, I am happily locked for her.

I sent her an email about my thoughts on the matter but have not really had much feedback.  There is a possibility we will have some alone-time this weekend, and I have kinky thoughts on my mind.  Daytime, plenty of light sex in different parts of the house sounds awesome to me!


"Strange Sex"

Chances are, if I have a little time to myself and there is a show about sex on TV, I will watch it.  Such notables include:

"Strange sex" had unusual fetishes or strange sexual situations.  I recall watching a story about a man who was really turned on by his female partner being obese.  He actually wanted her to be so fat that she was bedridden.  That literally turned him on.  Another episode was about a socially awkward dude with a huge cock - something like 13 inches - and how that impacted his relationships.  Tough life, dude.

"Sex sent me to the ER" was fluff.  It usually had someone cheating on someone and in order to avoid getting caught, they take some risks and some mishap ensued.  Or the dude's penis fractures.  Ugh.

I'm pretty sure I've blogged about the female orgasm orgasm show, answering the question, why do women have orgasms?  Basically, evolutionary biology and how men and women are pre-programmed for certain sex preferences and behaviors.  Awesome!

"Sex in the Ancient World" seems hung up on prostitution.  How rampant it was, how married men avoiding getting caught, STDs.... not really my thing.

"Secret Sex Lives: Swingers" was a reality show based in Atlanta.  The dudes enjoyed having sex with non-spouses, but felt really jittery about their wives having sex with other dudes.  There were some awkward moments when one of the wives danced with some other dude and her husband saw photos of it and went ballistic.  Hello.... you are a swinger, yes?  That means you are OK with extramarital sex, yes?  Seemed kinda lame to have that couple on the show.  Maybe I could understand the angst one might feel, but it seemed like he genuinely did not want her having sex with others.  By definition, you are not a swinger.  Not sure why that couple was on the show.

"The Man Show" was generally my kind of humor and mainly centered on dude stuff like beer, women bouncing on trampolines, and surviving in the wilderness.  I miss that show, it made me laugh.

I digress.

I was thinking about my sexual desires the other day and realized that I could be on "Strange Sex".  No, not as the incomparably hung loner.  But I am a pervert.  I have certain fetishes that really turn me on incredibly.

I prefer to have my wife in charge of sex, and get really excited when she comes and I don't.  I love being nude in front of her, and am really excited when she is clothed.  I love giving her oral sex and for some reason I'm OK with her not reciprocating.  I fantasize constantly about her having sex with other men, but it turns me on that I am to stay monogamous to her.  I enjoy when she slaps my balls that would otherwise have me doubled over in excruciating pain.  I am not "normal".

I am delighted that my bride has indulged me in my kinks.  I am still very strange though.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be "normal", but normal is boring.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Falling to the communists

It's the SEXIEST holiday of the year, and my wife has fallen to the communists.  Getting a visit from Aunt Flo.  Paying her monthly bill.  On the rag.  Or as we most commonly refer to it in our household, she is "out of commission".


The night before last, she went to bed really early.  Really early for her and said she wanted to "cuddle".  We did cuddle, but it made me super horny.  I guess I had a huge oxytocin build up and yesterday I was horny all day.  We did some sexting and she told me she was out of commission.  I thought it was about time, so it was not a surprise.  Then I thought, shit, why didn't we play that night?  She does tend to avoid sex play right before her period.  I guess I thought it was all about me, her wanting to intentionally deny sex play until the week that she will be on her period.  But then I thought that since she seems to do this every time, it might not be about me: rather, she just simply does not want to play just before her period.  Pre-menstrual syndrome if you will.

She had a really good night sleep Wednesday night, and I thought at least we could play with the vibrator and perhaps she could tease me or give me a handjob Thursday night.  nope.  She was up really late.  I can't stay up that late, so I took some sleeping pills and went to bed.  I have no recollection of her sleeping in our bed.  Sometimes she sleeps downstairs.  Maybe she pulled an all-nighter.

Given the nature of today (activities being very late) AND the fact that a child is having a friend over for a sleepover, this is NOT going to be a sexy day for us.

During our sexting, I asked her to wear her yoga pants.  When she is on her period, she generally likes to wear tighter pants that I find very sexy.  I know she has purchased yoga pants, but I do not know if she has ever worn them.  She did not give me a reply to that.

Alas, it appears tonight in the alcohol vs. sex quandary, I will have to go with alcohol, with a hope that she will be tired enough to at least let me hold the vibe against her pad and let her fall asleep.

I hope you have a sexier Halloween than what I foresee for me!


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Animalistic sex vs. "making love": how cunnilingus helps me get in touch with my feminine side

I have never been a big fan of the euphemism "making love".  From my masculine perspective, sex is more violent and messy than "making love"implies.  Men want sex, women want to make love.

I have to provide gentle and loving foreplay for her to get aroused and ready for sex.  I suppose that is the "making love" part.  But after she is wet, sex gets much rougher.  

If intercourse is in the cards, I will likely mount in the missionary position, which amounts to almost 200 pounds of flesh pinning her down.  She does not like me to be slow and gentle.  PiV intercourse is all about friction in the genitals, and more and more we are getting into her pinching my nipples hard during sex.  If I am allowed to come, there is a huge mess.  I have a mixture of our juices on my cock, and the scent of sex lasts until I shower (and sometimes after ~ I have felt her scent on my fingers even after washing my hands!).  For her, my semen stays inside her through the night and she often texts me that she is still oozing it out during the day.

If intercourse isn't in the cards, we often use the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator, which is a beast.  I can't take that stimulation in my genitals.  But it gets her off, and we have a routine where I finger a certain spot to maximize her pleasure.

If she gives me a handjob, she is quite rough with me, slapping or squeezing my balls.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all this.  The roughness, the mess, the pain, the animalistic nature of a coupling.

But let's consider cunnilingus.  I believe it is more "making love".  I am super excited that we are doing more of this.  I have not been the best at this throughout our marriage, but I feel like I am turning the corner.

Where did I fail before?  Well, I don't have a clitoris, and I don't intuitively know what she wants.  She historically gave me little feedback.  Sure, I read "She comes first", but I don't think I really "got" it until recently.  I have to go very slow at first.  This was always hard for me to understand.  I suppose I still can't believe that a woman wants me between her legs, and I get all excited and lose it.  I want her to come so bad.  I have had success caressing her inner thighs a lot, and teasing her lips and building up her excitement.  I don't go for the clitoris until maybe a good minute or two, and then very slow and circuitously.

This is "making love" as I perceive the term.  Very gentle and slow and loving.

Once she can accept direct clit stimulation, she wants a decent amount of tongue pressure.  Where I went wrong before was using the tip of my tongue and strongly "attacking" her little nub of pleasure.  That's not what she wants - she wants firm but consistent tongue pressure that is best delivered with the full width of my tongue.  I know that once she begins to moan, I am to keep doing what I am doing until she climaxes.  A mistake I made in the past was to accelerate my pressure and/or speed when I knew she was close to her orgasm - that's what I want when she is jacking me off.  That effectively ruins it for her.  Stay the course!

It takes her a long time to climax from oral sex (she sometimes apologizes for it).  The vibrator gets her off in seconds but my guess is that I am down there making love to her clitoris for over ten minutes.  It's a slow, loving process that cannot and should not be hurried.  It is making love to her body in a very intimate way.

After her orgasm, she is glowing and seems paralyzed.  I usually will caress her inner thighs, breasts, and pussy lips.  She does not allow me to kiss her, but I certainly would do that if she did.  She needs time to take it in, and I do feel that it is extremely romantic and loving how I care for her body when she is in the post-orgasm state.  There is really no mess and fluids on the bed, just on my lips and chin.  I love her scent and taste.  I have been really getting off on putting her clothes back on afterwards, but  this isn't entirely necessary if there is no semen mess.  She may simply want to fall asleep at that point or she may tease me or she may allow for intercourse.

But whatever direction she chooses, if I have successfully brought her to orgasm with my tongue, I have made love to the woman I love.  And it is a very feminine version of sex: slow, loving, clean, and tender.

I so want to make love to her right now.

Finding balance

After our intense session a week ago Thursday, we have not had any significant intimate contact.  In fact, one thing that stuck with me after our session was that my Queen said something like "now you can leave me alone for a few days".

I have been pondering this statement along with my "orgasm hangover" from my sexual release.  It is indeed the case that I basically left her alone and had little interest in sex after that session.  I did not have the raging hormones that compel me to have physical contact and intimate relations with her.  For me, it is sort of like Inigo Montoya in the Princess Bride, after he killed the six fingered man to avenge his father.  He sort of seems confused about what to do.  Sexually speaking, I can relate to that.

Adding to this melancholy, my Queen has been out of town for several days.  Under ordinary circumstances, that means that she enjoys me being locked up in the chastity cage.  She does not allow me to be locked up that often, I think because she enjoys the difficulty of the honor system for me, and she likes seeing/feeling my erection when she denies me orgasm.  However, if we are physically separated, neither of those things applies, so she typically enjoys me being locked up in those circumstances.

This doesn't happen that often, and frankly, I was kinda looking forward to being locked up.  But she also does not like "topping from the bottom" and I know her preferences well enough to know that "suggesting" that I be locked would not be a good move.  Adding to this backdrop, she has been quite stressed at work, and part of why she was gone is to get away from her stressors.  Adding a needy sub to the mix was probably not something she wanted.

In reality, this was a terrible time for me to be locked anyway.  I had an important work meeting on Friday and being locked would have been a distraction I didn't need.  And, I had to run the household while she was gone, which is always shockingly difficult.  My duties involved getting up very early both weekend mornings to ferry my seed around to distant places that potentially would be challenging to deal with for a locked male.

I had thought about self-locking, but ultimately chose not to.  I do not know what her reaction would be if I show up in our bedchamber tonight caged.  I have no clue.  She could say, "oh, wow, I am glad you did that, I forgot about that"; or she could get upset that I took initiative.  This is simply a case where a male has no idea where how his wive would land on this issue.

Alas, I will see my Bride tonight.  She has texted me several times that she loves me, but nothing dirty or checking in if I've been "good".  She did say she wants "hugs".  She can be ambiguous about what she means by this, it could mean cuddles tonight, or as we refer to "my kind of cuddles" which is sex play.  Also, very hard for me to figure out which way we will go.

With the title "finding balance" I was thinking I would discuss a healthy view of sex between married couples.  I don't think I have that balance, I am either super horny for her (most times) or I am feeling a bit mopey/orgasm hangover-y/sad that she is gone.  What's it like to be "normal"?

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Accidental male orgasm?

We had a fantastic session a week ago.  Here's the context: I had not come in her pussy in five weeks, and only had one actual orgasm during that time (it was a condom-wrapped titty fuck that was somewhat humiliating/exciting for me).  The session before, she let me enter her pussy but said in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to come.

With that backdrop, numerous tease and denial sessions in between, and her growing enjoyment of cunnilingus, I was super horny.  She started the session by playing with me.  I don't have a lot of time to write this, but suffice it to say she teased the hell out of me: nipple torture, ball torture, edging me to near orgasm.  I was fully nude and she wore her camisole.

I was a hot mess and then she takes her panties off and mounts me.  If I have not said it before, I will say it again: cowgirl, woman on top sex is BY FAR my favorite position.  So, I have a number of things going against me here.  Very limited orgasms, very highly teased, and my Queen using me as a human dildo.  I was not set up for success.

I tried very hard to hold out.  I thought about baseball, anything except sex.  Unfortunately, I couldn't help but look at the fact that my Queen was riding me and approaching orgasm but it turned me on so much that she was clothed and i was fully nude.  It was too much for me to take, and I came inside her pussy before she reached orgasm.

My orgasm wasn't that great, simply because I was trying so hard to avoid it.  My Queen had not specifically given me permission to come.  It's pretty typical for us to verbally communicate whether it's ok for me to come, and this "consent" did not take place.  Plus, I came before her, which is a big no-no.

She was not mad at me.  She seemed to actually understand that it was simply too much for me to take. My guess is that probably what she was most disappointed in was the fact that she seemed to be pretty close to orgasm, and then ultimately she got off with the vibrator, as I was once again a hot mess.  Literally.

*  *  *  *  *
I have only come twice from the cowgirl woman on top position: once was shortly after we started male nipple play and this night.  It's a rare treat and I love it.  I am disappointed in myself for not holding out longer and it would have been great to have her come from my dick.  It's the only position that she can come in without the use of toys.

One thing I found interesting was how much of my semen load was spilt back onto my cock and balls.  I clearly had a massive load built up, and she even remarked that she was "oozing" the next day.

All in all, I don't think she was actually all that disappointed that I came.  My suspicion is she found this situation "amusing" as far as what she can do to me, her power over my body and sexuality.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Origins of my CFNM fetish: the naked male

Being naked has always been taboo for me.  I am a very modest person and as I was growing up, I never really liked to be naked.  As an athlete, that was simply unavoidable.  We were in a locker room and were expected to change from school clothes to gym clothes, and it was totally unavoidable.  To this day, I have a very "quick change" style, where I leave my shirt on to cover up as much as possible when I take my underwear off, then I slip my jockstrap and shorts on, then take off my shirt, all the time, facing away so as to minimize the view to anyone.  Others are not nearly as modest: I've seen men in the locker room walking around completely naked like it was nothing.

None of that is erotic to me, but it gives context as to why being naked is so "naughty" for me.  That moment that I become fully naked and erect demonstrates unmistakably that I am hot for her.  I love it when my wife checks me out, inspecting my body, feeling my muscles, essentially taking inventory of her plaything.  It makes me hot to be thought of as a sex object.  It's about my vulnerability in that situation.    I love it.

The feeling of vulnerability is heightened by the contrast if she is more fully clothed.  This is another case of the "double standard" that turns me on.

When we were first married, it felt like everything was under the covers, and with the lights off.  She rarely if ever gave me any foreplay, because I was young and thrilled to have a woman want to have sex with me.  My erections came very easily.  Now that I am older, it seems that I need to have more of that visual stimulation, and it has surprised me that it is not only me looking at her, but the fact that she is looking at me that really turns me on.

My guess is that when I do orgasm, the majority of the time it is from handjobs.  She often has her head on my chest.  However, there are sometimes when she sits up and looks at my cock.  My arousal just goes through the roof!  There are two origins of this.  When we were first married and gave me handjobs, she would tell me, "wow, your getting close because your balls are moving up".  The fact that she understood something about my sexuality that I didn't know myself really excited me.  Then, more in our femdom days, she wanted to experiment with ruined orgasms and in order to understand the timing of it, she wanted to get a full picture of my arousal state so that she could know when to stop the stimulation.  Something about that made me feel like such a sex object, a toy for her amusement!

*  *  *  *  *

It seems like our society has a general taboo against male nudity.  In the movies, for example, nudity is skewed towards women and full frontal male nudity is very rare.  Most of our society deems Speedo swimwear to be distasteful.  I believe I read somewhere that it was a big deal when Playgirl magazine published its first ever erect model.  I suppose that another aspect of this that excites me is the role reversal.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Origins of my CFNM fetish: the clothed female

When I was horny pre-teen or teen, I used to ride my bike everywhere.  One of the places I frequented was a bookstore.  In the "coffee table" section, there was a bikini book.  Nothing but women in bikinis.  There were a couple topless photos, but I wouldn't call it pornographic.  I nervously went up to buy it.  I wasn't sure if they would allow me to purchase it, but they did.

I masturbated a LOT to this book.  It had all sorts of women, mostly model types, but also had "girl next door" women.  No men at all.  I got a lot of mileage out of that book, and I wonder where it is now.

I still have a fascination with women who wear bikinis.  If you gave me a choice, look at a woman in a bikini or the same woman nude, I'd pick bikini.  Why?

That's what I've been reflecting on.

  • Just barely covering up her girly parts implies a significant amount of confidence to the wearer.  As I've said before, confidence is sexy.
  • It's a visual, almost passive, tease; and if you've read my blog for any length of time, you must know that I love to be teased.
  • It leaves something to the imagination.
  • Generally speaking, clothing designers accentuate the natural curves of a woman, and therefore clothing makes the woman more feminine.
  • Tan lines - enough said
  • It's another form of denial

*  *  *  *  *
I don't have to stop there.  There are plenty more examples of women that have turned me on wearing just barely there types of clothes.  Dungeons and Dragons breast plate armor anyone?  Catwoman?  Female wrestlers?  

To bring back to the main focus of my life at this point, my wife.  Bear in mind, she is one of those types of women who is "always cold".  I bought her a decent combination of sexy/warm PJs that she almost always wears to bed.  When I play with her, I usually remove the pants and her panties but her camisole top usually stays on.  There is also a "coverup" but it's usually unbuttoned.

She has D-cup breasts that I adore.  We do some dirty talk that they are too big for me, that I don't deserve such hot tits.  It drives me crazy, but I love it at the same time.  I do caress them during foreplay but only suck on them when she asks.  When that happens, I just slip her camisole off and suck, and when done, the camisole goes right back on.  She is rarely fully naked when we play.  It amounts to a huge mental tease for me, and I love it.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Thanks for the comments

Replying to others' comments on my blog is almost impossible.  I get a weird "half cursor" and it gets extremely slow and unresponsive when I try to type things in.  I can get around that only by typing in an alternate application (such as an email or Word) and then pasting it in.  This is a real pain.  I'm not sure why this is this way.

So, I am not being rude by not replying to comments, its just that my blogging time is very limited and I get frustrated by this.

So, I'll try to reply to two recent comments here.

Harry Haversackers asked about the use of numbing agents on my cock so that we can have intercourse with a reduced chance that I would climax.  This is something that I would really like to try.  I bought some Anbesol and I have two "desensitizing" condoms by our bed.  For some reason, my Queen seems against this idea.  I've talked about it and I wrote a fictional story based on this premise that she opened and got freaked out by.  Why?  It was long and she "thought" that it was too perverted.  I have not brought this up again.  Definitely on my bucket list.  Throughout our sexual history, my Queen almost always has said "no" initially to kinky acts and at some point she allows us to try it and most times she enjoys it.

From my perspective, my Queen's orgasms seem to be much more intense when she receives both vaginal and clitoral stimulation.  She likes my cock in her, and assuming I'm allowed to come, we occasionally have simultaneous orgasms, which is fantastic.  A lot of her climaxes lately have been me fingering the top portion just near the vaginal entrance with the Hitachi on her clit.  She LOVES that!

Anon asked me about femdom and my wife's "uptake" of it and cuckolding.
We are very "vanilla" outside the bedroom, although on rare occasions she will plop her feet on my lap and tell me to massage her.  Her domination of me is strictly around sex.  I think she is genuinely enjoying the concept that sex is for and about her.  She genuinely enjoys being in charge of my orgasms and she is enjoying sex more than any other time in our marriage.  She enjoys my reactions to her inflicting pain on me, and she very directly tells me so.  It is rare that she doesn't twist my nipples AND torture my balls.  Those acts are a regular part of our play, and I would say that she is much more aggressive with me than I would ever have expected.

When she is in the mood to control my orgasms (not all the time, but a lot of the time), she seems protective of my cock and does not want me to have an accidental orgasm.  For example, she has not let me enter her in a month, because she didn't want to "risk" me coming.  In this sense, she is very dominant.

If I'd have my way, I'd really like to explore spanking and restraint play more.  We have done that, but I'm not sure why she doesn't do it more.  We have a Feeldoe strapon that's never been used on me (I bought it with her permission and she has said that she would use it, but it hasn't happened yet).

Regarding cuckolding, I have not discussed this on my blog in a while.  It's something that's "out there" and she teases me about from time to time.  We've had some close calls but nothing really concrete.  I'm trying to stay out of it and let her explore as she feels comfortable.  Generally speaking, I am turned on by the "double standard" of her playing with other males while I remain monogamous.  I would say that the probability of it happening is more now than in the past.  What we've found is that finding a male to play with is much trickier than it would seem.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Early release: final score Wife 9 husband 1

I got an earlier release than I was told.  It was a fun night, and had some humiliation components to it.

My Queen is on her period and hadn't felt like playing.  She was very loving to my Sunday and made it clear she wanted to be sexually pleasured.  I was quite excited.  It was about 24 days since my last orgasm, and she had told me I wouldn't get released until it had been a month, which would have been on Thursday.

She came out topless, which is very rare.  My wife does not like to be cold and so she is usually fully dressed.  I love her breasts but nipple sucking is by invite only.  She told me to suck them, so I did, with the passion of a male who hasn't orgasmed in over three weeks.

Finally, it got to the point that I couldn't wait any longer, so I got out the Hitachi and pressed it against her pad.  I tried to suck her nipples at the same time, but since I kept getting the vibrator out of place, I just stopped.  She came while stroking my cock.

Little did I know that she wanted me to "titty fuck" her.  This is not something we do a lot.  She told me that she wanted me to either wear a condom or get a bunch of tissues out to contain my "mess".

This caught me quite off guard.  I wasn't expecting to come, so I jumped at the chance.  I chose the condom route.  Condoms have an erotic appeal to me.  I am a snipped male, so there is really no reason to use condoms except to limit my pleasure or to limit the mess I make.  My wife has never been all that shy about telling me how much she dislikes my semen (and pre-cum also).

So, fully erect, I got up and went to our toy chest to get a condom.  It aroused me a lot to put it on in front of her with her watching.  I mounted her and she immediately pressed her D-cups together to create friction for my cock.  As soon as I began thrusting, she looked down and said something like, "wow, I get to watch".  I didn't last long at all.  I began to unload my 24 day load into the prophylactic and had a wonderful orgasm.  I looked down and the condom was quite full.  She told me that it was really exciting for her to see me fill it up spurt by spurt (well, those weren't exactly her words, but I don't remember exactly what she said).

This made for an easy clean up.  I got some tissues to wipe the condom lube off her twin peaks and then threw the condom and wrapper in the trash.  What a lovely night!

*  *  *  *  *
Condom play is something that I have talked to Suzy about.  We typically only use condoms when she is not quite off her period but wants intercourse or if we are away from home and want to avoid a clean up mess.  Being that I have undergone a vasectomy, it does feel a tinge humiliating to me to wear a condom.  Doing so is clearly not for birth control.  I believe that condoms can be quite erotic with accompanying dirty talk.  I asked her to put it on me, which she didn't.  That would have given me the same submissive thing as her putting a chastity cage on me, which she also has not done.

I fantasize that she makes me wear condoms more, perhaps allowing me bareback sex as a "treat" and while doing so saying things to me like "I don't want your filthy come in my pussy".  Just a thought from a kinky submissive male.

Monday, September 29, 2014

30 orgasm free days for me... not her

This latest femdom session came out of nowhere; we had been playing very "vanilla" for some time.  I don't know what sparked this for her, but I am more than a willing 'victim' of her control of my cock.

We last had intercourse on September 11, which was just after her cycle was over.  It is entirely likely that I will not penetrate her until her next cycle is over.  During our "pillow talk" she has expressed interest in keeping me chaste for a full month.  She has asked me a few times how long it's been since I've come, and I have immediately told her (it's been on my mind, lol).  At first I thought she was just kidding around, but it does seem that our bedroom will be semen-free for another two weeks (I'm about halfway into this "sentence").  She will respond with something like, "Aww, that's not very long; I guess you've got to wait longer".

I have been pretty good about not topping from the bottom.  I asked her once if I could lock up and she sort of deflected it.  There may be a chance if she goes out of town, so it's possible she will lock me.  I definitely would enjoy that.  The fact of the matter is, I am coming to accept that she enjoys seeing and feeling my erections, so use of the chastity device will be a rare event.  I think maybe 3-4 times per year.

To sum up, since our last coupling on Sept 11, we've had six play sessions and she has had 8 orgasms (obviously, to my zero).  The longest streak that I can recall is 11 female orgasms in a row, so that record will likely be broken.

I just wanted to mention that she came via cunnilingus last night!  I was on the top of my game, and during her basking, she said that it was the best orgasm of her life!  Yes, I am a proud husband.  If you have followed my blog for some time, we normally are very tired when we play, and often times my Queen does not have the patience for me going down on her; besides, it's not always successful.

She had been shaving her pussy more lately, and when I saw she did a touch up last night, I knew I had to get between her legs and orally pleasure her.  It was awesome.  I love that she enjoyed herself so much.

I wanted to talk about the two teases she gave me:
  • Two sessions ago, she fell asleep after her orgasm and didn't tease me much.  As we were waking up in the morning, she started really stroking my cock through my shorts.  She got me reasonably close to orgasm, maybe 70% there.  It turns out, that she was in a dream or something, and didn't realize it was the next morning.  She simply thought it was a continuation from our playtime.  Wild!
  • Last night, after my successful practice of cunnilingus, she stroked my cock and slapped my balls through the thong I wore to bed.  I like wearing thongs, I like the feel of the fabric up my ass crack, and I like how it is so skimpy.  But in both cases, it is frustrating to get teased through the fabric, with no skin to skin contact.  An added benefit is that my pre-cum mess is contained.  I think she appreciated that.


Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ritual: undressing and dressing her

One time I had a day off and went to Target for a few things.  Nearly 90% of the shoppers were women.  It was a little cold, but not that big a deal for me.  Just about every woman was walking around shivering.

My Queen is one of those women that are "always cold".  Her normal nightwear includes her panties, PJ pants, a camisole, and a button up cover up top.  She always has a heavy comforter on top of her, and she remarks how hot I am when she cuddles with me.  In contrast, I usually wear a pair of gym shorts (no underwear) and shirtless (although sometimes I sleep nude).

A big turn on for me lately has been a near ritualistic act of undressing and then re-dressing her.  I suppose it's nothing new that a male helps his lover out of her clothes for sex play.  When we have intercourse and I ejaculate in her, she normally cleans things up a bit, and puts her clothes back on by herself.  She is in a better position to figure out what to do with "the mess".

However, our bedroom has recently been a semen-free zone.  I told my Queen that it really turns me on to dress her after she is done being pleasured.  I feel like it emphasizes that the sex is really all about her.  She only has to lift her legs up to assist with the undressing and re-dressing, and everything else is performed by me.

In our last play session, I really wanted to go down on her.  She had just shaven her pussy and that makes me lust for going down on her.  However, she wanted to come fast, and my initial tongue/clit interaction was bothering her*.  So, I took the Hitachi on her clit, and licked her pussy lips and vaginal entrance.  She came HARD.  She explicitly told me how much she enjoyed that orgasm.  She then told me to dress her.  That made me melt.  I am not all that familiar with panties and how to orient them.  I've had my difficulties undoing her bra before.  It was extremely erotic for me to have to "figure out" how to get the panties in the right orientation and then guide them through her legs, allow her to adjust her hips, and then finally positioning them perfectly on her.  Next, I did the same with her PJ bottoms, which were a lot easier for me.  I am doing this while fully erect and denied orgasm.  She then told me to put my shorts on.

OMG, I am getting hot just thinking about this.  I do feel some sense of humiliation.  Humiliation that I am essentially cleaning up for sex even though the "traditional" male mess was not made (of course, pre-cum was spewing everywhere).  I think one time she did this, she said, "good boy", which also made me melt into sub-space.  Apparently, there will be more opportunities for me to perform this ritual, as it doesn't appear she's ready for me to orgasm anytime soon.

* Of great mystery to me is the fact that she was bothered by my tongue being too "harsh" but jamming that super high intensity Hitachi on her clit didn't make her flinch.  Go figure.  I realize that I needed to give her more foreplay down there, something I hope to do tonight (can't stop thinking about her shaved pussy).  She and I both really wanted her to come!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Is this ever going to get old?

Lots of things are swimming through my horny little mind right now.

As for the relationship part: things are going really well.  We both have some external struggles in our careers, which caused some strain a few weeks ago.  Not that we are through that, but my Queen has been able to put that aside and focus a bit on us.  We had a fantastic play session recently (details below) and I am feeling almost euphoric right now.  My wife seems to be enjoying being dominant and I am enjoying submitting to her.

It made me think: is wife-in-charge sex ever going to get old?  It doesn't seem so.  It seems like there are so many avenues to explore right now, and it's constantly exciting.  My Queen has been very wet during our playtime, and her orgasms are easily the best she's ever had.

Down to the nitty gritty NSFW stuff

After she decided to dominate me again, I had a nice quasi-tease from her.  On a lazy weekend, I was laying half-awake and noticed that I had a full morning wood erection.  It was "ready for sex" hard.  My wife began to stroke it through my shorts and then lovingly stroked my balls.  It was maybe a minute, but it's hard to under-state how loved it made me feel.  Firstly, firm and full erections are becoming less common as I age.  In a sense, I felt like she was "celebrating" this in a loving way.  Second, it was a nice, albeit brief, tease.  Third, it played into my "love language" as being physical touch.  It's how I best interpret feeling loved - being touched.

Later, we had a great dominance/submission session.  I was horny and wanted to play.  She had flirted me a bit during the evening, so it seemed possible.  I became tired, and got naked and lit a candle in our bedroom.  I figure that would be unmistakable that I wanted something to happen.

She finally came up and started playing with my back and ass.  It felt SO GOOD.  Remember my need for physical touch?  OMG, I love it when she plays with my ass.  I turned around and she really started stroking my cock.  I was rock hard.  I was more awake at this point, so I got up to try to better play with her.  She then started squeezing my balls hard.  I asked her if she was trying to castrate me and she just giggled.

She had an incredible orgasm and then play time was over.

This is not getting old.

Monday, September 15, 2014

"Silly husband, orgasms are for wives"

We had a lull in our playtime and my wife's period came and went without me so much noticing.  Alas, life has gotten in the way.  Thursday, I took care of her with the vibrator and lay on top of her, my cock throbbing and I told her I really wanted her to dominate me.  She was too tired for that, but gave me the OK to come inside her.

Saturday night came around and I got my wish.

She was being a little more directive with me during foreplay, which I liked.  As I was caressing her back, I grabbed her ass and she asked if I noticed her panties.  Her panties said "In your dreams" (I believe from VS).  She told me that as she got dressed in the morning, she picked those panties out, deciding I wasn't going to come during our session.  She even said she "might" go for two orgasms.

During our pillow talk, she took it once step further and said that I wasn't going to come for a month.

As a submissive male, I was really turned on by this.  She let me suck her nipples and I could tell she was really hot and bothered.  I got the impression that she did not want to take her panties off, so I used the Hitachi on her clit and she came nicely.  I then gave her post-orgasm caressing and she seemed to back away from going for a second orgasm.  I was having none of that.

Her second one was hot also.  I straddled her torso with my erection revealing my excitement of her domination.  She swatted my balls a bit, but then did something she doesn't normally do: she played with my loose scrotum skin as opposed to my balls.  I took the hitachi and reached around (a behind the back orgasm!) and as she was coming a second time, she pinched the loose skin on my scrotum and pulled on it.  Her second orgasm seemed longer than the first one.

I realized she meant business about denying me, so I turned off the lights and cuddled her until she fell asleep.  I was so aroused by her dominating me that I could not fall asleep, so when she was asleep, I got up to take a sleeping pill and then cuddled her.

*  *  *  *  *
What a difference submission makes!  I cooked a great dinner Sunday night, put away the dishes she had done, and then finished off the new dishes.  I wanted to play again but she didn't seem to want to so I just went to bed.  As we were waking, I had what seemed like an unusually strong morning wood erection.  She lovingly stroked it and played with my balls.  So, I guess I got my teasing session after all.  I am one happy sub!

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Spontaneous CFNM experience

I can't stop thinking about how hot one of our escapades was.  We were away from home, she was on her period, and we did not expect any privacy for sex play.  As such, I did not pack the Hitachi wand for her pleasure.  That pretty much put the kabosh on any female orgasms, as that's the only thing she will allow during her monthly visitation.

Well, we unexpectedly had a few hours by ourselves.  I was (as usual) really horny.  I was hoping to ask her for some sort of play, knowing that unfortunately I could not reciprocate any pleasure.  She said that she would play with me, so I got fully undressed and spread out on the bed.

When we normally play, she has some sort of slinky outfit on, and I can see her cleavage pretty well and she lets me fondle her.  This was in the middle of the day, so she had her full "street" clothes on.  Nothing special, I think she had jeans and a T-shirt.  The disparity of the situation, or as I have termed it elsewhere on this blog, the "double standard" turned me on.  I had fantasized about her doing this a lot, except with her full work clothes on.  Wow, I couldn't believe how excited this made me!

I spread my legs wide, she had full access to anything she wanted to play with.  She got me hard and then said something to the effect of "I may just stop and not let you come".  I was so deep into "sub-space" that I couldn't really think of what to say.  I think I mumbled something like, "well, that's up to you, you're in charge".

She stroked me more and I honestly didn't know what was going to happen.  I could see it going either way: not allowing me to come because she couldn't, or letting me come to relieve my horniness.

She started doing ball torture and it felt so wonderful being under her control, being completely helpless.  I did come and it was a wonderful, fantastic sensation.  As I climaxed, she was smacking my balls hard and it was just a fantastic orgasm.  I was unable to move for a few minutes.

As I was coming down from my orgasm, I still felt very vulnerable, perhaps even a tinge of humiliation.  She went back to doing some phone stuff, and I was left with a pretty big mess to clean up, still completely nude but with a flaccid cock and all my horniness drained from my system.

*  *  *  *  *

I wish I could communicate to her how thrilling this type of play is for me.  I've told her about it before, cognizant that she could mis-interpret this fetish; that somehow I don't find her nude body attractive.  That is not the case.  It's the power imbalance that I crave.

Been a while...

I fell of the blogosphere for a while, I suppose for a number of reasons.  I have mainly been viewing (and sometimes commenting on) forums as opposed to blogs.  I checked out a few of the blogs that I used to follow and was a bit surprised by the number that have been stalled out, particularly that of "subservient husband".  He seemed very committed to the femdom lifestyle and I hope things are going well for them.

Our summer was very "vanilla" at first.  When we were on vacation, we had a fair amount of sex.  One time, earlier in the day, we had sex and I came and then we went out for a bit and a few hours later, she initiated sex again.  I could not get hard!  Ugh!  WTF?  My dream come true, and I failed.  I have had two instances of ED in my life, and they were both cases where we tried to have sex more than once in a day.  The first time was more than 10 years ago; We had sex twice and I could not get up for a third time.  Then this time, I could not get up for round 2.

After we had got back from our vacations, my Queen got very interested in teasing and denying me.  I haven't been that great about keeping my orgasm tracker up to date, but we had a period where I was teased and denied and even locked up in the chastity cage.  That was fun!  Interestingly, I got a rare chance at back to back sex Thursday and Friday night.  She teased me about my refractory period issues, basically "challenging" me, taunting me that she didn't think I'd be "up" for it.  Well, I was!  Very vanilla sex, but very satisfying as well.  I did it doggy style and had a decent amount of stamina.  Not sure if we will be able to go for another round tonight, but I think I could do it.

*  *  *  *  *

I love her very much.  We still have our communication issues, but I believe that her acceptance of our more kinky side has really made me feel very good about our relationship.  It's hard for me to explain, I guess it makes me feel "understood" and loved when she is willing to play a little naughty.


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Rare Male Foreplay

We played on Friday night.  My Queen hasn't been in the mood for sex.  On Wednesday (I think) she teased and denied me but did not have an orgasm of her own (she refused).  It was a pretty hot vanilla denial session.  She said that my moaning really turned her on, but unfortunately not enough to change her mind about foregoing her orgasm.

It started out pretty vanilla.  I was kissing her, getting her in the mood.  She said that she wanted to come.  I did the standard "finger in her upper pussy with the Hitachi on her clit" move.  She had a great orgasm.  I was rock hard and tried to get in her pussy.  She didn't let me in.  I didn't know what to make of that.  Either she needed more time to recover from her orgasm or she didn't think I needed an orgasm.

It was the former.  I laid on top of her, kissing her and allowing her to come down.  I then got up and "displayed" my arousal.  She gave me the most foreplay I have had in a very long time, but one thing that was very erotic about it was that she never physically touched my cock.  She instead administered ball torture on me.  It was mainly pulling on my scrotum.  In doing so, it created an indirect stimulation of my cock.  I was ROCK HARD.  She would slap my balls every now and then as well.  It was an erotic experience, and I wanted to come badly.  I don't often see my own erection, but I couldn't help but look down and see how big and hard it was.

I asked her if I could penetrate her and she said yes.  I got a Tshirt to catch the semen and I began pumping.  As we had an unexpected guest, she wanted me to be quite.  It is hot for me when she demands that I fuck a certain way.  Her demand was that I be as quiet as possible so as not to arouse suspicion.  As if I wasn't horny enough, that really got me deep into subspace.  I started fantasizing about her telling me, "look, you are not fucking me quiet enough, so you are done now".  But she didn't.  I asked her if I cold come and she said yes.

As I approached my orgasm, she started pinching my nipples.  I didn't want to top from the bottom, so I said as generally as I could, "Suzy, I don't think you can pinch them hard enough" and with that she really dug into my nipples and I had a terrific orgasm in her pussy.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Craving Domination: Wives being Mean

The last time we played, my Queen said that she might want me to wait until our anniversary before I could come.  That was a longtime away!  I don't know if she realized, but that amounted to about two months of chastity (for me).

I was interested in playing last night and she denied me.  Not in a sexy way.  She said she wanted "just to cuddle".  I get a little annoyed at this.  To me, what makes Femdom work is her getting hers but me not getting mine.  Not playing at all is celibacy, which isn't sexy at all.

She had a totally lame reason for all this and actually apologized in the morning.  She said she would "take care" of me tonight.

The thing is: I am not sure I want to orgasm.  I want to play.  I want to get hard and feel the desire in my loins.  I am horny as hell and want to tell her my latest fantasies.  They don't necessarily involve me orgasming.

I woke up with some wicked horny thoughts.  I wanted her to be mean.  Rough.  I crave domination, not orgasm.  If she left me chaste until our anniversary, I would be OK with that.

What I fantasized about is her being mean to me.  I have never felt this way before, but in my dreams/fantasies, I was excited by the idea of her slapping me.  Measuring my cock and telling me I wasn't big enough for her pussy.  Smack my balls.  Fuck me cowgirl style and not let me come.  Force me to eat her pussy.

Holy cow, I am horny just thinking about this.

Anyone else crave their female partners being mean?

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Expectations ~ Aftermath

Well, we did have sex last night.  It was very late and she kept telling me she just wanted to cuddle.  I was having none of that.  I kissed her and groped her a lot and then I asked her if she was aroused and said “yes, I want an orgasm now”.  I got the Hitachi and started fingering her pussy and applying the Hitachi to her clit.  She made a positive comment to me and said she loves the feeling when I finger the top of her vagina.  She then said, “I want you inside me, can you handle it”?

My cock slid in effortlessly because she was so wet.  It felt great.  I penetrated her the same way as before, slow and deep.  For some reason, it was taking her longer to come and I was having a hard time staying focused due to her moans of pleasure and how horny I was.  My cock kinda came out of her pussy and I couldn’t really get back in, especially because she had just started her orgasm.  I believe I in fact had a ruined orgasm while she was climaxing.  It was somewhat surreal.  She came hard and my cock was unstimulated except that I think my head touched her thigh.  I know that my cock did spasm but I did not feel a lot of pleasure and I maintained my erection (I normally am able to stay hard after a ruined orgasm, but never after a complete one). 

She didn’t realized that I "ejaculated" because it all happened while she was coming.  She said that there was a huge wet spot and “that didn’t come from me”, and yet she could tell that I was still available for intercourse.  She told me that access to her pussy was denied, and “maybe tomorrow night” I could come.

*  *  *  *  *
I have had a rough patch sex wise.  I have come during cunnilingus, she gave me a handjob with an incomplete orgasm (I didn't know this at the time, but according to her, she had attempted to delay my orgasm by pulling down on my scrotum and I came while she did that, but it was not a full orgasm for sure), and now I "self ruined" an orgasm.  Ugh.  My sexual confidence is not that high right now.  To some extent, I am getting more turned on by her "humiliation" of my sexual mishaps, but on the other hand I am frustrated at these events also.

In hindsight, I think my wife did not want me to come last night, and I didn't (really).  So, things seem ok, we are off the holiday vanilla sex, and she is back to dominating me.  I love that woman.

Saturday, May 3, 2014


One of the many areas we diverge are differences in expectations.  Thinking of the sex play I expect to have tonight makes me hornier.  My Queen, on the other hand, hates any expectation of sex.

We last had sex on Tuesday.  It was a great experience for both of us.  She came quite nicely with my cock in her pussy and the Hitachi on her clit.  She verbally recognized that she liked the slow and deep penetration I did.  I really like it when she gives me feedback like that regarding sex.  For whatever reason, I had pretty good stamina that night and after she came, I got a T-shirt and placed it under her and then finished off in her pussy.

We have not had any sex play since then.  She stayed up really late on Thursday and was therefore too tired to play Friday night.  Today is one of those days that it really feels like we will be playing, with some sexual tension between us:

  • While we were texting about something serious, she made a lighthearted comment about her co-workers enjoying a potluck item she made.  She used one of those emoticons and it seriously looked like a pair of butt cheeks to me and I told her so.  She said, of course I would think that and then sent a bikini emoticon.  Then, she sent a lock and key, a non-subtle reference to me being locked up and I instantly became erect.  Not sure if this will happen, but she clearly was thinking about chastity.  We shall see.
  • We were driving and the Devo song "whip it" came on.  She smiled and sung a little loudly about "whipping it".
  • During our shopping trip she intentionally looked at me smiling and asked if I needed nuts.
  • She has complained several times today that I did not cuddle her last night.  Several times.
  • A child brought up the idea that I could grow out a beard and she very quickly corrected that I could not.  She does not like facial hair on me and it turned me on how assertive she was about that.
  • She has been a little more bossy lately, telling me what to do and so forth.  She texted me last night to make her a drink (not asking, but told me to).

I shaved my chest today, and that act alone, when it is in preparation for sex, turns me on a lot.  When my chest is shaved she almost always runs her hands over it and makes a positive comment.

Sex lately has been somewhat "vanilla".  We tend to go more vanilla around vacations and holidays and sometimes it takes us a while to get back into female domination.  As kinky as I am, it is nice to "go vanilla" periodically.  But I am really hoping to be dominated tonight.  The fact of the matter is, I am really very horny.  I hope she will play with me.


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Humiliating Cunnilingus

We had some time where we were going to get sexy.  She wore the sexy nightgown, which signals that she is open to sex play.  We had some sexy talk and I told her that I would like to go down on her because I hadn't done that in a while (last time I asked she said no).

We were kinda just flirting, not really dominant talk, and I asked her if she had shaved, as I don't particularly like going down on her if she's hairy.  She said something to the effect of, mind your own business, you go down on me whether I am shaved or not.  I have long craved her to say something like that, "forcing" me to give her head ("that pussy is not going to lick itself").

It turns out she had shaved recently.  I am very turned on by that.  So I started getting down to business.  I had read a few articles on cunnilingus and tried really hard to give her good foreplay.  I was doing great.  She was moaning in a very sexy way.  I was turned on big time.  I had almost had her to the promised land, oh so close.

Then I came.

Yes, I came with almost no stimulation.  I was lying prone and obviously enjoying what I was doing, erect.  Suddenly, I was at the point of no return, I tried to lift my pelvis off the bed but it was too late.  It wasn't a great orgasm, so I thought it could have had a ruined one, which could have meant I could be hard for when it was "my turn".  I tried my very best to keep going but it did force me to lose my concentration and then my technique went south.  I went back to the Hitachi and fingered her and she came right away.

She seemed confused, wondering why I wasn't positioning myself to penetrate her.  I meekly explained what happened.  I tried in vain to stroke myself to get hard but then I realized I was in a full on refractory period.  I was done for the night, had had an orgasm without her even touching me.  I looked on the sheet, and I had a very large wet spot from my ejaculation.

I was super embarrassed.  She played it off like it was ok, that we could try the next night, but we haven't spoken about it nor played since.

Two things I learned about myself: I really like giving her cunnilingus and audible sounds of pleasure really turn me on.  I was quite freaked out about this, so I googled it.  It seems this does happen for some guys.  This is the first time something like that has happened to me, and I hope it doesn't happen again.  Embarrassing!

*  *  *  *  *
A few days later, my wife asked me directly, "isn't it about time for my period - don't you keep track of that?".  I told her that it was any day now and in fact she started yesterday.  As opposed to the story above, that was somewhat of an erotic "humiliation", that my wife seems to expect me to tell her when she is menstruating.  


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Locking up in a male chastity device: reward or punishment?

My Queen locked me up in my CB-6000 for the longest time I've been locked, about ten days.  It came as a bit of a surprise and I locked up as commanded, putting the entire device on in front of her as she watched.  The lockup time went ok, I didn't have any significant issues with rashes or anything like that.  I have had to do some mental yoga to figure out what I thought of the whole thing.  This is my attempt to do so.

The two best parts of this lockup period were the beginning and the end.  Why?  In both cases, I didn't know what was going to happen, and my Queen was firmly in charge of both outcomes.  It's not that hard to imagine why I enjoyed the inital lockup: I would like to play with chastity more than we currently do.  But the reason I enjoyed the unlocking wasn't so much because I got to come (although that was awesome) after a decent denial period.  Rather, it was the way in which she decided to give me release.

We had one of those nights when it was obvious we were going to have sex play.  I prepped by getting fully nude (except for my chastity device, of course), and she came out in a sexy outfit.  I spread my legs and she began to tease me, stroking my inner thighs.  I could feel my cock filling the cage, trying in vain to get erect.  Being "fully nude" and vulnerable to her was a big turnon (my CFNM fetish).  I had no idea if I was going to be let out.  She teased me, and I was really enjoying it.  She then said it was time for a release. I had not been asking to be unlocked, I was really letting her lead.  She came out with the key, teasing me a bit about it, making it more obvious that she was in charge of my sex.  I love "key teasing".  She put the key in the lock and teased me more by saying she had changed her mind and was going to leave me locked.  I was in deep sub-space.  I would have been fine with that, extending my chastity further, and still would have loved this session because I finally was getting a good, solid physical teasing from her.  Ultimately, she unlocked me, and I came inside her pussy.  After we settled back down, I told her I enjoyed being locked and asked her if she would be locking me more, which she said yes.

Alas, my main motivation for this post was to think through the pros and cons of me being locked in a physical device.  Here goes:


  • Male chastity is more real to me when I am locked up in a device.  Literally not having control over my own body is very hot.  One time when I was locked at work, we had to evacuate work due to a weather issue.  It was a rare time that I came home early and was alone.  Being locked was ideal, as I was horny and at most risk to "taking matters in my own hands".
  • I have never really minded sleeping in the device and waking up to morning wood.  I have heard men describe this as feeling like your balls are being ripped off.  Not for me.  I actually like the feeling of straining futilely in my cage.  Makes me feel manly and virile.
  • Endless teasing opportunities, particularly around the key and lock metaphors.  Love it how she safety-pins the key to her bra.  Very sexy.
  • The theoretical "double standard"/cuckolding.  If Catherine Zeta-Jones showed up and I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to fuck her, I simply couldn't.  However, my wife is fully capable of copulation with other men.  Turns me on a lot!
  • Sex play while locked is unique.  I generally assume that I will not be unlocked and therefore my cock is "off the table".  It's hard to describe, but I find that being locked seems to improve my focus when I go down on her.  It's a very real way of focusing on her for sex, and when she is done, she can decide to unlock me or not.  There's a natural law of inertia, and being locked seems to make it easier for her to deny me, as an action that only she can do (unlocking me) has to take place before I am released.  In the absence of no action, I remain chaste.


  • Far and away, hygiene.  I did a prior review between the Birdlocked Mini and the CB-6000S.  I am glad that I can choose which device I wear now, and it is definitely the CB-6000S, because of hygiene issues.  I had a hard time lining up my urethra in the Birdlocked, but this lock up period, I did much better with that.  Even still, I would not feel comfortable with her giving me a "locked BJ" (even though that would be incredibly hot) due to hygiene issues.  I'm near OCD when it comes to being clean for sex.  She also seems to recognize the hygiene issue.  We had a conversation around this and it was mildly implied that if I could maintain better hygiene, I might be locked more often.
  • Being locked at work.  Not a fan.  What makes being locked really fun for me is the bondage aspect, the straining in my cage.  Work is just not a sexy place for me.  I never really get an erection and have no real temptations.  While I believe I am better at it, urinating is more of a chore.  I have a job where I mostly sit, but by far the worst part is working out.  Yes, you CAN workout with a chastity device, but it is far more tricky in the locker room.  I have told my wife this, that I don't like being locked up at work, and she said matter of factly that that feedback made her want me to lock up at work more.  That's just her - Be careful what you wish for.
  • For me, successful lockup periods require a degree of maintenance (teasing) that my Queen is probably not willing to take on.  During this last lockup, we didn't really play that much.  We already have a significant libido imbalance, and me being locked exacerbates that.  I want to play, just about every day.  She gets lost in her world and as far as I can tell, forgets about my "situation".

Saturday, March 29, 2014

When it's kind to be cruel

If I were to explain some of our sex play to a "vanilla" male friend, I am pretty sure he would think I was nuts.  Some of the things my wife does to me, superficially seem mean.  But, I am a submissive, there is no doubt about it.  I have a very high stress job and it is very arousing for me to surrender control and have her be "the boss" in our bedroom activities.  I seem happiest when she is sexually satisfied and she is "cruel" to me.

And, some of what we both enjoy causes physical pain to me.  Blue balls, cock and ball torture, spanking, etc.  Its something we both enjoy.  Frankly, I'd like it if I were spanked more.  We have been talking more about humiliation in our play.

Last night was a good example.  She went to some ladies night out (which always makes me think they are going to talk about sex and makes me fantasize about her telling other women the virtues of a female led sex life) and when she got home she was really tired.

She is on her period, and I really wanted her to come.  It just seems like a nice, natural way to fall asleep.  She refused, and then I asked if I could come, and she said, "absolutely not, if I don't come you don't come".  But I wanted her to come!  Argh, the frustration!

She laid on my shaved chest and said she wanted to play with me some.  She caressed my arms and armpits, which got me quickly aroused.  She noticed my chest was pretty smooth and made an indirect "me likes" type of comment.  She then went to my left nipple, and squeezed it HARD.

It is hard for me to define: do I feel pain or pleasure or both?

My wife does not enjoy nipple play.  Every so often (I think due to her level or arousal and where she is in her cycle), she will tell me when she wants me to suck her nipples.  She was therefore very reluctant to play with mine ~ because she wouldn't want her nipples twisted, she didn't see how I could possible like that, and so she was reluctant.

But, she is over that.  She "gets" the fact that I enjoy things like this.  It really makes me feel understood and loved.  It's pretty weird how one of the classic grade school tortures, the titty twister, is something that really turns me on sexually.  She has done things pretty aggressively, maybe even more than I would want, but that's part of the excitement for me, that she is in control, monitoring my reactions and taking them as far as she wants.

For us, in our relationship, it is kind for her to be cruel.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Blogger technical problems?

I am not the savviest person when it comes to computers and am looking for any feedback.  I keep having these issues:

The text editor for when I reply to comments on my own blog frequently crashes.  It gets incredibly slow and I often can't see the cursor to edit my replies.  Sometimes I just give up, it doesn't work.  I rarely have this problem when I comment on others' blogs.

The "reading list" on my dashboard very often crashes and the list either doesn't come up at all (and I can't seem to reload it) or it spews out some spammy looking thing that I know I didn't "like".  What causes that?

I have stopped posting erotic images at the request of my wife, but sometimes I would like to find and post some images... however, I have always had a hard time doing that on my mac but not my PC.  Is there a trick?

Any feedback is appreciated.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

My Tom Cruise Jump on the Couch Chastity Moment

Be careful what you wish for, indeed.

Friday night, we were both very tired, and as I had predicted, my wife started falling asleep on the couch downstairs.  We had not played since she "forced" me to lock into chastity on Tuesday night.  I really wanted to play and better understand what she was thinking about the prospects of my next orgasm.

Unexpectedly, she DID wake up from her nap and was ready to play.  We did a lot of kissing and unfortunately for me not a lot of teasing.  This was about her.  All that foreplay led to her climaxing very hard on the Hitachi with my finger inside.  I caressed her inner things and pubic area as she "came down" from her orgasm.  We kissed some more and then I asked her if she wanted to dress.  She said yes, and I assisted her in putting her panties and pajamas on.  THAT sure made it clear that the session was over.  This was her fifth orgasm in a row since I had come.

There was no mention of taking off the CB-6000S or when I might get to come.  It all felt very natural as far as, she got hers but my time is "in the future".  I am doing a good job of letting her take control, and she is verbally telling me how much she likes the control.

We were cuddling like maniacs, oxytocin flowing through my brain.  I simply couldn't sleep.  After she was thoroughly asleep, I finally gave up and went downstairs and did about a weeks' worth of dishes that she hadn't done (it's "her job" and frequently a point of contention, since I am the cook).

While on this "chastity high", doing dishes didn't seem so bad.  I normally get really upset that she isn't keeping up with the dishes, but in this case, I had so much energy, it didn't bother me at all.  I kept thinking of how happy she would be when she knew they were done.  I finally took some sleeping aids, went to sleep and then woke up before my Queen.

Due to my oxytocin overdose, I woke up early and wanted to do some "courtship behavior".  I put all the dishes away as she slept.  I then went to Starbucks and got her favorite drink.  I lovingly woke her up and gave it her.  After some candid talk about our sex session, she finally realized that I had done all of "her" chores for her.  She made a comment that she liked it and it was unlikely she would unlock me anytime soon.  Why would she?

*  *  *  *  *
As it turns out, a relative of hers is likely to stay with us next week.  My wife ORDINARILY has a strict no sex policy when we have house guests, but she is OK with using the using the vibrator on her and handjobs on me.  Seemingly out of recognition of this, she sort of acknowledged the matter by saying, "no sex this week... but you're going to be locked up anyway".  It was certainly implied that nothing was going to slow HER pleasure down!  I am a happy sub =)