Saturday, December 21, 2013

Goldilocks Sex: Too much

I have been uncharacteristcally self-reflective lately, for a variety of reasons.  There have been a few threads in that have peeked my interest specifically about my sexuality, which is complex, contantatly in a state of flux, and frequently contradictory.  Believe me, for an otherwise rational male, this irrationality is tough to accept.

Alas, I conclude that sexual satisfaction for me is a fine line that is difficult to walk.  It's like the tale of goldilocks, where it can't be too hot, can't be too cold, it has to be just right.  With two careers and a family, it's very difficult to get it just right.

Basically, I find that I get depressed with too much or too little sexual activity.  I'll explain too much in this post.

I probably have masturbated more times in this month than the entire year combined.  Yes, that's unheard of for a male turned on by female orgasm control.  My Domme would probably be pretty ticked if she knew I jerked off.

I won't go into why I masturbated, just what the effects were on me.

I was horny and very turned on.  We were not in a position to play sexually, and haven't been for some time.  So, I took matters into my own hands, and had a very powerful ejaculation.  Lots of semen, and a very intense orgasm.  It felt great, except immediately afterwards.

Then I felt like shit.  I didn't feel a lot of guilt around this.  Normally, I would, but we are "on a break" sexually (reference from Ross/Rachel Friends episode, in this case meaning that sex play is simply not in the cards) and I do need some relief periodically (which I intend to describe in my next post).

Rather, I felt depressed and extremely lethargic.  I regretted having this climax, not for the 'normal' reasons, but because I just felt so bad afterwards.

As I have tried to study this a bit, my general understanding is that my brain had a rush of dopamine leading up to and during my orgasm.  It felt good to be erect and titilated and to be sexual, especially during a time when we haven't been sexual at all.  However, upon ejaculation, I think I got a particularly harsh overdose of prolactin, which made me feel extremely un-sexual and lazy.  This was on Thursday, and I am still feeling the effects of this laziness and lethargy.  I should have completed my workout by now, but I am just lounging around now, and will probably rationalize why I shouldn't.  All because I climaxed on Thursday.

Yes, my orgasm has made me depressed.  I have had "too many" orgasms (*sigh*, just one).

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I was inspired to post this by the topic of "are you a better husband when you are denied sex", and "do you regret orgasms" in  The answer for me appears to be "yes".  I am more attentive and loving when I am denied orgasm.  But there are certain "rules" that my sexuality imposes about that.  That's the topic of my next post.

I googled this.  It's apparently not that uncommon.  I'm particularly interested if others feel this way, and what about female orgasms?  Does a hint of this happen to women, ever?


  1. Hey there,
    I have already noticed the drop in attentiveness with my hubby after I allow him release. He also gets a bit more sassy or bitchy, if you will.

    Now for me, as a woman, I find that orgasms actually energize me. I feel a surge with them and either want to have more in a short span or just want to do things in general. I haven't yet been in a position of submission & denial where I have "cheated" so I can't really speak about that! :)

    Hope anything I've said helps lol

  2. My wife allows me an orgasm for perfect behavior maybe every 2 months. If my housework has not been done up to her high standards or I have had any poor behavior, a month or months are added. She is very strict. Presently I have been locked in my CB 6000 for just short of 6 months now, all as a punishment . She lives my attitude and behavior after 3 months of being denied. Every morning she unlocks the device, slids off the plastic tube and strokes me until I begin to drip. Then she applies a nice pack and the device goes back on

  3. It happens to women too. Guilt is a powerful emotion.
    But orgasms are so nice....

  4. The male sex drive is an incredibly powerful force. Sex constantly occupies our thoughts and we are surrounded by sexual distractions, an ad on television, a billboard, a music video or a beautiful Women walking down the street. It can be quite maddening.

    That powerful urge unfulfilled or directed somewhere other than towards our own personal Goddess can result in much internal conflict.

    I have to confess to being a life long masturbation addict. Goddess has kept this habit under strict control and given me somewhere to focus all that energy so I'm quite fortunate.

    Before meeting Her though i would masturbate pretty much every day. Sure it can feel amazing to be lost in a world of pleasure and fantasy for hours on end but as you experienced the climax is incredible but the post-orgasmic letdown can be crushing. I have experienced those same feelings of depression and shame afterwards and they can linger. It's like this drive to climax has taken over your soul but having been satisfied just leaves you completely spent and devastated.

    I think this is because its just wasted effort. It created no new life nor did it provide pleasure or service to a Women.

    I think this is one thing that i adore so much about strong, confident Women. They take change and direct our crazy sex drive to a greater purpose. i find that Women are wicked smart about that. They make life worth living.