Saturday, December 21, 2013

Goldilocks Sex: Too much

I have been uncharacteristcally self-reflective lately, for a variety of reasons.  There have been a few threads in chastityforums.com that have peeked my interest specifically about my sexuality, which is complex, contantatly in a state of flux, and frequently contradictory.  Believe me, for an otherwise rational male, this irrationality is tough to accept.

Alas, I conclude that sexual satisfaction for me is a fine line that is difficult to walk.  It's like the tale of goldilocks, where it can't be too hot, can't be too cold, it has to be just right.  With two careers and a family, it's very difficult to get it just right.

Basically, I find that I get depressed with too much or too little sexual activity.  I'll explain too much in this post.

I probably have masturbated more times in this month than the entire year combined.  Yes, that's unheard of for a male turned on by female orgasm control.  My Domme would probably be pretty ticked if she knew I jerked off.

I won't go into why I masturbated, just what the effects were on me.

I was horny and very turned on.  We were not in a position to play sexually, and haven't been for some time.  So, I took matters into my own hands, and had a very powerful ejaculation.  Lots of semen, and a very intense orgasm.  It felt great, except immediately afterwards.

Then I felt like shit.  I didn't feel a lot of guilt around this.  Normally, I would, but we are "on a break" sexually (reference from Ross/Rachel Friends episode, in this case meaning that sex play is simply not in the cards) and I do need some relief periodically (which I intend to describe in my next post).

Rather, I felt depressed and extremely lethargic.  I regretted having this climax, not for the 'normal' reasons, but because I just felt so bad afterwards.

As I have tried to study this a bit, my general understanding is that my brain had a rush of dopamine leading up to and during my orgasm.  It felt good to be erect and titilated and to be sexual, especially during a time when we haven't been sexual at all.  However, upon ejaculation, I think I got a particularly harsh overdose of prolactin, which made me feel extremely un-sexual and lazy.  This was on Thursday, and I am still feeling the effects of this laziness and lethargy.  I should have completed my workout by now, but I am just lounging around now, and will probably rationalize why I shouldn't.  All because I climaxed on Thursday.

Yes, my orgasm has made me depressed.  I have had "too many" orgasms (*sigh*, just one).

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I was inspired to post this by the topic of "are you a better husband when you are denied sex", and "do you regret orgasms" in chastityforums.com.  The answer for me appears to be "yes".  I am more attentive and loving when I am denied orgasm.  But there are certain "rules" that my sexuality imposes about that.  That's the topic of my next post.

I googled this.  It's apparently not that uncommon.  I'm particularly interested if others feel this way, and what about female orgasms?  Does a hint of this happen to women, ever?