Saturday, February 2, 2013

Watching... yourself?

CBT is an integral part of our sex play.  I usually close my eyes, but this time was a little different.
Suzy gave me a terrific CBT handjob Monday night.  There wasn't anything particularly new about what she did, it was just very intense, she did some dirty talking, and I watched some of it.

Let me explain:

Suzy had denied me the last time we played, and I was very horny.  My fantasies were going crazy full blast and I wanted to play very badly over the long weekend.  However, she had some stuff to do for work, and I had been doing a bit of drinking, so I could not stay up - I need my sleep.

Our playtime still started very late and I was tired, and needed to get some sleep for work.  I was naked when she joined me in the bed, and she started playing with my nipples while I caressed her back and arms.  She moved to my cock and it didn't take me long to get an erection.  She then started an intense ball torture session.

The last time we played, Suzy said, "I get more aroused the more you moan".  I asked her: who do you think likes ball torture more, me or you?  She wasn't sure.  I am starting to think she likes it more.  It's "her kink".  But I am more than a willing participant.  Suzy mocks me that when she starts a pain session on my genitals, I instinctually position myself so that it is easier for her to hurt me.  I spread my legs, I move up or down, to facilitate the administration of pain.  And, it clearly turns her on.

She had become more aggressive with my balls.  After I had my vasectomy, she would joke that she didn't need my balls anymore.  At first, that annoyed me (I hadn't acknowledged my submissive nature at the time I was snipped), but now I find it turns me on.  Lately, she will grab my entire scrotum and pull down hard.  It feels like she is trying to castrate me, and she jokes about it with me.  It really does "hurt so good".  Sometimes she passes the threshold of pain where (if it was up to me) I would want her to stop.  However, she doesn't stop, and that makes me feel so dominated by her, that it turns me on more and more.  Suzy has told me that my erection becomes harder during CBT play.

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I don't usually see my own dick in its fully erect state.  If Suzy is stimulating me manually, I am on my back and closing my eyes.  If we are penetrating, most likely, I am mostly erect when I see it and when I insert, I suppose it gets its final hardness.  However, I was curious about this last comment she made.  I moved up to watch her administer CBT on me.  The weird thing: I was really very hard!  Harder than I normally see my cock.  It was erotic to watch her forcefully manipulating my balls, with my very erect cock following along naturally with her swaying motion.

At any rate, the finale was coming up, and Suzy wanted to give me the "pain with the pleasure", which means she strokes my cock and smacks my balls simultaneously.  Normally, she smacks harder and harder, making me want to come to stop the pain.  She had a hard time doing both motions, so she sat up to do it.  Her watching me really turns me on.  I came explosively.  She very sweetly massaged my balls after my climax, and then took out the Hitachi and finished herself off, as I was a mess, literally and figuratively.


  1. It's even better with them tied, as per the photo.


  2. Hi Anon,
    I am a big fan of being tied up. We have under the bed restraints, which make it fairly easy to have me completely helpless, tied up spread-eagled. I have never objected to Suzy wanting to tie me up :-)