Saturday, December 21, 2013

Goldilocks Sex: Too much

I have been uncharacteristcally self-reflective lately, for a variety of reasons.  There have been a few threads in that have peeked my interest specifically about my sexuality, which is complex, contantatly in a state of flux, and frequently contradictory.  Believe me, for an otherwise rational male, this irrationality is tough to accept.

Alas, I conclude that sexual satisfaction for me is a fine line that is difficult to walk.  It's like the tale of goldilocks, where it can't be too hot, can't be too cold, it has to be just right.  With two careers and a family, it's very difficult to get it just right.

Basically, I find that I get depressed with too much or too little sexual activity.  I'll explain too much in this post.

I probably have masturbated more times in this month than the entire year combined.  Yes, that's unheard of for a male turned on by female orgasm control.  My Domme would probably be pretty ticked if she knew I jerked off.

I won't go into why I masturbated, just what the effects were on me.

I was horny and very turned on.  We were not in a position to play sexually, and haven't been for some time.  So, I took matters into my own hands, and had a very powerful ejaculation.  Lots of semen, and a very intense orgasm.  It felt great, except immediately afterwards.

Then I felt like shit.  I didn't feel a lot of guilt around this.  Normally, I would, but we are "on a break" sexually (reference from Ross/Rachel Friends episode, in this case meaning that sex play is simply not in the cards) and I do need some relief periodically (which I intend to describe in my next post).

Rather, I felt depressed and extremely lethargic.  I regretted having this climax, not for the 'normal' reasons, but because I just felt so bad afterwards.

As I have tried to study this a bit, my general understanding is that my brain had a rush of dopamine leading up to and during my orgasm.  It felt good to be erect and titilated and to be sexual, especially during a time when we haven't been sexual at all.  However, upon ejaculation, I think I got a particularly harsh overdose of prolactin, which made me feel extremely un-sexual and lazy.  This was on Thursday, and I am still feeling the effects of this laziness and lethargy.  I should have completed my workout by now, but I am just lounging around now, and will probably rationalize why I shouldn't.  All because I climaxed on Thursday.

Yes, my orgasm has made me depressed.  I have had "too many" orgasms (*sigh*, just one).

*  *  *  *  *

I was inspired to post this by the topic of "are you a better husband when you are denied sex", and "do you regret orgasms" in  The answer for me appears to be "yes".  I am more attentive and loving when I am denied orgasm.  But there are certain "rules" that my sexuality imposes about that.  That's the topic of my next post.

I googled this.  It's apparently not that uncommon.  I'm particularly interested if others feel this way, and what about female orgasms?  Does a hint of this happen to women, ever?

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Cuckold fantasy "pillow talk"

Suzy is denying me again, after two great sessions of ejaculating in her pussy.  We've 'only' had two sessions since then, but she made it clear that she had no intention of letting me come.  My thoughts naturally turn to my more intense fantasies, my biggest of which is for her to enjoy another cock while I watch.

There have been two things that made me think about this even more than normal.  First, our child has a new friend, the parents of which are divorced.  I have met the dad and I know that Suzy has interacted with him on a few occasions.  Suzy said that she has been texting him for pickup times and such things like that.  Perhaps I am reading into things, but the thought of her texting with another male strikes me as somewhat intimate.  Intimate in the sense that it is private between her and who she is texting, whereas with email, we share an account.

I am not one to say whether said divorced man is "handsome" or not.  He was nice, and I would think that a recently divorced man is probably not having a good sex life and therefore would be "available".  He splits weeks with his ex-wife, so there would be a readily available location for play.  He is probably older than we are, which kind of goes against my fantasy of her playing with a young stud.  On the other hand, perhaps he would be vasectomy safe, which would be a big plus.  I have not mentioned the idea of playing with him to Suzy.

My phone was low on batteries last night, so I picked up her phone and started going through her facebook.  She seemed strangely nervous about this.  She regularly checks my phone and I just found out that she had unfriended some people on my facebook account and without telling me about it.  I guess this is another example of our "double standard".  I did notice that she had been exchanging messages with someone we went to college with, a male that I believe she "liked".  They have been trying to get together to see each other.  In that case, however, I was aware that she was contacting him.  I have no problem about that.  The thought of her contacting other men is arousing to me.

After our last session, out of the blue, Suzy said, "maybe it's time to look for a boy toy for me again; we came so close last time we tried".  This was after she had climaxed and it really kind of stunned me.  I told her that I would enjoy that, and the topic kind of stopped there.

*  *  *  *  *
I had recently re-read her blog postings and was struck how much she really, really hates "topping from the bottom".  A significant reason for this blog was for me to share my fantasies with her, but she has basically stopped reading it.  I don't think that purpose was being met.  It seems like if I bring up fantasies to her, it's almost a sure-fire way to ensure what she WON'T do.  So, I am not sure what to do about this. Probably no action is the best action.  If she wants to post an ad looking for a 'boy toy' to play with, I would support her.  However, I don't think that bringing it up will be a good idea.  Sometimes being a sub is tricky and full of contradictions.  Ugh.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Midnight Encounter

Out of nowhere, my Queen re-enacted one of the hottest sexual scenes of our Femdom play - except she let me come this time.

I have been getting over some sort of cold and have needed to sleep a lot more lately, sometimes going to bed as early as 9:30.  Since my Queen will only allow nighttime play, this means our sex life has been in the doldrums.  She stays up quite late, usually doing stuff for work, occasionally watching her "chick flick" type shows.  On one such night, I went to bed and she woke me up for sex.

She stimulated my cock and nipples which roused me from my slumber.  I became erect and was enjoying it, although I was a little bit paralyzed still, perhaps only stroking her back.  She took my shorts off, which really excited me.  Then she climbed on top and inserted my cock in her sweet pussy.  The first few moments are amazing, when her pussy juices begin coating my cock to allow for the deeper, more intense penetration to come.  Wow.

She was quite turned on.  She was panty-less but wearing her top (she's one of those women who are "always cold"), so I could not see her breasts.  Of course, I was fully nude.  I could tell she was getting quite close to orgasm, which was exciting me more and more.  She orgasmed intensely and then collapsed onto my chest, breathing heavily from her exertion.  She told me how intense her orgasm was, and said that she was a little nervous I wasn't going to last long enough for her to come, and she was happy I did.

The last time she did this, she laughed at me and told me that she didn't want me to come, and giggled that she was going to fall fast asleep and it would be tough for me to do so.  This time, I asked her if I could come, and she yes, get a towel to hold the mess.  I climbed on top of her and came very quickly.  We both fell asleep quickly, spooning each other lovingly.

*  *  *  *  *
As is often the case with our relationship, we have not discussed this midnight encounter since it happened.  In the morning she kind of winked at me and told me she had a good time.  I went out of my way to make sure I made her breakfast and texted her during the day.  A criticism she has of me when I come is that I don't do that.

Waking me up for sex has so many elements that turn me on:

  • The role reversal: it seems much more common for a husband to have "sex on demand" like I described above
  • CFNM: It turns me on to no end that my wife took my clothes off.  It's assertive, she wants her man naked to play with his organ for her pleasure.  A very erotic experience, because....
  • Confidence: a confident woman is a sexy woman.  I like it when she communicates what she just takes what she wants in a bold manner.  Woman-initiated sex is rare in our household, but always awesome.
  • It's her fetish: she has told me before that waking me up for sex turns her on.  She can't quite explain it, she just enjoys it.
  • Woman on top/Cowgirl sex is just the best.  When she comes from my dick alone, I feel empowered and virile.  It bruised my ego a little bit when she told me she was worried I was going to come before her.  The reality is, I have quite a bit of sexual endurance when she is on top.  The only time I have come prematurely was when we first started with nipple play.  She was riding my cock and twisting my nipples.  It really turned me on and I came before her.
  • The focus was on her orgasm.  As it should be.  It was nice that she let me come, but really the goal of this play was her orgasm.

Friday, October 18, 2013

When a vanilla sex act is kinky

Our last sexual experience involved an application of the vibrator to her pussy and a handjob for me.  Sounds pretty "vanilla" for a femdom couple, right?

The session began, like most playtimes, with me caressing her body, especially her chest and back.  She matter of factly told me she had started her period, and that I wasn't to touch her "down south".  In some cases, she sort of "tolerates" my advances and allows me to proceed until she gets more aroused.  In this case, she gave me a lot of nonverbal cues that she wanted to be pleasured.  Yay for us!

In any event, I worked the Hitachi Magic Wand through her pad and she had a lovely climax.  It is great to see my Queen come in any cases, but when she is horny it adds just a little bit more of a spice to the big event.  Following her post orgasmic bliss, I still caressed her boobs and then she laid on my chest and began stroking me through my shorts, which I removed.

Much to my delight, she kept going and I was getting very aroused.  In my head, I was wondering if she was going to tease me or let me come.  That's what inspired this post, the "will she or won't she" aspect of it.  When you have a clear understanding that the male partner's orgasms are completely up to the dominant woman's you just never know.  As my pleasure was mounting, I kept wondering more and more, will she let me come?  Again, this was all nonverbal.  I know better than to ask, because that would be "topping from the bottom".

Alas, she did stroke me to orgasm.  It was a straight handjob, no ball smacking or any real kink involved.  It was great.  She very lovingly caressed my balls as I was coming down from my climax.  Lovely.

*  *  *  *  *
Unfortunately, our alone time since this session has been nonexistent.  But we did some significant cuddling this morning, and this physical affection has often been a precursor to some play time.  Hoping that's the case tonight.  We shall see.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Chastity record broken, "Needy" submissives

My Domme extended my chastity record to a full month.  She allowed me to orgasm in her pussy on September 30.  Pardon the pun, but it was a bit anti-climactic.  She felt I was being too "needy" and I think she just didn't want to deal with my longing for physical intimacy.  I wonder if other denied men face the same challenge.

During this period, we had 7 sessions and she had 7 orgasms.  She expertly teased me during this time and we had an especially nice dominance/submission session on Sept. 14.  She woke me up and ran ice all over my body.  My Queen seems to really enjoy waking me up for sex play, which is something that turns her on.  The ice was particularly fun because I really couldn't tell what it was at first.  Yes it was cold, but most liquids feel cold when applied to the body (and you have to remember that I had just woken up and was a little disoriented).  I actually told her later that I thought it was some sort of lubrication.

I was on my hands and knees with my ass up.  This is an extremely submissive posture and acts to further push me into "sub-space".  Following the ice play, she used a crop and the whip on me.  Not knowing what's going to happen to me really amps up the experience.  Suzy was particularly playful and creative and really seemed to be "into" this playtime.  This was one of the better sessions we've had.  Even though it was great all around, I have lately been thinking about how awesome it felt for her to tease my ass with the crop.  I am really hoping that we can resume some form of anal play ~ I am craving it more and more.

*  *  *  *  *
This denial period was pretty fun for both of us.  I felt compelled to serve her, especially for the few days after a play session.  I bought her Starbucks on a few occasions.  I felt compelled to do so, like I had no choice.  This is exactly why Suzy likes to deny me orgasm.  My horniness translates into "courtship behavior" and she likes it... a lot.  She teased me that I might not come at all.  She seemed to really enjoy controlling my cock and she was very intent on making my period of chastity lengthy.

But I do understand why Suzy felt like I was needy.  I was in full-on "courtship behavior" a few days after a session, but if it went longer than that, I started to get antsy.  She is busy with her career and kids and even though she loves to orgasm, she just doesn't want it that often, whereas when I am denied, I crave sex play.  I have said this on my blog before, but I really do become depressed if I don't attain a satisfying erection.  A few days before I finally released, she got fed up with me and said, "why don't you go lock up?".  I turned it down.  I know that seems like heresy, but she clearly said it out of exasperation.  She seemed slightly annoyed at first, but then kind of dropped it.

We had a fun session a couple of days after, but really haven't played at all since.  We had some spats and "life has gotten in the way".  I am, once again, craving an erection.  Not necessarily an orgasm, but an erection.  Followed by at least one of us climaxing.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Female Orgasm Supremacy: orgasm disparity more pronounced than I thought

My domme is doing an excellent job in teasing me and I am over the top horny all the time.  In my extreme horny state, I have been researching more about orgasms (I do miss them....).  I came across this video, which I thought was very interesting:

I sent the link to Suzy but she hasn't checked it out yet.  What interested me is the comparison between male and female orgasms at 1:09.  It says that a male orgasm lasts 3-10 seconds and then they have a refractory period where it is impossible to have sex for minutes (I assume that's for young bucks) to hours.  The female has an orgasm of 20+ (note the plus!) seconds without a refractory period.  So, on average female orgasms are three times longer then male orgasms.

In addition to the disparity of the number of orgasms Suzy enjoys, hers are also of much longer duration.  So if you factor in our long term female to male orgasm ratio of about 3 1/3 to 1, and orgasm duration that is 3 times longer than mine, that means that she has about ten-fold more total orgasm enjoyment than I.  And, qualitatively, her orgasms in general are more intense than mine.

*  *  *  *  *

I am enjoying riding this femdom wave.  It's fun to play with sex being focused on the woman's pleasure.  As I stated in my last post, I am internally conflicted as to whether I want to come or keep going with the flow.  If Suzy were to ask, I would definitely say that I want to orgasm.  However, I am really enjoying NOT being asked, and leaving it totally up to her as far as when she wants me to be released.

In spite of my sexual frustration, I love the feeling of intimacy and closeness we share.  I am still digging into this more, but it seems as if the flood of oxytocin in my brain is enabling or making me want to 'court' her.  After our sex play is over, and into the morning, we cuddle with an intensity we've never really felt before.  I am a happy, if frustrated, submissive husband.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Orgasm Denial Angst

I realize it's been a long hiatus since I last posted.  There are many reasons for this, that I perhaps may share at a subsequent post.  Even though I haven't blogged, we have continued to explore female dominant sex play.  I suppose it comes and goes, but my Domme Wife has done some amazingly kinky things, which makes me very grateful.  It has affirmed (as if I needed this) that I am a true submissive and long to satisfy her sexually and have her in control of my sexuality.

Take our play session last night.  I was very horny, and was thinking of sex all day (isn't that what 3 day weekends are for?).  We had one session of sex since her period was over just a few days before, and I was really lusting after her.  To amp up my desire even more, the prior night we had a fun date night (she described it as "creative") but we were both very tired when we got home, and didn't have sex.  But we were all over each other cuddling the entire night and morning.

I texted her that I wanted some kinky sex, so she knew what was on the agenda.  As bedtime approached, I discretely shaved my face and chest and put on a tight pair of thongs.  One thing I have noticed lately is that the actual prepping for sex turns me on quite a bit.

We did a lot of groping and kissing, and I began sucking her left nipple.  I could tell it was turning her on, and starting touching her crotch (no panties!). I got on top of her in a 69-ish position to prep her and I was really turned on by going down on her.  I switched positions into a 'normal' cunnilingus position with her on top and me on my stomach, between her legs.  She really gave me a lot of good nonverbal feedback, and - for whatever reason - I could do no wrong going down on her that night.  She was moaning, arching her back and hips ~ it was fantastic, and I knew she was going to come.  And she did.

When she comes from my tongue, I feel virile and on top of the world.  She "came down" from her climax, and I was hoping to get into her pussy.  She said no.  I tried to ask if I could just get a handjob or at least dip into it and she was clear that she wanted me to be all over her the next day, so no orgasm for me.  I got the impression that an orgasm today is not a sure thing either, so I am not taking it for granted.

*  *  *  *  *

So, the angst?  I really, really wanted to fuck her last night, but she turned it down.  Why?  She does prefer me horny.  Because she can.  The angst I feel is illogical to me: I am frustrated that I didn't get to enter her, but highly turned on that she dominated me.  Positioning myself between her beautiful pussy and getting her to the 'promised land' is just about the most satisfying sexual act I can do.  The contrast between my love of cunnilingus (although I do admit, I am not always successful with it, but I still enjoy it) and the fact that she rarely gives me blow jobs anymore.  The contrast that I was the one horny and she was the one who experienced the climax.  It really hit my submissive 'buttons'.  I am a happy sub.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Orgasm Denial Play Resumes

I haven't had a lot of time to blog lately, nor read very many other blogs.  A quick recap:

I disappointed Suzy during my period of male chastity device lockup.  She said that I should masturbate, which I did, to get my head cleared up.  I will let my orgasm tracker page speak for itself, but there had basically been a long time since I had experienced a truly satisfying orgasm.  My time with myself was no exception, it was not that pleasurable, maybe a 3-4 on a scale of 10.  But I did experience relief enough to the point that I could focus more on my job instead of sex.

Not much had happened since then.  I had a business trip and Suzy went on her period during the time I was gone.  She gave me a handjob after I got back (our absence had made both our hearts fonder for one another, but she was still on her period), she came with the Hitachi through her pad.  What was noteworthy about the handjob was that after a while, Suzy went back to ball torture.  It seemed like she felt I wasn't going to come very quickly, and decided to speed things up by giving me that added stimulation.  What was somewhat amusing about this, was that she was slapping my scrotum like a metronome, at very regular intervals.  I came pretty hard, probably a 7-8.  I figured that the added stimulation of the ball slaps increased the intensity of my orgasm by 2-3 'points'.

As I was groping her during bedtime a few days later, I realized her period was over, and I think the next day, we had a 'quickie' sex - not much foreplay, I didn't last that long insider her, but it was still a decent '6' orgasm.  One of the joys of sex for me - feeling that my partner doesn't have that bulge in her crotch, but it's smooth and sexy and feminine.
Before we go on our trip, we will have a day without kids.  During our pillow talk, Suzy mentioned that I might need to be naked, except for maybe an apron that day.  My CFNM fetish will be going wild!
We went on a day trip yesterday, and I could sense she would be up for some sex play.  She stayed up quite late working on our next outing, and then we got to some playing.  She surprised me.  I figured we'd have some more extended intercourse, with some foreplay, and longer endurance from me, since it hadn't been that long since I had orgasmed.  She then made it clear that she did not want me to come and did not want me to penetrate her.  I accepted this, and uttered a bunch of horny dirty talk to her.  I poked her with my erection (which felt really good), and then she didn't take much persuading to allow a quick vibrator orgasm.  She then teased me a bit, being rather aggressive with a nipple, and talked about her plan for our trip.

*  *  *  *  *

It doesn't seem that I will be coming until we go on our 'mini honeymoon'.  We will be without the kids for the first time in ever.  During this trip, we will get out some of the toys we bought via mail order.  She made it clear that intense ball torture would occur.  She suggested locking me up in chastity leading up to the trip, even specifically calling out the Birdlock by name.  In my horny dirty talk rage, I mentioned that I would like to play with the male chastity device more.  Sometimes I feel like I will regret what I say when I am really horny like that.  At any rate, I told her my high level thoughts on the device, that I don't particularly like to be locked up during the workweek, and that I would enjoy a weekend of chastity whereby Friday night I might be locked, and if she doesn't want me to orgasm, she simply keeps me locked through Monday morning, and then unlocks before work.  Perhaps I should expand on this a bit more, but I can tell this post is getting long winded.  So that's all for now.  We closed our play time with her agreeing that she likes 'sex for the wife's pleasure' and that we would probably be using a lot of toys on our trip.  Can't wait :-)

Suzy alluded to the fact that we will be bringing some toys on our trip, and some of them would be causing me pain.  Make it hurt so good, sexy goddess!!!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Lockup Fail

This sucks
Unfortunately, things in our relationship went sharply downhill.  It was a big fail.  I can't go into the details, but it did not have anything to do with our attempt at a "female led marriage", or "sex is for the woman's pleasure" bedroom times.  I did not "take matters into my own hands" or betray her trust.  But I did disappoint her, and for that I am sorry.  I didn't meet her expectations.

And unfortunately, we don't fight very well.  As our peers were getting married, I had heard someone joking at a wedding reception that wise marriage advice was: "keep the fights clean and the sex dirty".  I agree with this advice, we have had some pretty dirty (kinky) sex lately, but we don't fight that well.
"Keep the sex dirty and the fights clean"

It's in my makeup to get over things fairly quickly.  Even when she is "in the wrong", I can put things behind me fairly quickly.  She cannot.  So, her expectations were not met, she confronted me about it, and I didn't fight cleanly.  I have been miserable ever since.

Instead, my prior week's lockup period ended horribly un-erotically.  She basically threw the key to my chastity device at me and said, "I don't want your thing locked up forever", or something like that.  Then, not knowing the full extent to her disappointment, I tried to be amorous with her on a subsequent night, my poor cock poking at her, and she basically said, "I think you should masturbate".
We didn't have a lot of teasing with her holding the keys to my chastity device.
I did.  I had so much pent up horniness that I needed to relieve the pressure.  But it wasn't that pleasurable.  It did help me focus on the job, anyway.

So, I am not sure what lies ahead of us in the short term.  My wife is the type of person that has to have everything just right in her world in order to feel sexual.  I don't see that happening anytime soon.  I certainly do have a lot of sexual thoughts to blog about.  I remain horny and excited by our femdom sex play.  I hope it returns soon!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Chastity Angst

I feel like a love-sick teenager.  I am kinda grumpy because I miss my Queen so much.  We have been apart since Tuesday and have had limited time to talk and text.  I thought I would have more time to blog and such, but keeping the fort up and running while working has been trying.  I will see my Queen sometime this afternoon, which I am greatly looking forward to, but still have some anxiety over our reuninon.  What makes me  anxious?

It's hard for me not to think that I have (or will) let her down.  I am so excited about being so horny and seeing her that I am nervous I will do or say something stupid, letting my horniness get the worst of me, if you will.

I have been thinking about "topping from the bottom" lately.  I feel like I have been "good" in that regard, and that could be a reason why Suzy has been more dominant lately.  There have been some concrete times where I have wanted to "suggest" things for her but have kept my mouth shut.  I have told her how horny I am and how much I crave release, but I have been better about not begging for it, and just letting her direct the sex play.  It feels very good to give up control to her.

A good example of this was when we received our package of sex toys.  I wanted to open the box and check them out, but i figured it would be better to ask her.  She said she did not want me to open it, and so I did not.  I am really excited about the toys we bought, they are a little more "advanced" than the normal sex toy variety, and I've been thinking about how hot it might be to either open them together as a femdom couple or simply letting her review them and decide what she wants to do.  Again, I am a little scared I will screw this up.

I am super horny because:
  • Suzy has denied me her pussy for over a month (I've asked to penetrate her, just to get my cock soaked in her juices but she rejected that), I have been without a "good" orgasm for around 20 days or so, and my last "orgasm" was really a let down (not sure why that was, but my worst orgasm is still better than my best day at work, lol).  Suzy is on her period, so there is no chance I will get to penetrate.
  • I have been locked in the chastity device since Tuesday.  This has helped me to some extent.  As I've written about before, I tend to get a little grumpy/depressed when I don't have a nice erection.  Being locked is the ant-erection, but since my Queen snapped the lock shut herself, I do have some lingering feelings of submission to her over my imprisoned state.  I think I'm trying to say that it was a good choice to lock up.
  • We have been physically separated for a long time.   This makes us desire each other more.

This all leads to a lot of "anticipation".  Suzy does NOT like it when I have expectations.  I am therefore trying not to have any, or at least, trying not to verbalize them to her.

If she asked me if I want to come, the answer is "yes".  But I would be lying if I didn't say that her pushing my denial period out would also be exciting.  I think what I am ultimately feeling is that I am better off not topping from the bottom, and letting her determine what happens.  

Sorry for the ramble, and I did not proof read this post.  Have to go to a kid event and I am even more anxious as to whether there will be suitable bathrooms :(


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Wartenberg Wheel, Chastity lockup, Anticipation

Suzy made a special request to get the Wartenberg wheel out for our next session.  I was a bit nervous about finding it, but fortunately I did and it was ready for her use on me.  What an intense tease and denial session!

First of all, I love it when my wife "has a plan" for our sessions.  Definite turn on for me.  I'll be honest I don't remember the sequence of events for this session, but I do remember that she didn't spend a lot of time stimulating my cock.  It was mainly teasing with the wheel and cock and ball torture.  She really used the wheel to its maximum use.  The great thing about the wheel is that it can provide a very light "tickling" kind of sensation and if she increases the pressure just a tad, it can really wake your senses with the pain.  Suzy expertly alternated this on different parts of my body.  She used it everywhere from my arms, nipples, groin area, genitals, and I think even my feet.  But what was really intense was when she stimulated my anal area.  She used the lighter touch on that, and it really was intensely pleasurable.  I hope to revisit this again.  Another thing that I really enjoyed about Suzy's teasing session is that she was very assertive in saying that she was done teasing me and it was then time for her orgasm.  We used the Hitachi wand, she had an amazing orgasm and we went to bed, my erection poking her in our spooning position.
Wartenberg Wheel
I highly recommend the Wartenberg wheel.  We have spent a fair amount of money on sex toys, and you get a lot of bang for your buck with it ~it's only $8 or so. 
*  *  *  *  *


Every sub needs a shave
My pubic hair had gotten unwieldy.  I asked Suzy is she wanted me to trim or shave.  She wanted my pubes shaved.  "As you wish".
We had a planned male chastity lockup period, since my wife will be out of town on business.  Suzy prefers me to be on the "honor system" but is cool with me being locked when we are apart.  I haven't been locked up in a while, so I was looking forward to this kinky play.  It turned me on how she mentioned the lockup period to me several times during the week.  She was teasing me about being locked up!  What a sexy, dominant wife! 

We finally got a little privacy and I thought I would just go for it.  I was thinking it would be nice to (attempt) to put it on while she watched me, but she was obviously distracted at preparing for her trip, so I just discretely put the device on and approached her so she could snap the lock shut.  Suzy was still in her work clothes and I was naked except for the Birdlock chastity device.  She looked at me with loving eyes, teased me with the lock a little bit, and then snapped it shut.  She said she would "find a good place for the key".  When we lock my cock, we normally seal the deal with an orgasm for her.  She wasn't in the mood due to her impending period, so we just went to bed.  It was hard for me to sleep ;-)

Our plane for the sex camp leaves in an hour.  We’ll leave the key here at home so we don’t lose it, don’t you agree?
Having my keyholder snap the lock is always an intensely erotic experience.  It says to me: I want complete control of this cock!

*  *  *  *  *

Speaking of toys, we have a few toys on order.  I am thinking of posting some sex toy product reviews, so perhaps these new toys will be the first.  One of them is specifically designed for ball torture.  When I was ordering the "main toy", I thought I would throw this one in there.  Suzy at first seemed squeemish about using it on me, but then we both agreed it would be fun to try.  Suzy told me that when she was driving home, she was thinking about using it on me.  What a woman!  She was nervous, and now she is excited about it.  I anticipate that it will cause me pain and I anticipate that we will enjoy it.  I like it when she has a plan.

An important part of male chastity play (for me) is for her to tease me with the key.  It demonstrates control and a lack of uncertainty as to when the key will be used to unlock me.  The key is both symbolic and literal of her control over my body.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Femdom sex, male chastity belt lockups, and oxytocin

Suzy continues to enjoy the control of our sex life.  We both had a hard week (work-wise) and she went to bed early on Friday.  I was really looking forward to a well-rested dominant Suzy for our sex play Saturday night.  I was not disappointed.

I wore my breakaway thong and we cuddled and I thrust into her a bit.  She enjoys my erections poking against her.  Because I was so horny, I was dripping a lot of pre-cum, so it was a good thing it was captured into my loin cloth.  I only wear thongs leading into sex play, but it does make me *feel* sexy, both from a slightly naughty standpoint and I actually enjoy the feel of the fabric up up my ass.

We did a lot of talking, and she turned to me and asked "when are you going to lock up?".  I asked if she wanted to lock me in the chastity device last night, but she said no, she wanted to play with my erection.  I will be locked up Tuesday night (I assume we will follow our traditional locking ceremony where she clicks the lock and then she orgasms - I wanted to ask her if we could spice it up a bit by taking some pictures so I could post it on my blog).  For those newer to my blog, I have a CB-6000 and a Birdlock chastity device, but Suzy's preference currently is that I am on the "honor system" when we are together but she enjoys me being locked when we are apart.  As I mentioned in my last post, Suzy has an upcoming trip for work, and as a result, wants me to be locked starting Tuesday night.  It sounds like I won't see her until Sunday.
Locking him up
A keyholder snapping the lock shut.  For us, a female orgasm always follows as part of our male chastity locking ritual.  I am hoping that Suzy will allow this to be photographed, to satisfy my exhibitionist cravings.  We shall see.
It has been a while since she has directed me to use the chastity belt.  I am looking forward to it.  When we are together and she wants me to be chaste, I know that if I did masturbate, she would notice a change in my behavior and would directly ask me if masturbated.  Because she won't be here to acknowledge my sexuality (e.g., to tease and deny me), I would be very tempted to jerk off.  I could "get away with it" because I would have several days to recover my sexual energy and be horny again for her return.  Thus, I agree with her, it is best for me to be locked up.  Aside from all that, it is a kinky thing, to submit to having your cock locked by your dominant partner, and I find it very hot that she alone has the key.  She is nervous and wants me to have a spare key in case of emergency (I actually don't know if we have both keys).  Related to my last post, I find it very hot that she can masturbate at her hotel room if she likes.  This "double standard" is very exciting to me.

Being locked is not going to be without its challenges.  Peeing and general hygiene is difficult for me, and I haven't been locked at the new gym, which has less privacy than my old one.
Suzy has made female domination an art form.
After this, Suzy matter-of-factly stated that she needed to orgasm.  I used the Hitachi Magic Wand on her while she squeezed my balls.  Her orgasm was FANTASTIC.  Definitely more than enough for the both of us.  Not kidding, I think it lasted 15-20 seconds or so.  Wow.  We caressed for a while and I could tell she was getting tired.  She complimented me on my freshly shaved chest (it really drives me wild when she talks about my body) and then went on to tease and deny me.  I am running long on this post, so I will be succinct here and just say that she focused on my balls and edged me for some time ~ my guess is that I was 80% to an orgasm for a good 15 minutes.  Just to be clear, I did not orgasm.  It has been about a week and a half since my last orgasm (even though it was not a great one) and I haven't penetrated her for over three weeks.

Love my wheel! ♥
Suzy told me after our sex play that she wanted to use "the wheel" on me next time. 

*  *  *  *  *
Even though we haven't had a lot of time for extended sex play such as what happened Saturday night, we have been cuddling and snuggling a lot lately.  More than normal.  I believe that such embracing behavior stimulates the secretion of oxytocin.  When I was in school, oxytocin's claim to fame was related to maternal behaviors (pair bonding between mother and newborn and initiation of lactation).  There seems to be a lot of research into oxytocin's role as a "cuddle hormone" in bonding between sexual partners.  I have read that just about any touch, but especially an embracing type of touch, stimulates the release of the body's cuddle drug.  If that is the case, we must be flooded with it.  I feel very close to Suzy right now, perhaps because of this oxytocin, but I think also having to do with her acceptance (and even enthusiasm) of our kinky sex play.  We are having fun, and bonding in the process.  I have to run to work out, and perhaps I will explore this further in subsequent posts.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Suzy's Hall Pass

The sex comedy "Hall Pass" revolved around the husband's fantasy of having a week without marital obligations.
I have made a few posts about my desire to try cuckolding.  That is, I would like to watch Suzy play with another male sexually.  This is not something that should be taken lightly, and I realize that once an extramarital partner makes an appearance into our bedchamber, it can't really be undone.  However, this is a very strong fantasy of mine.

I recently watched the movie "Hall Pass".  The premise is two 40something married men get their wives' permission for one week to play the field, or "take a break" from their marriage.  They would then come back happily to their wives and then married life resumes.

The dudes no longer "have it".  It is one failure after another, and it is comically embarrassing how inept they are with the ladies.  When the rubber hits the road, one of the wives actually does have sex with another man.  One of the husbands finally gets the chance to do it with a young Australian barista, but declines.

It is a highly sexual movie.  There are some good bits of crude humor.

Suzy has a "hall pass".  She knows that if she had another sex partner, I would be very turned on.  The thing is, I really want to watch.  It seems like a threesome, a male-female-male threesome is a possibility.

Three times, she has posted an ad on Craigslist for a possible male "playmate".  What seems to turn us both on is a "boy toy", someone significantly younger than me that has no strings attached sex play.  I can't help but feel that the numerous replies Suzy has received from her posts have tickled her ego... a lot.  We came close to meeting a guy for drinks, to see if there was some chemistry.  She now has a "suitor" that she seems to like, and it is possible that we might meet him to "kick the tires".

The reality is that this has got me very excited.  I don't think Suzy understand the extent of my excitement, particularly when I am being denied orgasm.

Part of the appeal to me is the "double standard".  Suzy would literally cut my balls off if I had any sexual contact with another woman.  She has been very clear about that, since before we were married.  I think that she moves that standard to me.  I don't think I am a jealous person.  And it's not cheating if I am there watching, or if I know/hear about it.  Suzy has a hall pass.  I just don't want her to lie to me and do it behind my back.

Suzy has a rare business trip coming up, in a few weeks.  She teased me that she would meet her boy toy at her hotel.  I was rather turned on by this tease.  The reality is, she really could make arrangements to meet him there.  And I really would be turned on if she did.  I have been thinking about this, maybe more than I should.  I almost want her to come back and tell me she "met someone" and "had a very satisfying trip".  I would of course want to know the details.  I would prefer to watch the action, but with our family, things can't always happen that way.  I have fantasized about slipping some condoms in her luggage and telling her to "play safe'.

I am sure as the date of this trip comes closer, I will fantasize more.

Will she take advantage of the hall pass?  On her trip, or the boy toy she has been corresponding with?  I don't know.  But, she has a hall pass.  I just want her to tell me the juicy details.  Even if she chooses not to get physical, it may be fun to role play, acting as if she did to judge my reactions.

*  *  *  *  *
I wrote this a few weeks ago, when I found out about her business trip.  Friday night I had a dream that Suzy locked me in chastity during her trip.  It's been a while since I've been locked, but one of her prior criteria for using the device was when we are apart, which we will be for several days when she is gone.  I brought up my dream and Suzy seemed intrigued by the idea of a lockup.  Then, my mind started wandering some, and I thought in addition to packing her condoms "just in case", it would be hot for her to take a vibrator with her.  After all, some of the hotels have very weak showers, and when a girl needs an orgasm, she needs an orgasm.  Her having such sexual freedom (to play with a boy toy, or masturbate) and my possible enforced chastity is a double standard that really turns me on.

Suzy denied me sexual relief two straight sessions.  I am very horny, and thinking about this scenario more and more.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Watching... yourself?

CBT is an integral part of our sex play.  I usually close my eyes, but this time was a little different.
Suzy gave me a terrific CBT handjob Monday night.  There wasn't anything particularly new about what she did, it was just very intense, she did some dirty talking, and I watched some of it.

Let me explain:

Suzy had denied me the last time we played, and I was very horny.  My fantasies were going crazy full blast and I wanted to play very badly over the long weekend.  However, she had some stuff to do for work, and I had been doing a bit of drinking, so I could not stay up - I need my sleep.

Our playtime still started very late and I was tired, and needed to get some sleep for work.  I was naked when she joined me in the bed, and she started playing with my nipples while I caressed her back and arms.  She moved to my cock and it didn't take me long to get an erection.  She then started an intense ball torture session.

The last time we played, Suzy said, "I get more aroused the more you moan".  I asked her: who do you think likes ball torture more, me or you?  She wasn't sure.  I am starting to think she likes it more.  It's "her kink".  But I am more than a willing participant.  Suzy mocks me that when she starts a pain session on my genitals, I instinctually position myself so that it is easier for her to hurt me.  I spread my legs, I move up or down, to facilitate the administration of pain.  And, it clearly turns her on.

She had become more aggressive with my balls.  After I had my vasectomy, she would joke that she didn't need my balls anymore.  At first, that annoyed me (I hadn't acknowledged my submissive nature at the time I was snipped), but now I find it turns me on.  Lately, she will grab my entire scrotum and pull down hard.  It feels like she is trying to castrate me, and she jokes about it with me.  It really does "hurt so good".  Sometimes she passes the threshold of pain where (if it was up to me) I would want her to stop.  However, she doesn't stop, and that makes me feel so dominated by her, that it turns me on more and more.  Suzy has told me that my erection becomes harder during CBT play.

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I don't usually see my own dick in its fully erect state.  If Suzy is stimulating me manually, I am on my back and closing my eyes.  If we are penetrating, most likely, I am mostly erect when I see it and when I insert, I suppose it gets its final hardness.  However, I was curious about this last comment she made.  I moved up to watch her administer CBT on me.  The weird thing: I was really very hard!  Harder than I normally see my cock.  It was erotic to watch her forcefully manipulating my balls, with my very erect cock following along naturally with her swaying motion.

At any rate, the finale was coming up, and Suzy wanted to give me the "pain with the pleasure", which means she strokes my cock and smacks my balls simultaneously.  Normally, she smacks harder and harder, making me want to come to stop the pain.  She had a hard time doing both motions, so she sat up to do it.  Her watching me really turns me on.  I came explosively.  She very sweetly massaged my balls after my climax, and then took out the Hitachi and finished herself off, as I was a mess, literally and figuratively.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Condom domination

Condoms: they're not just for birth control anymore
I'll be honest, there are sometimes when I post something that somewhat frightens me as far as what my Queen Suzy will do with it.  This is one such post, and I am nervous about it because of the "be careful what you wish for" aspect of it.  But a primary driver of my blog is to share my deepest sexual fantasies with her.  She is in control of my cock, so she can do what she wants with my kinky desires.

Here goes:

I have been fantasizing about Suzy forcing me to wear a condom, as an alternative or complement to denial.  Basically, she denies me from having "bareback" sex with her for some time, making me really crazy with desire for getting her juices on my cock.

This has nothing to do with birth control.  I was snipped several years ago, and it was a great decision for both of us.  No regrets.  My Queen actually watched the procedure happen, she was right there in the room and she seems to have been grateful that she was there; she has even bragged about it to her friends (not sure how that's been brought up, but I am pretty sure she has told this story to many of her girlfriends).
I'm glad Queen Suzy was there to make sure the procedure went as planned.
It is mildly humiliating (in a good way) to know that Suzy has discussed my little procedure wither her friends.
We do on occasion wrap my cock, mainly when we are traveling and for one reason or another can't afford to make a big mess.  Years ago, we had sex in our van parked in a neighborhood, and we couldn't afford to get my baby batter somewhere we couldn't clean up.  We've had sex at parents' homes, usually with my dick wrapped up.  Sometimes when she is not comfortable that her period is done, she will ask me to put one on (she is worried about the mess to my cock with residual blood).  I always take a condom or two in my suitcase when we travel.

We did have sex a bit before we were married, but always with a condom.  Suzy was not on birth control then, so it was for contraception.  Our wedding night was the first time I had ever gone bareback in a woman.  It was very special.  As my college roommate said, "pussy has evolved for thousands of years to make cock feel as good as possible".  I agree.  I still remember how exciting it was to stick it into her warm, wet pussy, skin on skin.  And that has never gotten old.  I generally read health related articles that relate to sex, and I found this study to be pretty interesting.  Semen has been shown to have an antidepressant effect in women!  That's my kind of medicine!

Looking back on it now, she denied me from her pussy by forcing the use of condoms.  This reminds me of how she used to tease me before we began having sex, which was to frequently touch my skin just above my cock, moving from side to side and only occasionally brushing my erection (wow, in those days, my cock was always hard).  Even though I had not recognized my submissive desires, these two teases did in fact make me really horny.

Why am I thinking of this now?  Why is this erotic to me?

  • Forcing me to wear a rubber would be a dominant act, and my submissive mind would view it as another way to control her cock.
  • Due to the reduced sensitivity, I would be able to last longer during vaginal penetration
  • There would be no mess for her to deal with.  Suzy and I aren't on the same page with regard to body fluids.  This warrants its own post (one that I have been contemplating for a while) but suffice it to say I think our body fluids are sexy and she doesn't.
  • It would be slightly humiliating to me to have two forms of birth control: my vasectomy and a rubber

Further to those points, it would be hot if she "dirty talked" about these points.  Something along the lines of "I need your cock wrapped up so you can last longer"; "I don't want your filthy mess going in my pussy; I don't know where that thing has been"; "I want you wrapped up just to reduce your pleasure".  Things like that.  It would be hot for her to put it on me, without asking and just having to grin and bear it.  Or, forcing me to wrap up myself.

*  *  *  *  *

Humph.  Well, I wonder what type of feedback she will give me on this.  Like I said, I feel a bit excited but a bit scared.  I love sticking my cock in her pussy, and getting those female juices on my manhood.  I was thinking in my last denial period that I came very close to going through her entire menstrual cycle without inserting my cock in her.  During denial periods, she has let me penetrate her, I suppose just as a way to taste what I am missing.  But not the last one, she was adamant until she decided to release me.  This could be another teasing weapon in her dominant female arsenal. 

Even though this is something I fantasize about, I also don't want Suzy to develop depression.  There's plenty of my man medicine to cure her of her blues!

"Hang on a second... I want you to last longer and I don't want a big mess in my pussy."

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Being Her Plaything

Suzy seems to enjoy watching my reactions to her dominance.  I sometimes feel like I am her plaything.  I like this... a lot!
My release was followed by another session of intercourse.  These two sessions were wonderful.  After that, Suzy and I needed to have an intimate connection and we communicated that it was going to happen.

We started with the usual foreplay, groping one another's bodies.  She then moved to my genitals and got me very well ready to go.  Suzy directed the session entirely. It seemed like it was one of the sessions where she was going to give me a handjob and then we would go to bed.  But she had a twist in mind.  She seemed to have finished with the ball torture, and was moving towards stimulating me to orgasm.  But the twist was: instead of stroking my shaft up and down, she moved the stimulation exclusively to the head of my cock.

From time to time, she has stimulated my head and seems amused at my involuntary reactions, the slight twitches.  But the entire finale was this type of stimulation.  I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the physical and psychological sensations that I was going through.  She asked me how it was feeling and I think I said something like "interesting".  She seemed to have this giddy fascination with what she was doing.  I think she just wanted to see my reactions to this, and I don't think my feedback would have mattered at all.  She wanted to do this intense cock head stimulation for her amusement.  Only afterwards, did I find some words to describe the sensation.

I came and the orgasm was intense.  I think the psychological element was the key.  Even though I was having a hard time with the intensity of the stimulation, I was very turned on by her dominance, the agenda she had, and how much she seemed to enjoy toying with my body, and being a keen observer of my reactions.  I was her plaything, and it felt great!

After I was trying to put myself together, Suzy said that she wasn't that interested before, but watching my reactions turned her on so much that she changed her mind and wanted to come.  She took the vibrator and guided herself to a strong climax (it is relatively unusual for her to use the vibrator on herself, but I think she realized I was a mess, literally and figuratively and would likely not get things sorted out fast enough for her).

*  *  *  *  *
I can't say that her stimulation was painful or I didn't like it.  It was just so intense.  Too intense.  After a few days, I think I can draw a parallel.  For cunnilingus, Suzy has given me feedback not to go to the clitoris too soon, because the feeling is to intense and sensitive that it hurts her.  She needs more foreplay, usually in her inner thighs and then the outer pussy lips.  Only after I've done a good job properly warming her up, is she ready for direct clit stimulation.  Well, I think that's what happened here, except I certainly had enough foreplay.  I think my cock head is so sensitive that that the direct stimulation was a little "too much" for me.  But make no mistake: I am quite happy with this session.  I came, so obviously I liked it.  And the psychological part, feeling watched and dominated was absolutely thrilling.  Would I like her to do this again?  Certainly.  It feels great to be her plaything.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


My period of chastity ended early on New Year's Day after we brought in the new year.  Suzy was very demanding and stated that she wanted to come and that I had better quickly penetrate her before she changed her mind.  She did some amount of cock and ball torture, still being rough as she had been lately.  She had a nice, powerful orgasm and then again chided me that if I did not get inside her, it might be too late.

I quickly got up and got a shirt to protect our sheets from the mess I was about to make.  Between the time of her orgasm and when I got on top of her, I lost my erection somewhat, and she also chided me about that.  I quickly got things up to their proper hardness and then inserted.  I am not certain how long I was thrusting... it wasn't that long, but she said later that it was "longer than she expected"... not sure if that's a compliment or she has low expectations for stamina after I have been so teased and denied.

All told, it was a 25 day chastity period.  There were two ruined orgasms mixed in there, and several tease and denial sessions.  We didn't make the 1 month that she was originally asking for, and I wonder how she feels about that?  I would like to have a few more rounds of orgasms, to get that "fully out of my system".  I still felt a feeling of well being and tension release in my groin area, longer after the actual act than I normally do.

How did this orgasm feel?  Terrific.  In spite of not having a great deal of stamina, I did have a very long (in both duration and intensity) climax.  It may have approached the orgasmic bliss that my bride gets on a day to day basis.  It was intense.  I rather suspect that my load was way above average too, although Suzy didn't really say much about that.  She will normally talk about her oozing throughout the day, but she did not this time.  The fate of my semen is a bit of a mystery to me in the sense that some of it seems to be absorbed by her body but (according to her) most of it oozes out, apparently throughout the day.  Like a time-release capsule, lol.

Yes, it was an intense orgasm.  It left me very drained.  I am hoping we can continue the intensity of our sex life, as we being to have to go back to reality of our day to day activities.

Peace! Happy new year!