Saturday, June 2, 2012

Relationship benefits of dominance/submission


D/S has had a positive benefit on our relationship
Suzy and I had a great date night last night with some other couples.  Unexpectedly, we had a chance to have lunch together as well.  I am extremely horny and Suzy could tell that my mind was racing, and she knew it was about sex play.  We had to speak in coded language when our somewhat overly attentive waitress was nearby.  However, for a good period of time, we had half of the restaurant to ourselves.  I was able to share my most recent femdom fantasies with her (more on that later), but the most important aspect of our time together was our view of our relationship.

We had a rocky marriage about a year and a half ago, and we have seen several marriages around us fall apart.  Our relationship has really been great, especially since around November, when we attended a marriage retreat.  I have made a conscious effort to improve myself and I feel I am a much better husband.

As I had discussed in my prior Love Languages post, physical touch is very important to me.  Sex is a big part of that.  I feel like I have always been "kinky" and wanted to explore sex to the fullest.  A friend of mine in high school once said he was "trisexual", meaning that he would try anything.  I feel that partly describes me.  My masochism is probably the biggest surprise to me.  I have been intrigued with dominant women since I was a kid, but to crave nipple and ball torture?  I wouldn't have predicted that, but I am loving it.  That's what you get from trying things out.
oh my.. how many slaves do you have Mistress?
mistressivey:

This is what many of my slaves look like ;)
I've said it before, and will say it again: there is nothing sexier than a confident woman.
I feel loved when Suzy takes charge and is enjoying sex.
In the past, when I had tried to introduce kink in our relationship, I was flat out rejected by Suzy.  Not being able to be open with her about my sexual fantasies lead to a lot of frustration.  Something changed, and she began being more open about hearing them, and acting out on them.  Then, she started to enjoy kinky sex play.

We discussed this change.  Something happened that lead her to be more open to listening to my kinky fantasies and beginning to try some things out.  I suggested that as we get older, we have a tendency to be more open to new things.  Suzy suggested that I might have approached her "in the right way". 

I personally think that couples need to constantly explore new things (not just sexual ones, but since this is a sex blog, that's what I'll focus on).  The exploration of female dominance and male submission has been a key thing to rekindling our intimacy.  I feel like she listens to me now, and I can discuss my crazy sex fantasies with her.  Even though we don't do every crazy sex fantasy that my perverted mind conjures up, being able to freely talk about it means a lot to me.
girlsrule-subsdrool:

See, pet, I TOLD you they wouldn’t fall off if I ruined your orgasm last night.
I just love it when Suzy takes charge.  Literally being on top of me is so very sexy.
I think that Suzy is really enjoying our sex life.  I think we are both surprised that she enjoys femdom play as much as she does.  I think it's likely that we will play tonight, and very likely that she will have a powerful orgasm.  I don't know if she will release me, or not.  I don't know what she might want to do tonight.  But the key to making this work is to let her take charge.

We discussed several other things, comparing various other couples that we know, what is going right for them, and where they might be headed.  I do know that submitting to Suzy as a dominant wife has made me feel a lot closer to her.  For us, it's working and keeping things together.  I feel like a newlywed, there are just so many things to try  It's a new and exciting world, even though we have been dabbling in it for a few years now.  I love her.  I can't wait to explore more with her.  Who knows what we will be doing next year?
*  *  *  *  *
Well, that was probably one of my more "feelings" type of posts ever.  Our relationship feels really strong right now, and I hope and pray I don't screw things up somehow.  I could probably go on and on about our discussion over lunch.  But I will close with my most persistent sex fantasies of late:
@http://girlsrule-subsdrool.tumblr.com/
I know you’d like this one Princess :)
bossymsbecky:

x don’t go anywhere!
Naked and helpless.  She is in total control.  Yes!
  • I took my son to see The Avengers.  In the beginning of the movie, there is a scene where Black Widow is tied with her hands behind her back in a chair.  The bad guys are tormenting her, and she ultimately busts out and kicks everyone's ass.  When I saw that scene, I immediately thought of how hot it would be for me to be tied to a chair, helpless, with Suzy "doing things to me".  HOT!
  • My desire to submit to her naked with her fully clothed has never been higher.  Normally, when we do CFNM play, she is in her bed clothes, which can vary significantly in sexiness.  But what I am talking about is for her to be fully clothed: in a dress, with shoes, hopefully gloves and jewelry.  I fantasize about her inspecting my body, and "doing things to me".  I would feel so dominated and vulnerable.  Then, we would move on to her orgasm, while she is fully clothed.  I am not sure how that could work, but something like, hiking up her dress so I can perform cunnilingus on her.  Feeling her shoes against my back seems like it would be sexy.  Or it could hurt.  Not sure, but I'd love to try.  There is something very big with me on her clothes.  I think psychologically, I view partially clothed sex as very passionate, that you are so into each other, that you don't have time to even take off your lover's clothes.  HOT!
Who doesn’t love amateur femdom :)
CFNM = feeling of vulnerability and desire to further submit.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing the improvement in your marriage. Opening up has helped us, but I have more to share with my Wife than we now do.

    ReplyDelete