Thursday, May 10, 2012

Increasing Male Libido

I am still struggling with lowered libido.  It feels weird not to constantly desire sex play with Suzy.  I feel like Austin Powers, that I have lost my "mojo".  I have been thinking about what tends to increase my interest in sex, as a mental exercise.  Here's what I've come up with:

Sexting
Naughty use of technology can lead to increased interest in sex play
Hot text messages build up sexual tension.  Sexual tension makes me think about sex as a possibility and then keeps me thinking about Suzy and how pleasurable it would be to play with her.  It is a form of foreplay that can build up over the course of a day, and can get us to a "boiling point" where we become passionate lovers.

Clothes
I don't think that I can over-estimate how important clothes are with regard to sexual arousal.  Clothing makes a big difference to me.  Unfortunately, my Queen is always "cold", so she tends to wear giant oversized clothes to bed.  When she wears something "special", it has a dramatic effect on me.  She has some sexy nighties and when she comes to bed with them on, my heart rate goes up.  I have a particular interest in panties.  I am rather turned off by the "granny panties" she has, but fortunately, she usually only wears those during her period (at which time, she does not want to be groped).  Most of her other panties are sexy. 
Sexy outfits with lots of accessibility are a huge turnon.
Not so much =(

I just love feeling of running my hands over her pussy, around her hips, and her ass: feeling the fabric cling to her sexy body.  Panties are more than just visual.  I revel that she does not have the bulge that I do, that she is so feminine and smooth "down there".  I prefer thongs, but I really also like those bikini panties that have the spaghetti straps around the hips.  I love running my hands over her panties and then being able to slip in to get some direct labia contact. 

Several sessions ago, she came to bed without panties.  Mentally, I equate no panties to mean, I want sex now.

Likewise, when her pubic hair is freshly trimmed and/or shaved.

Don't get me wrong: sexy clothes isn't just about lingerie, and she can certainly work a sexy dress with high heels into my CFNM fetish.  That could get very hot!

I get turned on by wearing sexy stuff too.  For me that is mainly thongs.  Wearing them turns me on, so I don't really want to wear them throughout the day.  But if I wear something special while I await my Queen, I do get aroused.  I feel sexy.  Lately, we have been experimenting with me sleeping in the nude.  It's increasing my libido...

Bottom line: Sexy clothes or nicely trimmed or shaved pubic hair makes me think that she is open to sex and that in turn increases my interest.

Dominant language
I wasn't horny the last time that my Queen ordered me to put my chastity belt on for a "lockup".  I hadn't ejaculated in a while at that point, so I "should" have been horny.  But that order instantly made me horny.  I believe she told me to lock up in the kitchen as I was cooking dinner, and almost immediately I "tented" my pants with a strong erection.  It's hard for me to say: was it her order or was it the kinkiness of the chastity belt, or the implied period of tease and denial?  Probably all the above!
YOU - Drop and give me 20!!!
Bottom line: it's clear to me that I am a submissive man, and when she orders me to do things, it is a real turn on.  Sex talk is very arousing to me, too.

Body language
It is pretty common for me to caress her body as we cuddle.  She can give nonverbal cues as to whether she is interested, and her interest will increase my interest.  During a recent sex session, I really didn't know if sex play was in the cards.  I caressed her and could tell she was enjoying the skin on skin contact.  I played with her panties and then she did something that really struck me: she opened her legs as if to say, "keep going".  She didn't actually say that, but she very clearly moved her body so that I had better access to playing with her pussy.  She ended up having a nice orgasm and went straight to sleep.
Nonverbal cues, such as opening her legs for easier access,
gives me reinforcement that she is interested, which arouses me further 

Bottom line: Nobody likes to be rejected.  Showing an interest from a partner's touch can in turn increase both partner's interest in continuing the sex play.  It builds momentum.

Female Orgasms
When she climaxes, I will get interested in sex.  The converse is certainly true: when she is not interested in sex, but allows a handjob for me, 90% of the time she will be so turned on by my orgasm that she will then want one herself.  I think that's part of human sexuality.  You see your lover in sexual ecstasy, and it simply turns you on.
Probably nothing turns me on more than a female orgasm

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I wrote this post a week or two ago, when my libido was at it's lowest.  Suzy has already incorporated some of these techniques, and they have worked.  I texted her about this (before posting this), and she said, "great minds think alike".

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