Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Quick update: Release, Near miss threesome

I have certainly enjoyed our play time lately.  To recap, I have had the longest tease and denial period ever.  My Queen denied me orgasm for over three weeks, from April 27 to May 20, when she allowed me to penetrate her to orgasm.  During this stretch, Suzy enjoyed 10 orgasms.  My submission to Her was enhanced with a Domme-ordered male chastity lockup that lasted 10 days - another record for me.
note the key around the ankle… HOTTTT
The use of the chastity belt enhanced my feelings of submission and contributed to my increased libido

My orgasm was intense and the release made me feel human again.  I was so full of sexual tension at that point that I was shaky - which she likes.

There is certainly a lot that can be said about my feelings of submission, and how much I enjoyed our playtimes.  The tease and denial sent my libido through the roof.  I feel like I did a good job avoiding topping from the bottom.  Each play session kept me in suspense as far as whether I would get some relief.
Another image of a woman behind a male, he is on display for her, and she has such control over him

The possibility of having a threesome with a 'boy toy' seemed very real.  Suzy had been keeping a dialogue going with a young stud from when she posted an ad on Craigslist a few months ago.  It seemed like we had a 'date' for meeting him scheduled and he got a little jittery at the last minute.  Suzy had been swapping emails with him, exchanging thoughts on what might occur in a sexual situation.  Suzy told him that the sex would be about her, and that she would like to explore pain.  This seemed to cause him pause, and our intro meeting was called off.

Nipple play has become a bit of a surprise to us both: that I enjoy it, and that it is such an easy way for her to dominate me.

Being in an intense state of denial, I was fantasizing like crazy about this threesome.  I suppose it is playing with fire, but it is something that I was looking forward to.  I am not sure how Suzy feels about this missed opportunity.  Will she reach out to him again?  Will she try to find another stud to play with?  I don't know!  It is fun fantasizing about it.  She seemed to like the idea of having two erect men to play and dominate.  He even asked for a picture of her to masturbate to!  I asked her if I could have one too, and she said I am not allowed to masturbate!  Ha!
I am sure I would enjoy watching her play with a boy toy!

Following my release, we both had very intense workweeks, so we didn't play at all.  We had "normal" sex over the weekend, which was fun.  I have not felt good, possibly due to allergies.  I hope we can play again soon.  I am feeling very amorous!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Love Languages

We went to a marriage conference last fall.  It was much needed and very helpful to our relationship.  At the conference, we got a number of books on family and marriage.  We got an audio book on "The Five Love Languages".  We listened to it together on the way back, so I get the general gist of what it's about.  Suzy completed listening to it and I think she expected me to do the same.

One of my recent finds is the Disheveled Domina blog.  I have found her interviews of dominant women to be interesting.  In fact, a blogging topic I've had for a long time is for me to conduct a self-interview and to interview my dominant wife Suzy.  In any event, each of the dominant woman were asked, toward the end of the interview, what their love language was.  DD also posted a link to a questionnaire that help to uncover what your "love languages" are.  I took the quiz.  I can't say I was overly surprised.
The general premise of this book is that you interpret love in a particular way; and catastrophe can strike if your lover does not demonstrate love for your in that way.  For example, if I need to have my lover physically touch me a lot and she does not, I will get frustrated.  She needs to "speak" my love language and I need to speak hers.
I took the test, as did Suzy.  My top score was "physical", and "words of affirmation" was not that far behind:
11: Physical Touch
8: Words of Affirmation
5: Quality Time
4: Acts of Service
2: Receiving Gifts

All of these things are desirable.  But my top ones are how I want love to be shown to me.  The best recent example was one night she was caressing my chest and she said something like "wow, I can really tell you are working out.  You look great".  That simple statement hit two of my main love languages at the same time.  She was physically touching me, and she was affirming the progress I have made with my fitness.  I interpreted that I was attractive to her.  I talk about my workouts pretty regularly, so she knows that it is an important part of my life.  I still remember how awesome it made me feel when she did that (it was before I took the quiz).  With this Love Languages paradigm, it certainly makes sense that that got me so worked up.
I find it rather interesting that after being together ~20 years, I still get the chills when she touches me.  My pulse still races when I am naked and she "inspects" my body, or teases me, or gives me foreplay.
How do I interpret this with regard to our female dominant/male submissive play?

Physical touch
I relish when she touches my body.  We usually cuddle in a spoon position, with me on the outside holding her body.  Lately I have noticed how loved I feel when we do the opposite: when she is on the outside and she is holding me, wrapping her arms around my chest.  I love that.

Just this morning, as I was trying to wake up and check out my usual blogs, she came up to me and looked at what I was doing.  She discretely pinched my right nipple and I think she could tell I was getting a surge of eroticism from it.  I kissed her and she smiled.  I love physical touch.  It makes me feel loved.

Being a masochistic sub, that physical touch could be what I described above, or rough cock and ball torture.  I think just about any touch will do.

I find this image to be deeply erotic.  His lover is assertively groping his body, enjoying the reaction from his cock.  Her left hand appears to be digging into his abdomen, implying that she enjoys being rough with him.  I love to be physically touched by my Queen.  I interpret that as love.

Words of affirmation
I have used an analogy a few times with Suzy: if she were asked to rate her sex life, on a scale of 1-10, I want her to answer a ten.  No, I don't want her to lie.  I want her to honestly answer that I am a ten in satisfying her sexual needs.  If I am not a ten, I want her to tell me what I need to do to get here there.  I want her to brag to her friends how sexually satisfied she is (not that she would do that, but a sub can fantasize).

I like it when she verbally affirms that she is enjoying our sex play.  The ultimate affirmation, I suppose, is her fantastic climaxes.  What could be more affirming that she enjoys sex than an earth-shattering, toe curling, moaning orgasm?  That says to me: yes, you hit the right spot!

With regard to our current male chastity play, it looked like this: I asked her if she thought about holding my key much (I am constantly reminded of being denied by her as a result of the chastity device she clicked the lock on a week ago yesterday).  She said she did, as she can feel the key during the day.  She has the key safety-pinned to her bra most times, and she told me she moved it to her thong the other day.

Likewise, I love it when she tells me that she enjoys what she is doing to me.  There have been times that she wasn't interested in sex play but indulged me in some cock and ball torture.  After doing so, she got turned on and wanted to climax.  That is also very affirming: playing with my body was so fun and exciting that she went from not interested to horny.  That's sexy, and I love the affirmation that she is having fun and enjoying our sex play.

Lest I not forget: her dirty talk is very affirming.  I feel a post on dirty talking coming soon.  I love that.

Honey I told you, no spacers this time. Last week you almost got a full erection!
I chose this as an image of affirmation because the woman is applying the lock to her submissive while he passively allows her to lock him up in chastity, knowing he will not experience orgasm until she wants.  To me, that affirms that she wants to be in control, that she enjoys the power exchange dynamic.

*  *  *  *  *
I will have to have a follow up post on Suzy's love languages.  I don't remember them all, but I do know that we were not fully lined up.  Physical touch was one of her lowest.  In discussing this with her, the insight we obtained was that she really doesn't like it when I come up and grope her.  It's not that I am insensitive to her about this, it's just an example where I am projecting my sense of love onto her... which, I believe, is what the 5 Love Languages is all about.  So, if an ass is to be grabbed in our household, it should be mine =P

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The science of sex appeal

A TV show about female sexuality?
Sign me up!

In a recent post, I mentioned that while waiting for my Queen to come to bed, I was able to watch several shows on the Discovery channel relating to the science of sex appeal.  First of all, I love thinking and learning about sex.  Second of all, I'm a bit of a science nerd.  Third of all, most of the discussion had to do with the study of female sexuality.  It's almost as if male sexuality was too simplistic to be discussed. 

There were several episodes shown, and I was unable to watch them all from start to finish.  Probably the most intriguing one was the seemingly mis-titled Why is sex fun?, when the subject seemed exclusively about why human females orgasm.  Wow, what a dream job!  Researching and writing about why women climax.  I would do that for free!

As I said before, I didn't watch any of the episodes from start to finish.  I had to keep it down, and I couldn't exactly record the show on the DVR because of curious little ones that now check the DVR frequently.  The biggest take away message from me was that during ovulation, lots of biochemical changes happen that induce women to be very open to sex - even consciously competing for it - at their most fertile time.  Some examples:

  • Male body odor generally turns women off, except during ovulation, at which time they are attracted to it.  From an evolutionary biology perspective, this functions to try to entice the woman to have sex with the maximum chance of getting pregnant.
  • Scientist isolated a female pheromone that when given to male subjects at a certain dose, basically erased the males' ability to differentiate attractiveness of females....basically, a biological "beer goggle", lol.
  • The female brain is programmed to be most feminine (and therefore most enticing to males) at ovulation.  This includes a higher pitched voice, a clearer complexion, and more pronounced body movements.
  • They studied women's behavior at a night club (a girls night out) and measured their dance styles and other flirtatious behavior.  They found that ovulating women were far more flirtatious than their non-ovulating girlfriends.  In fact, partnered women who were ovulating were the MOST flirtatious.  More on that later.
  • At the night club, they were able to measure the amount of skin exposed in the outfits they wore to the girls night out.  There was a high correlation between ovulation and high skin exposure.
  • They did a study monitoring women's (and they did men's too, but far less interesting to me) walking styles ("struts") on a treadmill.  When given the instruction that they are just monitoring their stride, most of the women walked "normally".  But when given the instruction that they were monitoring for sex appeal, the women all exaggerated their movements, as if to show off their femininity.  Their hips swayed in a much more pronounced manner.  It was as if they were thinking, "I'm being watched for my sexiness, and I want to prove how hot I am!"
Her cycle has a large effect on her sexuality

In my Orgasm Tracker page, I have been keeping track of our orgasms, as well as Suzy's cycle.  I inputted the dates in an ovulation calculator, and it computed that her most fertile period will be May 18-22.  I suspect that means that the peak day is Sunday, May 20.

I am curious about trying an experiment.  What if, during her ovulation time this weekend, we go to that restaurant with the waiter she finds hot.  Would she be more insistent that we sit in his section?  If he was our waiter, would she flirt with him?  Touch his hand?  Show more cleavage?

*  *  *  *  *
I must say that when it comes to Suzy's cycle, I am usually very clueless.  Suzy's breasts are very finicky about when it's ok to stimulate them.  I think that the times that she wants her breasts sucked, she is quite aggressive about it (which as a submissive male, I obviously like).  I do believe that these times coincide with her ovulation, and she has mentioned that she is horniest around that time.  I am glad that this time is coming up for the weekend, so we can do some experimenting!  I have a feeling she is going to "get some".... me, I'm not so sure!

Monday, May 14, 2012

A new way for her to climax

As we were getting to bed yesterday, Suzy asked me a few questions about how long I've worn the chastity cage (3 days), how long I have been chaste (over two weeks), and how many orgasms she's had (when she asked, it was 6 in a row, soon to be 7).  She seemed pleased that I had ready answers for her questions, and suggested that things would continue in that direction.
Suzy has been dominating me in the orgasm department.
She is currently at 7 in a row
I had fantasized about a new way for her to climax for a while.  We were both feeling somewhat frisky last night, so I thought I would give it a shot.  I put a pillow onto my abdomen and asked her to climb on top of me.  I slid the Hitachi magic wand vibrator between her and the pillow, and positioned it so the head of the vibrator was on her pussy.  Since Suzy is shorter than I am, we were able to position it so that the contact point was not too close to my locked genitals.  That, plus the pillow's dampening effect on the powerful vibrations were intended to prevent accidentally over-stimulating my cock.  This was about her pleasure, not mine.
I feel a high degree of intimacy while she is on top of me
Our kissing was intense and I love the feel of her body weight on top of me.
What I was hoping for was a high level of face to face intimacy while she climaxed.  That goal was achieved.  As Suzy felt the vibrations and her orgasm mounting, she kissed me aggressively, with a sense of urgency.  Her hair spilled over my face, so I felt I was absolutely consumed by her.  Her climax was quite intense and she made it clear that she enjoyed the new orgasm method.  I asked her if this is something we would try again, and she said, "absolutely".

I am happy to report that our FLR continues to go well.  I didn't do or say something yesterday that I shouldn't have.  During her post orgasm glow (which by the way, seemed much longer than normal yesterday), she said that she found it interesting that our intimate life is accelerating in passion whereas some of her female friends' is not.  I asked her why she thought that was and she didn't seem to want to discuss it further.  She did say that she appreciated that I "opened up to her" about my submissive desires and she affirmed that she is getting more comfortable with dominating me.  I hope to continue this line of thinking further.

*  *  *  *  *

I hesitated a bit, but I did bring up to her my intense desire to be spanked.  She smiled and said, "not on Mother's day, it's about me today".  She suggested that I might be spanked sometime soon, and then said that once school's over (and thus she has more time), "your bottom's gonna be red".
I caved in and brought up my craving to be spanked.
I could have a red butt in my future.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

FLR going well, so I am worried...

We are both having a lot of fun in the bedroom, with our sex play centered on my Queen's carnal pleasures.  She has now climaxed six consecutive sessions and I have been denied orgasm for over two weeks.  Friday morning, she locked me in my Birdlock chastity device and has teased me quite a bit about "not needing the key anytime soon". 
His cock is locked, she holds the key...
Her period is over, and I was looking forward to performing cunnilingus on her Saturday night.  It was very fun for me, being locked in chastity and 'worshipping her pussy', but unfortunately she did not climax.  She came VERY close, with intense moaning and the involuntary hip movements that are so sexy to me.  Things were extremely wet down there, I suppose a combination of her pussy juices and my saliva.  I wish I could have brought her to orgasm orally.  I tried a technique I read on the internet, fingering her pussy in the opposite direction that I normally do, gently pulling down, away from her clitoris.  This tip claimed that there is a ligament that gets stimulated/stretched and builds anticipation for the woman.  I didn't get any specific feedback from her on that, but I do know she was wetter than normal.
Unfortunately, my extended duration between her legs didn't result in an orgasm.
I loved it: the focus on her sexual needs, her taste and smell.  I hope to go down on her tonight.
She finished off by my use of the vibrator on her clit while I fingered her pussy.  Her orgasm didn't seem as intense to me, but it was a long one.  I caressed her for an extended amount of time during her post-orgasm glow and then she laid her head on my chest, slapped my locked bits around for a few second and then pinched my nipples.  I wanted to work another female orgasm in, but I felt like there was a high chance of rejection.  I kept caressing her, and then she firmly declared, "it's time for bed now".  That sent me into sub-space.  I rather like it when she is definitive like that.  We slept together, her fully clothed and me wearing just my wedding ring and chastity device.

My desire for her is intense.  I am physically shaking.  It feels like I am on an extended period of foreplay, constantly aroused and thinking of her.  I am making a concerted effort not to "top from the bottom", as my history has been to screw up by saying or doing something to piss her off just when she really starts to feel comfortable dominating me.  I am worried that I will screw up.  I think I have been good at not making any "suggestions" to her; I haven't whined about my horniness; on nights she doesn't want to play, I haven't complained; I haven't asked her for her thoughts on when I might be released or unlocked; my blog posts haven't pissed her off.

*  *  *  *  *
I think I have about 19 draft posts.  It is difficult to keep up, and our FLR has been intense lately.  Suzy had some school work to do, and I was lucky enough to have a night of the Discovery channel discussing the science of sex appeal.  I might have seen portions of the episodes before, and it is a blog-worthy topic.  Perhaps that's draft post #20. =P

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Increasing Male Libido

I am still struggling with lowered libido.  It feels weird not to constantly desire sex play with Suzy.  I feel like Austin Powers, that I have lost my "mojo".  I have been thinking about what tends to increase my interest in sex, as a mental exercise.  Here's what I've come up with:

Naughty use of technology can lead to increased interest in sex play
Hot text messages build up sexual tension.  Sexual tension makes me think about sex as a possibility and then keeps me thinking about Suzy and how pleasurable it would be to play with her.  It is a form of foreplay that can build up over the course of a day, and can get us to a "boiling point" where we become passionate lovers.

I don't think that I can over-estimate how important clothes are with regard to sexual arousal.  Clothing makes a big difference to me.  Unfortunately, my Queen is always "cold", so she tends to wear giant oversized clothes to bed.  When she wears something "special", it has a dramatic effect on me.  She has some sexy nighties and when she comes to bed with them on, my heart rate goes up.  I have a particular interest in panties.  I am rather turned off by the "granny panties" she has, but fortunately, she usually only wears those during her period (at which time, she does not want to be groped).  Most of her other panties are sexy. 
Sexy outfits with lots of accessibility are a huge turnon.
Not so much =(

I just love feeling of running my hands over her pussy, around her hips, and her ass: feeling the fabric cling to her sexy body.  Panties are more than just visual.  I revel that she does not have the bulge that I do, that she is so feminine and smooth "down there".  I prefer thongs, but I really also like those bikini panties that have the spaghetti straps around the hips.  I love running my hands over her panties and then being able to slip in to get some direct labia contact. 

Several sessions ago, she came to bed without panties.  Mentally, I equate no panties to mean, I want sex now.

Likewise, when her pubic hair is freshly trimmed and/or shaved.

Don't get me wrong: sexy clothes isn't just about lingerie, and she can certainly work a sexy dress with high heels into my CFNM fetish.  That could get very hot!

I get turned on by wearing sexy stuff too.  For me that is mainly thongs.  Wearing them turns me on, so I don't really want to wear them throughout the day.  But if I wear something special while I await my Queen, I do get aroused.  I feel sexy.  Lately, we have been experimenting with me sleeping in the nude.  It's increasing my libido...

Bottom line: Sexy clothes or nicely trimmed or shaved pubic hair makes me think that she is open to sex and that in turn increases my interest.

Dominant language
I wasn't horny the last time that my Queen ordered me to put my chastity belt on for a "lockup".  I hadn't ejaculated in a while at that point, so I "should" have been horny.  But that order instantly made me horny.  I believe she told me to lock up in the kitchen as I was cooking dinner, and almost immediately I "tented" my pants with a strong erection.  It's hard for me to say: was it her order or was it the kinkiness of the chastity belt, or the implied period of tease and denial?  Probably all the above!
YOU - Drop and give me 20!!!
Bottom line: it's clear to me that I am a submissive man, and when she orders me to do things, it is a real turn on.  Sex talk is very arousing to me, too.

Body language
It is pretty common for me to caress her body as we cuddle.  She can give nonverbal cues as to whether she is interested, and her interest will increase my interest.  During a recent sex session, I really didn't know if sex play was in the cards.  I caressed her and could tell she was enjoying the skin on skin contact.  I played with her panties and then she did something that really struck me: she opened her legs as if to say, "keep going".  She didn't actually say that, but she very clearly moved her body so that I had better access to playing with her pussy.  She ended up having a nice orgasm and went straight to sleep.
Nonverbal cues, such as opening her legs for easier access,
gives me reinforcement that she is interested, which arouses me further 

Bottom line: Nobody likes to be rejected.  Showing an interest from a partner's touch can in turn increase both partner's interest in continuing the sex play.  It builds momentum.

Female Orgasms
When she climaxes, I will get interested in sex.  The converse is certainly true: when she is not interested in sex, but allows a handjob for me, 90% of the time she will be so turned on by my orgasm that she will then want one herself.  I think that's part of human sexuality.  You see your lover in sexual ecstasy, and it simply turns you on.
Probably nothing turns me on more than a female orgasm

*  *  *  *  *
I wrote this post a week or two ago, when my libido was at it's lowest.  Suzy has already incorporated some of these techniques, and they have worked.  I texted her about this (before posting this), and she said, "great minds think alike".

Monday, May 7, 2012

Intense session

Suzy and I were on fire during our long play session
Sunday's session had some promising beginnings.  The kids were quite tired from a very busy weekend, so they were inclined to get to sleep early.  We were behind in our Desperate Housewives episodes and Suzy was wanting to get caught up.  She indicated she wanted her back rubbed and then told me to rub her feet.  Instead of telling me to switch feet, she simply positioned her new foot towards me.  I know this may not seem like much, but I thought it was sexy.  I like it when she knows what she wants and directs me to it.
After the show was over, she mentioned again that it was going to be a bummer once the series is over.  We have one more show to watch (the one that aired last night) and then the finale.  The plot is getting pretty thick with sexuality, which I think turns us both on.  In addition, at dinner, we were close to a young waiter that Suzy finds quite hot.  She was visibly distracted by his presence.  I don't know what effect that had on her libido, but it couldn't have hurt.
We were all over each other last night!

After the show, I showered while Suzy did some computer work.  She came back in, locked the door herself (!) and then we began to kiss and touch each other.  She took off her shirt, which facilitated my ability to stimulate her back, breasts, and arms.  We were both aroused.
Suzy stimulated my cock and groped my balls.  It felt so great to be vulnerable before her.  She said that it was too bad that she was still on her period, that she would like me to penetrate her.  She joked that I was hard but had no place to come.  I continued to stimulate her back and occasionally her breasts while she groped my body.  She played with my nipples manually and then sucked on them, simultaneously playing with my cock.  That was intense and erotic.

She continued to raise my arousal level and then began smacking my balls.  It had been a long time since she administered pain, and it felt very intense for me.  She edged me (brought me to the brink of orgasm, then backed off) several times.  She then began to stimulate my perineum area, which she also hadn't done for a while.  She also teased my ass.  That really felt great, and I was glad I showered.  She went through a cycle of jerking my cock, stimulating my balls, and then my perineum, and back to my cock.  She was watching my reactions like a hawk, and after the session was over, I confirmed that she was monitoring my excitement level so that she knew when to back off.  What a woman!  What a dominant woman!
This was a long session.  My cock was on the verge of exploding for 15-20 minutes.  After about 30 minutes (her estimate... I had no concept of time at this point!), she abruptly said, "OK, that's all I'm doing tonight", or something to that effect.  It was definitive, clear, and dominant.  I wasn't going to come tonight.  I got on top of her, and we began kissing passionately.  She told me to suck her tits, and I complied readily.  After a couple of minutes of alternating between her wondrous breasts, she stopped me, moved my face up for some more kissing and told me directly that it was time for her orgasm.

“It has been so long since I ruined one of your orgasms.”
Suzy stroked my cock a lot... but backed off when I was approaching orgasm.
I got out the Hitachi Magic Wand, and positioned the vibrator while she squeezed my still erect cock.  She came very hard - I thought even harder than Friday night, but she denied that.  She was loud and unrestrained in her climax.  I kissed her some more after she came, and continued to stimulate her chest and back during her orgasm afterglow.

We fell asleep together, me naked and her topless.  We were both sexually satisfied with her tease and denial of me, and her spectacular orgasm.

*  *  *  *  *

What made this a great session from my perspective was that it was a "main event" for our day.  It is our circumstance that we are often very tired and sex play is at the very end of the day, when we are both exhausted.  I had a late afternoon coffee (I haven't been sleeping well lately) specifically to make sure I had energy for our play date.  I would say we often start after 10pm, but we were probably done by that time.  And it was a long session!  I wonder what we are going to be like when we have an empty nest - probably like a bunch of horny newlyweds!!!  I can't wait!
There was a lot of passion.  We kissed a lot, and were very physical.
I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything stupid.  I wanted to give her positive feedback that I was enjoying the stimulation, so I moaned and told her how turned on I was.  But I didn't make any suggestions and I didn't ask her any questions.  She was working her cock, and she could do what she liked with it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

What is Dominant Sex?

Does Suzy like to dominate me?
What does she define as dominant?
On my last post, Tamara had asked a question about what Suzy defined as dominant sex.  I had to think about that some.  After Suzy's orgasm Friday night, I attempted to bring this up.

We didn't get that far.  Suzy was tired and wanted to sleep.  She also kept avoiding the questions I was asking her.  We did agree on a couple of things: that I am truly a submissive male and want to be dominated during our sex play, and that we both enjoy cock and ball torture.

Neither of those agreements would come as a surprise to anyone who's ever read my blog before.  I have screwed up a fair amount lately, so Suzy I think is questioning a lot about whether or not we are a female lead relationship.

What do I define as dominant sex?  I have been thinking about this some.  The main purpose of this blog is to communicate to Suzy what I like.  I think I am pretty transparent.  I think my definition of female dominant sex boils down to a disparity (or "the double standard") and control.

Double Standard
I feel dominated when there is a disparity or double standard between us sexually.  This can be manifested in:

  • Cunnilingus: I love doing it to her, but rarely get fellatio in return.  This is not to say that I don't like or want fellatio, but rather, it makes me feel dominated to perform but not receive.
  • Massages: She gets long foot rubs when we watch Desperate Housewives; I don't think she's ever given me a foot massage.
  • Orgasms: I have kept a short diary of our orgasms in the "Orgasm Tracker" page.  Over a few months sampling size, she has climaxed three times per every male orgasm.  There have been periods (I had kept track on a spreadsheet before) where she has come ten or eleven times in a row.
  • Orgasm intensity: There is no question in my mind that her orgasms are longer and more intense than mine.
  • Clothes: CFNM (clothed female, naked male) is a big fetish of mine.  I feel so vulnerable when I am naked.  That vulnerability is intensified when she is clothed.  Suzy made a comment about this during one of our recent "quickies" and I pretty much came right after that.
  • Cuckolding (fantasy): This is looking like it won't happen, but what a turn on that Suzy can play with other men and I must remain monogamous to her.
Found this on another blog:
The unfocused background shows the male satisfying the woman
 while his cock is unattended, but aroused.
Giving up control over my body or over my behavior is very erotic and makes me feel dominated.  She can do this through:

  • Orgasm Control A: I am turned on by her having final authority over whether I come.
  • Orgasm Control B: If a male orgasm is a go, the intensity of my orgasm is inversely related to the control over which I have over the orgasm.  Masturbation (don't worry, Suzy, I haven't done this in ages!) is the ultimate control.  I can alter the pressure and rhythm and have control over when I ejaculate.  This is true to a lesser extent with man on top sex, where I can pause or speed up the thrusting.  With female on top sex, I have much less control, and usually I can't come in this position.  If I am restrained and she is giving me a handjob, I have zero control.  I feel dominated and, all things equal, have the best orgasms this way.
  • Orders: Suzy has said she is not comfortable with giving me orders, but sometimes she does tell me what to do.  What a turn on!  As an example, she will tell me to get out certain spanking implements.
  • Pain: I am a masochist, I like it when Suzy is rough with me.  I feel controlled and dominated when I spread my legs so that she can get better access to my balls, to slap them.
  • Restraints: Being bound and incapable of movement is the ultimate loss of control.
  • Being used: One night, Suzy was horny and I was asleep.  She came in and stroked my cock till it was erect, then mounted me and climaxed.  She rolled off me, kissed me, and said, "I hope you can get back to sleep".

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I doubt that's a comprehensive list, and certainly there is overlap between those two areas of the double standard and control.  Getting back to Tamara's original question: what does Suzy define as dominant sex?  I know that she enjoys most, if not all of the items here.  Some she might not view as dominant.  Does Suzy "like" to dominate me, or does she do those things because I like them?  I don't know the complete answer on that.  Like I said in the intro, I know Suzy enjoys busting my balls.  I know that she enjoys her orgasms.  I don't know if she appreciates what these things do, for me as a submissive husband... how much I crave them.