Sunday, April 8, 2012

Epic Fail

I think I would prefer to take a blow to the head over disappointing my dominant wife.

Things had been shaping up really nicely for me, as a submissive husband.  We were sexting, my Domme Queen had given me a command to buy a new punishment device and had promised my ass would be in pain.  Not only that, I was locked in my chastity device at her command.  We had everything going for us.  She was loving the idea of dominating me, and I was about to get dominated.  We were cruising to a female domination / male submission nirvana.

Until I failed miserably, described in my wife's post.
"Do not follow her lead when he craves her to dominate him: 1"
We have had some follow on discussions, and things may not be back to where they had been Friday evening for some time.  I blame myself.  I hope that my Queen forgives me and gives our FLR another chance.

From her perspective, she has given me many chances.  Without a doubt, communication is the most challenging aspect of any relationship, and more so with a female lead one (IMO).
Yep, that's me: in the submissive husband doghouse.
Communication is difficult.  It was difficult for me to tell her that I wanted her to take charge and dominate me, sexually.  I thought she was going to freak.  I use this blog to try to explain my fantasies, and some of them, I don't really feel like she "gets"; or more likely, she needs some time to get comfortable with my perverted ideas.  I do know that I have a strong desire to be dominated, and I am sure that if I hadn't screwed up, I would have had the time of my life Saturday night.  I hate "what if..." scenarios, but it sure sounded like it was going to be epic and blog-worthy.

Fuck.

Oh well.  I guess I need to try to learn from my mistakes and try to create an environment where she will feel comfortable going back to the frame of mind she had last Friday.

*  *  *  *  *
Suzy allowed me to be unlocked this morning, although it was not as ceremonious or sexy as past unlockings, in light of the circumstances.  I spent two days and two nights locked, and I did pretty well in the Birdlock device this time.  I exclusively peed sitting down.  For reasons I can't entirely explain, when locked in the CB-6000, peeing was really difficult when I was sitting, but is actually easier with the Birdlock.  I guess with chastity devices, men need some time to figure out the kinks (so to speak) and then can enjoy being locked at their Mistress' pleasure.  Not sure what my next release might look like, or my next chastity period, for that matter.  Hopefully, I can win back Suzy's confidence and she can give me the ass-whipping I deserve (and crave).

4 comments:

  1. I hate to tell you this, lts, but you're just like the rest of us guys who want our wives to take charge. We're all rather dense most of the time. Sorry!

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  2. Sorry to hear about this...we all make mistakes, the key is what we do afterwards. i hope you and Suzy are eventually able to get back on track, from reading Her blog it sounds like She is (along with being hurt and upset) disappointed that things have been damaged, so perhaps there's something to be hopeful for there. The only advice i can give from my own mistakes is to be patient and don't push Her (at all!), this may take quite a bit of time but it's not impossible to move past it.

    Good luck to you both, i have enjoyed both of your blogs and hope things eventually brighten up.

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  3. This is something that can be worked through. I commented with my own advice on her blog. The key is communication and listening to her expectations, and making sure you practice her expectations.

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