Sunday, April 29, 2012

Another quickie, female dominant sex

My libido continues to be low.  I am hoping this is a short term thing, and not the "new normal".

There is some irony to this.  I crave my Queen to initiate sex, and as a result of my subdued libido, she has been the initiator lately.  She commented that she enjoyed my last post, and especially the photo selection of the 'quickie', with the couple each having their socks on. 
Quickie sex is fun, because there is a high amount of passion and excitement
As it turns out, we had a rare moment alone at home, and we took advantage of it by planning a dinner date.  I was NOT horny and had NO expectations that we were going to have any sex play.  We were getting short on time prior to our reservation.  My Queen summoned me upstairs for another 'quickie'.  She wanted me to screw her before our date.  When she first beckoned me up, I thought I misheard her.  I quickly sprang upstairs to our bedroom.  She was naked except for some fairly high boots.  The boots were very sexy (I have posted on what female clothes turn me on, and boots are on the list!).  I stripped my clothes off quickly and began stroking my cock.  I felt the pressure: pressure to perform sexually and to do so in a timely manner.  There was no time for foreplay, I needed to perform right away.
For our latest 'quickie', I was nude and she wore boots.  Just boots =)
Suzy said "get on top of me, that will get you hard".  What can I say, she knows my cock.  I got on top of her, nude, while she had her big boots on.  She must have been aroused and wanting sex, because my cock slipped right in as soon as it was hard enough to penetrate her.  I was reasonably proud of my sexual endurance (it was a quickie, and we honestly didn't have a lot of time, but I did last a bit).  She did a good amount of dirty talking, and my orgasm was intense.  I got off of her to try to regain my composure while she masturbated with the Hitachi Magic Wand.  She came, and we got dressed and had a great dinner.

*  *  *  *  *

I am getting my arms around this scene and a) whether it was a femdom scene or not; b) whether Suzy wants to continue exploring femdom sex.

First, was this female-dominant sex?  I am quite certain that I will get this wrong (I will usually hear about my posts not properly interpreting things from her perspective).  I am thinking that it was.  While it's hard for me to claim that I was "used" for sex (a big fantasy for me as a submissive male), there were certain elements that made me feel like I was dominated.  It was a real turnon that she initiated it (maybe even demanded it), and the tremendous amount of pressure to perform put me in a deep sub-space.  I felt very much controlled by her.  While I came first, this seems to be "normal" for quickie sex for us.

Secondly, does my Queen want our sex life to be female-dominant?  We've had some ups and downs, and just as I think she was feeling comfortable with administering pain, I screwed up.  I don't know where she stands with this. 

I do know that I wanted to ask her to spank my ass during our quickie.  I am really glad I kept my mouth shut.  My mouth gets me in a lot of trouble with regards to sex.  Sometimes I wish that my mouth is occupied during our sex play to keep me out of trouble (either via cunnilingus or a ball gag).

I do know that I enjoy female dominant and male submissive sex.  I fantasize about our past sexcapades and hope we can return to our play.  I believe I am a sexual masochist.  I like when she is rough with me.  I really miss her cock and ball torture, and her playing with my nipples was really starting to get interesting.  I don't know if Suzy realizes how much I like to be dominated.

I googled "woman on top" and liked this image.  The man seems to be at her mercy.


  1. Yes, quickie sex can be fun. What I don't like about it is that I have difficulties to orgasm under pressure, and - well - I tend to want to have an orgasm when we have sex - not a vibrator orgasm, but a "real" René-induced one.
    But, well, we have had a couple of quickies, so to speak, in the last twelve months, but usually without an orgasm for either of us.

    I wonder: Did you have to ask for permission to come during your quickie?
    And are you willing (and allowed) to share some of the dirty talk with us? I am curious to know what kind of things she said to you.

    So, having to perform under pressure put you into subspace. Wow. I don't think that would work with René.

    As to whether it was a femdom scene or not:
    Well, to me, from my personal Vanilla Queen perspective, most of it looked quite dominant.
    The fact that she called you because she wanted to be fucked was definitely dominant.
    The boots, well, it depends on why she wore them. Did she wear them because she likes them? (Dominant) Did she wear them because she wanted to assist you in getting hard?( Neutral. Unfortunately male sex-toys need to be aroused to a certain degree in order to serve as penetrators (unless they use a strap-on, that is).) Or did she just want to please you/do you a favour by wearing them? (Not dominant.)
    The same goes for the dirty talk. If she herself enjoys it, I consider it as dominant. If she used it to do you a favour - it is vanilla, in my opinion.
    I don't know how you define being "used" for sex, but for me it looks as if you were. OK. She let you come without having had an orgasm herself, but that is secondary. The important thing is that she wanted to be penetrated and she ordered you to do so. Her own sexual pleasure from the physical stimulation would not have been increased if she had made you stop shortly before coming.
    I think it was very good that you did not ask her to spank you. This sexual act was about her. She wanted to enjoy being fucked. If she had wanted to spank you, she would have done so. The fact that you did not ask for any favours probably made it easier for her to stay focussed on herself and her own pleasure.

    As you can see, I equated "dominant sex" with "selfish sex", with sex that is solely about her pleasure, whereas for you "dominant sex" seems to be sex in which your partner does things that make you feel being used, whether she really enjoys those things herself or only does them to please you.

    That makes me wonder what "dominant sex" is for René. I suppose me being selfish isn't enough for him, either.

  2. Thanks for the comment, Tamara. I will try to answer your questions:

    I did not ask for permission to come. I felt that is what she wanted, and I have gotten in trouble in the past with this. Basically, she would say she wants me to have sex and I will say something like "are you sure you want me to come?" and she gets really made about that. I think she treats it as if I am second-guessing her. So, I don't ask. I have asked permission to masturbate when she's not in the mood for sex, and I think she's always said no.

    I am very susceptible to dirty talk. By that I mean that it can hasten my orgasm - it really makes a big difference to me. She normally talks about my "big cock" and that I am "going to explode" and that she's going to be "dripping all day tomorrow" - things like that. I am rather insecure about my cock, so that really helps me. I appreciate it any way. She does do other dirty talk sometimes. I am most turned on when she is inflicting pain and she says things like "awww, I am not even hitting that hard. Take it like a man"; and she teases me that she "doesn't need my balls anymore" (I had a vasectomy). I am likewise very aroused by such talk.

    With respect to pressure to perform: I guess I am aroused by mild humiliation. As an example, the ONLY time I have ever had difficulty becoming erect was when we were on a cruise, and we had already had sex twice that day. I couldn't "perform". She still teases me about that, although it was years ago.

    I suspect that she would not consider this to be dominant sex... that's my hunch anyway. One thing I neglected to mention is that most times when we have sex, it is at the very end of the day, and I am borderline exhausted. Sex at more "normal" times is therefore a fun diversion. No lights to worry about, no need to be quiet, and plenty of energy. I really wish that would happen more often.

    I am not sure about the other questions you ask. I will try to get some feedback from her about that :)

    Thanks for your comments!

    1. Lovetosubmit,
      Thanks for answering my questions.

      "I did not ask for permission to come. I felt that is what she wanted, and I have gotten in trouble in the past with this."
      I see. If she doesn't want you to ask it is clear that you shouldn't. Our case is different. We have a rule that René always has to ask shortly before his (potential) orgasm. Since he does not like being denied, I usually don't give him an absolute "no". But sometimes I tell him "Not yet", because I want him to lick me some more or have other plans with him.

      Thanks for the dirty talk examples. Do you use dirty talk, as well, or does she do all the talking? Does she like hearing dirty talk at all?

      I would really like to know what Suzy considers to be dominant sex. I asked René, and he said that he wasn't sure if something like that existed. His definition of what constitutes D/s is very narrow, I'm afraid.

  3. Hi Tamara,
    Sorry for the delayed response. Suzy does NOT like dirty talk during sex. It seems best that I stay quiet and let her do the talking. I get myself into trouble, either by putting my foot in my mouth or by making "suggestions", which she does not like. I have tried to do the dirty talking while she was about to orgasm, and I think it just distracted her.

    Dirty talking leading up to sex seems ok. "Sexting" is something we both like. I think it is most analogous to flirting and it shows that we are both interested in playing. That's not trivial. I would much prefer to have an indication as to whether or not she is open to sex play. As I said somewhere recently, nobody likes to be rejected, and if she just wants to sleep, for example, I would like to move on to other interests.