Sunday, April 29, 2012

Another quickie, female dominant sex

My libido continues to be low.  I am hoping this is a short term thing, and not the "new normal".

There is some irony to this.  I crave my Queen to initiate sex, and as a result of my subdued libido, she has been the initiator lately.  She commented that she enjoyed my last post, and especially the photo selection of the 'quickie', with the couple each having their socks on. 
Quickie sex is fun, because there is a high amount of passion and excitement
As it turns out, we had a rare moment alone at home, and we took advantage of it by planning a dinner date.  I was NOT horny and had NO expectations that we were going to have any sex play.  We were getting short on time prior to our reservation.  My Queen summoned me upstairs for another 'quickie'.  She wanted me to screw her before our date.  When she first beckoned me up, I thought I misheard her.  I quickly sprang upstairs to our bedroom.  She was naked except for some fairly high boots.  The boots were very sexy (I have posted on what female clothes turn me on, and boots are on the list!).  I stripped my clothes off quickly and began stroking my cock.  I felt the pressure: pressure to perform sexually and to do so in a timely manner.  There was no time for foreplay, I needed to perform right away.
For our latest 'quickie', I was nude and she wore boots.  Just boots =)
Suzy said "get on top of me, that will get you hard".  What can I say, she knows my cock.  I got on top of her, nude, while she had her big boots on.  She must have been aroused and wanting sex, because my cock slipped right in as soon as it was hard enough to penetrate her.  I was reasonably proud of my sexual endurance (it was a quickie, and we honestly didn't have a lot of time, but I did last a bit).  She did a good amount of dirty talking, and my orgasm was intense.  I got off of her to try to regain my composure while she masturbated with the Hitachi Magic Wand.  She came, and we got dressed and had a great dinner.

*  *  *  *  *

I am getting my arms around this scene and a) whether it was a femdom scene or not; b) whether Suzy wants to continue exploring femdom sex.

First, was this female-dominant sex?  I am quite certain that I will get this wrong (I will usually hear about my posts not properly interpreting things from her perspective).  I am thinking that it was.  While it's hard for me to claim that I was "used" for sex (a big fantasy for me as a submissive male), there were certain elements that made me feel like I was dominated.  It was a real turnon that she initiated it (maybe even demanded it), and the tremendous amount of pressure to perform put me in a deep sub-space.  I felt very much controlled by her.  While I came first, this seems to be "normal" for quickie sex for us.

Secondly, does my Queen want our sex life to be female-dominant?  We've had some ups and downs, and just as I think she was feeling comfortable with administering pain, I screwed up.  I don't know where she stands with this. 

I do know that I wanted to ask her to spank my ass during our quickie.  I am really glad I kept my mouth shut.  My mouth gets me in a lot of trouble with regards to sex.  Sometimes I wish that my mouth is occupied during our sex play to keep me out of trouble (either via cunnilingus or a ball gag).

I do know that I enjoy female dominant and male submissive sex.  I fantasize about our past sexcapades and hope we can return to our play.  I believe I am a sexual masochist.  I like when she is rough with me.  I really miss her cock and ball torture, and her playing with my nipples was really starting to get interesting.  I don't know if Suzy realizes how much I like to be dominated.


I googled "woman on top" and liked this image.  The man seems to be at her mercy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Lowered Libido

We have not been 'connecting' much lately.
My libido has been down... it's like I lost my mojo.
Not a lot of sex has been happening in the rooster household.  I have simply not been horny.  My libido is low.  By this I mean, I haven't been craving sex, desiring sex, and initiating sex - although I am confident that had Suzy approached me about needing to 'take care of her' I would have gladly complied.  However, April is probably going to be the least sexy month we've had, as measured by my Orgasm Tracker page.

There are a number of factors for this, but they mostly boil down to stress.  Stress in my job, stress with our finances, stress with our home (the number of things that need repair is mounting), and we recently had out of town visitors.  Suzy usually does NOT want sex when we have people staying overnight, so I think I simply didn't try.  I have a drafted post of the alcohol vs. sex decision.  I far and away prefer to play sexually with Suzy, but if I perceive that she will not be receptive to sex, I will likely shake a martini and watch TV or surf the net.

Quickies are certainly welcome sexual play in our household!
With this backdrop, I was very pleasantly surprised this Saturday when she seemed to go out of her way to acknowledge she wanted my touch.  First of all, we almost never have sex in the mornings and we had visitors.  So, I thought sex was out of the question and did not try.  I don't like being rejected any more than the next submissive husband.  But she kept positively reinforcing when I touched her body.  She layed her head down on my chest, played with my nipples some (which has been a very exciting move for us lately) and even reached into my pants and grabbed my balls.  The alarm went off and then she said something along the lines of "that's the tease you get" and went off.  By that time, I was getting aroused and ready for sex, and we did have a 'quickie' later that morning (Suzy sometimes chastises me for getting details wrong).
It was straight missionary sex and I did not last long.  While my libido has been low, I have fantasized a bit about the usual femdom things (mainly me performing cunnilingus on her while she plays with another man's cock) and then lost it and came inside her pussy.  She did some dirty talking and very matter of factly pointed out that, once again, she was wearing a lot more clothes than I was, indulging my CFNM fetish.  She then used the vibrator on herself and had a long, intense orgasm.

This mini session was an oasis of sexuality in the desert of the stressors mentioned above.  I have been reflecting on it, and I was wondering if this was a permanent shift due to my age, or a phase of life that will pass.  Is my testosterone level going down?  Am I losing my mojo?

Our visitors were gone, so I was hoping for some play last night.  I still wasn't super horny (as I usually am), but I thought I'd just go for it.  I tried to put the moves on her and she was not receptive, although she did appreciate my erection against her body and she said that she wanted me to desire her more.  I don't know what my Queen has in mind, but I hope that we shift the balance away from alcohol and more towards sex.  So much better for you!

In spite of my lower libido, I definitely crave her domination.
I want her to be rough with me and I want her to have lots of sexual pleasure.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Needing a "love connection"; Remedial Cunnilingus

We needed a "love connection"; successful cunnilingus brought us closer
After my epic failure, we have been on pause for our playtime.  I was therefore starting to get quite randy.  I mentioned to Suzy that I needed to feel a "love connection" (I think I got that terminology from a Bruce Springsteen song; but on reflection, I got it a bit wrong.  His lyric is "love reaction", I believe the song is "Dancing in the Dark".  Alas, I needed either a love connection or a love reaction).  She was nice and flirty all day yesterday, which was getting me excited for a playtime last night. 

She was doing a bunch of errands and I was getting tired.  I decided to do a little re-reading of my book "She Comes First".  I don't really recall a lot of the techniques from the book; the main message I got was that to be a good lover, a male should focus on the woman's pleasure first.  That fits pretty nicely into a FLR, whether we have one or not (we've had ups and downs, and the latest down was clearly my fault).

At any rate, I skimmed the "technical" material for cunnilingus techniques, and I thought I would try some of them out for our "love connection".  This was as a result from a mild rebuke from her on my skills at oral lovemaking.  So really, I am in remedial cunnilingus now.  I hope I improve my grades.
Should say, "I will give her good head".

I think it helped.  The author suggests putting a pillow under her bum (which I did) and to use the flat of my tongue a lot during the initial excitement/foreplay phase.  I also made sure that I was comfortable, but moving her head at one corner so that I can have a good bit of the rest of the bed during my performance.  I also feel like her verbal feedback was key to the success of the endeavor.  She moaned and made other yummy sounds constantly.  That is very reinforcing to a sub like me.  It helped me to focus and to understand that she was enjoying my time down between her legs.  I also used a very steady tongue stroke, as she complains that when she gets close, I tend to go overboard.  She seems to like a steady, constant pressure and rhythm. 
I don't think she is going to forget last night's female pleasure extravaganza.
Well, I know I won't!

Her scent is typically stronger before and after her period (and she just finished it, probably the day before).  It really didn't bother me at all though.  She smelled and tasted sexy.  I enjoyed the entire experience.  I attempted some of the techniques (well, the ones I had a chance to review) and went for it.  We had success: she came and it was exciting for both of us.  She really didn't speak at all afterwords, and I caressed her body during her orgasmic afterglow.  She seemed to enjoy that.  Actually, I think she gave a rather business-like "thank you" and then went to bed.  We were both quite tired, although I didn't sleep well.

*  *  *  *  *
So there you have it.  We got a nice "love connection" and I feel closer to her as a result.  And, for the moment, I am doing well in my remedial cunnilingus.  I hope I can keep my grades up =P

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Epic Fail

I think I would prefer to take a blow to the head over disappointing my dominant wife.

Things had been shaping up really nicely for me, as a submissive husband.  We were sexting, my Domme Queen had given me a command to buy a new punishment device and had promised my ass would be in pain.  Not only that, I was locked in my chastity device at her command.  We had everything going for us.  She was loving the idea of dominating me, and I was about to get dominated.  We were cruising to a female domination / male submission nirvana.

Until I failed miserably, described in my wife's post.
"Do not follow her lead when he craves her to dominate him: 1"
We have had some follow on discussions, and things may not be back to where they had been Friday evening for some time.  I blame myself.  I hope that my Queen forgives me and gives our FLR another chance.

From her perspective, she has given me many chances.  Without a doubt, communication is the most challenging aspect of any relationship, and more so with a female lead one (IMO).
Yep, that's me: in the submissive husband doghouse.
Communication is difficult.  It was difficult for me to tell her that I wanted her to take charge and dominate me, sexually.  I thought she was going to freak.  I use this blog to try to explain my fantasies, and some of them, I don't really feel like she "gets"; or more likely, she needs some time to get comfortable with my perverted ideas.  I do know that I have a strong desire to be dominated, and I am sure that if I hadn't screwed up, I would have had the time of my life Saturday night.  I hate "what if..." scenarios, but it sure sounded like it was going to be epic and blog-worthy.

Fuck.

Oh well.  I guess I need to try to learn from my mistakes and try to create an environment where she will feel comfortable going back to the frame of mind she had last Friday.

*  *  *  *  *
Suzy allowed me to be unlocked this morning, although it was not as ceremonious or sexy as past unlockings, in light of the circumstances.  I spent two days and two nights locked, and I did pretty well in the Birdlock device this time.  I exclusively peed sitting down.  For reasons I can't entirely explain, when locked in the CB-6000, peeing was really difficult when I was sitting, but is actually easier with the Birdlock.  I guess with chastity devices, men need some time to figure out the kinks (so to speak) and then can enjoy being locked at their Mistress' pleasure.  Not sure what my next release might look like, or my next chastity period, for that matter.  Hopefully, I can win back Suzy's confidence and she can give me the ass-whipping I deserve (and crave).

Friday, April 6, 2012

Suzy's Gives me an Assignment

My libido has been down lately, due to work related stressors.  I was hoping to play with Suzy Wednesday night since it had been a few days since either of us climaxed.  We haven't yet watched the latest episode of Desperate Housewives, and we've talked about doing that.  I could be wrong, but I think she "gets some" every time we watch that show.

I came home very frazzled.  I had an idea of what I wanted to make for dinner, and got it started.  Then Suzy said, "I have an assignment for you tonight" (actually, she might have said it in the plural).  I was very curious, as it seemed like it would be a sexual assignment, by her tone.  I had to run to the store to get a critical ingredient we were missing, and then I came back and she asked where her Starbucks was.  I did not bring her one.  It was a case where my frazzlement was resulting in me saying and doing all the wrong things, from a submissive male perspective.  I was focused on getting dinner out as soon as possible.

She then informed me that my assignment was to lock up in my chastity belt Thursday night.  I became erect, just at the thought of being locked and at the assertiveness of her command.  She clearly saw my "adjustment" in my groin and seemed pleased.  It sounded as if this was a punishment for not texting her this week.  I am learning my lesson.

Suzy had to go to the store later and I used that as an opportunity to put my Birdlock male chastity device on my cock.  I couldn't find the lock that came with it, so I used the CB-6000 padlock, which fit fine, although it is a bigger lock.  When she got home, I got up and kissed her and pulled my pants down to show her my confinement.  I stripped naked, and she felt me up nicely, we kissed a bit, and then she happily locked me up.  She used the term "indefinitely" - uh oh.

I am quite turned on when Suzy actually pushes the lock in.
Unfortunately, we didn't play last night.  Suzy had some more work stuff to do, and told me to go to bed.  She said that she was going to come up late and indicated she would like to climax.  I laid out her Hitachi vibrator so that it would be easier for her to masturbate.

*  *  *  *  *

When I woke up, straining from my morning erection, I was quite turned on by our situation.  I went to find her, and we hugged.  I asked her if she had climaxed last night, and she said she did, that it was a long and powerful orgasm.  I mentioned the "double standard", that I am so turned on by her masturbating and she is so upset when I masturbate (by the way, I really can't remember the last time I masturbated).  She sort of sighed and indicated that she prefers me to "take care of her", but implied that last night was out of necessity: that she needed an orgasm and that she had to do it herself only because she was up so late.  I asked her if we could play tonight and she said, "if you're good".  Now that's motivation!!


slave screams he thinks he knows what he wants slave screams thinks he has something to say slave screams he hears but doesn’t want to listen slave screams he’s being beat into submission
Suzy holds the key to her cock.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sexy fun with male thongs

We had a few days without sex play, mainly due to my poor sleep.  We did some pretty heavy sexting and innuendos all day Sunday, so I was pretty hopeful that we would have some adult playtime.  We did, and it was very fun.

My Queen is soliciting advice for better cunnilingus techniques on her blog.  I try my best, but I admit I have room for improvement.  I will have more to say on that later.  Suzy came in and I asked her if she wanted me to go down on her.  She said she did not (she is near her period); we did some nice kissing/foreplay and then I fingered her pussy and got the Hitachi vibrator for her clitoris.  She was quite wet (always nice to discover) and she came relatively quickly.  I suppose that is some affirmation that I did my job and got her nice and warmed up.  Yay female orgasms!
We enjoyed our fun time with my new thong...
but Queen Suzy was in charge of the clasps

Suzy commented on how nice it was that I had a strong erection.  I was quite horny, and her wetness helped in my own sexual arousal.  We had a bit of "pillow talk", trying to figure out what she had in mind for me.  I first asked the question, "what does my Mistress think I deserve" and then realized a better question was "what would amuse my Mistress the most?"  I had been a pretty darn good husband, if I say so myself.  I was hoping for an orgasm but cognizant that it was up to her to decide. 

Suzy asked me what I had in mind.  I mentioned that I really craved her to dominate me, to inflict some pain and that I was hoping to come.  She caressed my body quite a bit, and complimented me on my muscular development, specifically my lats (back muscles) and abs.  I have been working on those quite a bit, so I was very gratified that she noticed and commented.  I feel pretty strong now, but I still have some bodyfat to lose. 
I love it when my Mistress examines my muscular development and makes comments about it.
She continued exploring my body.  I am normally nude when she comes to bed, but last night I was wearing my new "breakaway thong".  She made a comment that it didn't cover much (true) and that she teased me that it was constraining my cock.  She undid one of the clasps and my erection was still entrapped by the skimpy undergarment.  She teased me really well, implying that my release was being held back by my underwear and not her.  She pinched and flicked my nipples some, which was really turning me on.  For some reason, I was really craving pain and she then turned her attention to my balls.  It really felt great.
I very much like the idea that I am a piece of meat for Suzy's amusement
My erection was visible but still encased into the garment.  She teased me verbally about this situation, implying that the thong was going to keep me chaste.  My erection was simply not powerful enough to move the fabric aside.  She then decided to remove the other clasp, exposing my very erect cock.  She said that I could come inside her and I quickly moved to enter her.

I lasted a bit longer than I have been lately.  I had a powerful orgasm inside her.

*  *  *  *  *
What turned me on so much about this session is that I was craving her to dominant me, to inflict pain on me, and she did.  It was a very extended session, like a long, long foreplay session.  Even though I was "clothed" the majority of the time, it very much felt like my body was on display and she was really working me.  I loved it, and I love my Queen.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Anal Play, Part 1

Having my ass, scrotum, and perineum tickled is...awesome.
I am not ashamed to say that I am an anal lover.  We discovered anal eroticism even before we were married, long before we knew about the joys of female dominance.  When Suzy was my girlfriend, she got "frisky" and started lightly tickling my anal area.  The sensations were unlike anything I've felt before.  I was shocked at this new sensation and loved it. 

Anal caressing
We have called the light fingertip caressing "spider legs".  It is the type of movement that you can do to elicit goosebumps.  I use this technique for foreplay almost every sex session we have.  Basically, I work up along her side and then around her breast and into her armpit and arm area.  I enjoy the reaction I get when I do this, and it usually works to get Suzy "in the mood".
Suzy used her "spider legs" around my anal opening that fateful night.  I took to it like a duck to water.  It was like trying a new drink or tasting a new dish for the first time: I couldn't get enough of it.

It turns out that there are a huge number of nerve endings around the anal area.  The sensations are therefore very intense.  When she does this play, I am highly aroused and consider it highly sexual in nature.  But I almost always lose my erection.  She will sometimes stroke my cock to keep me hard and then go back to my ass, but I will lose my erection.  Or, she will sometimes use this anal caressing to be "nice" after she has smacked my balls.  While the feelings are intense, I do not believe I could climax from this stimulation.  I have orgasmed with her only playing with my balls, but the balls are after all connected to my cock.  So maybe that is not too surprising.

I believe this is exhibit A for experimenting with sexuality.  I think if she had told me, "I'm going to play with your asshole; let me know if you like it", I might have said "hell no".  I am forever grateful that she just dove in and experimented with this.

Anal penetration
Ass play has physical and psychological ramifications.
I enjoy the feeling of her lubing up and penetrating me.  It is erotic on a lot of levels.  Firstly, there is the role reversal, that I am the one being penetrated.  Secondly, there is the position that I take in order to be relaxed and accept the invading entity (her gloved finger or the aneros prostate massager we have... and I am certainly open to trying other toys as well).  Normally, I am on my knees with my ass in the air, although we have done this with my tied up, spread eagle.  The physical act of her giving foreplay to my opening (I rather dislike the term "asshole"... any better suggestions?), coaxing it to accept the penetration is quite arousing to me.  Lastly, the stimulation on my prostate is arousing.  I have read about men that can climax from prostate stimulation, but I don't think I am there yet... I think it would require additional practice to even see if I can get there.  The last time she penetrated me, I definitely had the sensation of needed to pee.
Prostate play is very amendable to medical fantasies (I have one drafted, and hope to publish later this week).  My doc gives me the finger to check out my prostate.  I don't find this arousing in the slightest.  I wouldn't mind if Suzy watched the doctor examine it, and it would even be funny if she asked questions or asked for tips about it.  My wife watched my vasectomy, why not my "male wellness" exam?  LOL, that probably won't happen.  Nonetheless, I definitely fantasize about her being a doctor that focuses on my prostate.

I would like to try "prostate milking".  This is a fetish that involves massaging the prostate to the point that the semen stored there actually gets coaxed out through its normal channel but because the muscle spasms that accompany orgasm are not present (she is not stimulated my cock, but my internal sex organs), orgasmic pleasure is bypassed.  I guess this appeals to me on a few fronts.  It is a way to clear out my prostate (a good thing) but keeping me in a state of lust for her.  It would be similar to a ruined orgasm, but probably more work for her.  All you have to do to ruin an orgasm is to stop stroking the cock.  Plus, this appeals to me in the sense that I am an experimental subject; she is just using me as a toy to explore raw male sexuality.  I am a piece of meat for her.