Sunday, January 29, 2012

CFNM: clothes for the woman

The way Suzy dresses is important to me - men tend to be very visual creatures and I am no exception.  My sense is that it has become more important to me as we have been married together.  I don't have a ready explanation for that, but it is something that is appealing to me.  CFNM (clothed female, naked male) represents a way that I can submit to her and she can dominate me.  I am not so much humiliated by this - I am proud of my body even though I am getting up in years :( - but rather it makes me feel very vulnerable and submissive to her.

Typically when she wants to play, she will come out in a sexy nighty.  If she doesn't want to play, she will wear flannel or some over sized shirt.  Her "sexy nighties" do not hold her ample breasts very well.  She often "pops out" of them.  Oh, how I love her boobs!  I digress.

I have been fantasizing more about extending this CFNM fantasy.  The main thing would be to have her in a professional outfit, like a woman's business suit.  Something she would wear to work on an extra special day.  In the meantime, I would be naked, and she would spank me, tease me, give me a handjob, whatever.  Perhaps she wears a skirt with no panties and after dominating me for some time, simply raises them and asks me to penetrate or lick her.  Very hot!

I wanted to give a sense as to what types of women's clothing I find to be sexy:

I don't believe I am a foot or shoe fetish person.  But I admit I think Suzy's feet are sexy.  They are so little and adorable.  I am aroused when she wears high heels and I hear the loud clanking of the heels as she walks on our tile.  It just sounds like authority.  I don't think Suzy wears high heels much, but frankly I am turned on by them.  I would like to have sex with Suzy when she keeps her shoes on.  There is something primitive about that - we are so into sex that I don't even have time to take my shoes off, lol.
The "fuck me" pump.  A timeless female accessory.
I became fixated on women's gloves when I saw Madonna's Material girl video.  It turns out this is a recreation of a Marilyn Monroe movie.  I think long women's gloves evoke an authoritative, classy, and sophisticated look.  I am turned on by Suzy giving me a hand job with gloves on.  I bought her some sexy gloves at our local adult toy shop, but I don't think she's worn them.  I hope Suzy can play "dress up" with these someday.
Long gloves are a real turn on.
Sports bra
I don't have particular opinions about bras, except for sport-bras.  I find female athletes (Suzy was a basketball player, and that factored into how we met) to be sexy.  Suzy may be a little self-conscious when she is working out in the mornings (she has told me not to watch her), but I find the outfits she wears hot.  Sports bra's seem very sexy to me.  It tells me, "I know I have big breasts, and I am serious athlete, so I need to contain them so I can compete".  I have shared role-playing fantasies before, and most things that involve role-reversals are arousing to me.  So how about this one, Suzy: you are a pro female athlete (tennis, perhaps?) and I am a journalist trying to interview you after your victory.  Well, let's just say you sexually harass me?  That would be hot!

Sports bras are sexy and, to me, seem to imply a
certain power.
Combination of cleavage and necklace
I am mega-turned on when Suzy teases me with the chastity key.  I think it is fun when she has this out in a visible location, like a necklace.  This has become quite a trend, as I have seen many women wearing key necklaces.  I guess if she were ever asked about it, she could say that it was the "key to her lover's heart".  It doesn't necessarily have to be a key; but any charm or pendent can accentuate her cleavage. 
As part time male chastity players, the key has
a very symbolic, powerful benefit.  I love it when
Suzy shows this off; that is the power of the key
and her ample cleavage.  An unbeatable combo!

Thigh high boots
Suzy has a pair of boots like this.  I think what turns me on about them is that it is covering up something that doesn't really need to be covered up.  That adds to the mystery and allure.  They are very sexy though. 

Thigh high boots, especially those with heels are very sexy;
possibly because what they cover doesn't seem to need covering.

Full dress
Let's face it: we rarely get dressed up much anymore.  As a result, it is different and sexy when Suzy wears a full dress.  I love it when it shows her cleavage and has a low back too... so I can caress her skin.  I love the sleeveless look (perhaps some long gloves would work here!).  At any rate, the formality of it is sexy:

I am no fashion buff, but dresses evoke some sort of celebration: at a wedding, graduation, or some other special event.
Similar to the thigh high boots motif, but much more feminine.  Very sexy.  Held up with a garter belt?  Even sexier!

Stocking just seem so feminine.

Oh, how I love it when Suzy wears thongs!  Suzy has said things like, why bother wearing this, if it is just going to come off?  To me, a woman that wears something sexy is telling someone - the world or her lover - that she is a sexual being; confident, and proud of her sexuality.  As I have mentioned before, confidence is sexy!  Thongs are so sexy because they are so directed in what they cover.  They leave her ass very open to fondling.  I agree, they don't last very long on her!  It is so arousing when she wears them!
When Suzy wears thongs, I get the sense that it's "just for me".
They won't stay on for long!

*  *  *  *  *
I think that being a domme requires preparation.  Knowing how to push your sub's buttons is one aspect of it.  For a very visual minded male, I can attest that what Suzy wears is very important to me.  It is accentuated by my own nudity and vulnerability.  I hope we can explore this fetish further.

Inspecting her goods.
Not really relevant to this post, but I came across it and liked it.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Suzy's massage

My Queen Suzy has been disciplined around her workout routine.  To encourage her, I gave her a gift card to a local massage place that she has never been to before.  She was very excited about this.  I want to be clear, that this was not intended to be a sexual thing.  I felt like a natural reward for physical activity is a massage.  I typically massage her, but I don't think I am as good as a professional masseur. 

As I had blogged about before, we had a "couples massage" some time ago and both the staff were guys.  I had a fat hairy guy and she had a younger "stud".  That imbalance turned me on.  I believe that she was nude, or close to it.  I believe she said he touched her ass some.  That was in the beginnings of our malesub/femdom play.  It was something she giggled about.  She subsequently teased me a bit about it.
Never Say Never Again: Bond "infiltrates" a women's spa to get to his nemesis' girlfriend.  There is some innuendo that occurs, and she tells him some necessary info as he massages her; then, the 'normal' masseuse come in, of course.  He flees.
I think she likes the idea that another male is touching her body.  I know I find it a turnon.  She is getting a massage today, and to cut to the chase, she chose a male masseur.  She seemed pretty excited that it was a male.  I am quite turned on by this.  I am interested to hear about how it goes.  While she get nude?  Topless?  Will he touch her ass?  If she is going after her lower back, will she say to him, "lower", suggesting that he get to her bum?  Will she flirt with him some?  A subhub can only wonder at this point.  I feel like I am being two-faced here; I had noble purposes in getting her this massage, but to be honest, I didn't really think that she would get a masseur.  She did, and now it is arousing me.
*  *  *  *  *
In any event, I will hear about it sometime tomorrow.  In the mean time, I will let my testosterone-fueled fantasy assume that she is enjoying her time with this male.

Sort of a departure from the CFNM fantasy... where is he looking, anyway?

Friday, January 27, 2012

Grrrr, ladies first, dummy!

I screwed up again.  Maybe the first time was amusing, but I don't find this stuff amusing anymore.  Not with my behavior, with premature ejaculation.

My beautiful bride gently awoke me out of my half-slumber last night.  She said I "was wearing too many clothes" and I took my shorts off.  She fondled me and I quickly became erect.  She was wearing one of her "sexy nighties" and I was getting turned on.  After a while, she got on top of me.  No nipple sucking like last time, but I definitely could feel her large breasts against my chest.  She began thrusting and then she paused, to lick my nipples.  What a turn on!  She was doing it all!  Foreplay, woman on top, sexy outfit, the whole nine yards.  She was getting going, then... I reached the point of no return.

Dammit.  I couldn't stop it at that point.  I came, it was really a great orgasm too.  She told me afterwards that she was almost there.  I feel really bad.  I don't know what's coming over me.  I had NEVER come from the woman on top position before.  Now, I can hold out at all.  I feel that she is disappointed in me.  I feel I have a "problem" with this.

I did help to "finish" her off with the Hitachi.  Her orgasm was intense, it was incredibly long and she seemed to be in ecstasy.  I am happy with that.

How can I last longer?  I feel guilt and frustration over my lack of control.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

CFNM: "clothes" for the male

I think CFNM (clothed female, naked male) is one of my strongest kinks.  As I have told Suzy repeatedly, it is NOT that I don't enjoy her being naked.  I do.  But me being naked and vulnerable and her being in the more dominant clothed position is thrilling to me.  When we are having sex and she is wearing a bra, it is like an extra tease.  I love her breasts and find them sexy, and denying me that awesome view is arousing.  There is that power imbalance that I love so much.  I think early in our relationship, there was some sort of shame around our being naked.  Suffice it to say that in our first apartment - pre kids - we did not walk around naked all the time.  We would generally undress ourselves and slip under the covers, do our thing and probably the most exposed part of our lovemaking was Suzy's breasts (sans bra, they are really quite hard to miss!).

It takes a lot of strength to be a Knight.
devotedsub said:

Model Christy Turlington : Photographer Herb Ritts ~ Valentino 1995 
Herb Ritts was known for his black and white photos and portraits of similar style to the sculpture of classical Greece.
CFNM is very erotic; I wish I had that kind of body.
Way before our femdom play days, I had told her that I found it arousing for her to undress me.  I wouldn't have been able to articulate it then, but I must have enjoyed the overt aggressive and desire for sex play that undressing your partner represents.  Kind of along the lines of "I want you NOW and I will make it happen because you are going too slow for my taste!".  Not only that, but there is a bit of a power exchange in that act.  Access to one's genitals is highly restricted.  Only SHE can take my clothes off, and I could stop her, but I don't because I want her to do that to me.  I am submitting, if you will, to her desire for my goodies.
I couldn't find a good image of a woman taking a man's
pants off.  This is close; I guess I like the nonchalance
of the man here, letting her do whatever she wants.
Very hot to me!

I don't know where she stands with the idea of stripping me.  I still fancy it.

I enjoy wearing male thongs, if there is some sexual play coming up.  I would rather not wear them on a normal work day, and it would be embarrasing in the locker room.  The feeling of the thin strip up my butt crack just seems naughty and sexy.  A big component of this is when Suzy knows I am wearing a thong.  It's "our little secret".  Anyway, I bought a nice "breakaway" thong over the internet.  I have tried it on for sizing purposes.  It fits nicely.  I have some other "breakaway" thongs but the sides are fastened by velcro and therefore are a bit flimsy and less sexy than the clasps that this thong has.  It is a grey color, maybe not super sexy but I don't think that matters much.  At any rate, I am excited to wear this thong with Suzy.  I very much like the idea of being tied up spread eagle on the bed, undergoing some teasing and possible a female orgasm, and then Suzy teasing me with removing my thong to get to some skin to skin action with her cock.  I very much hope this happens.
I feel sexy in thongs... and I like the idea that if Suzy wants to play
with her cock, she has easy access.  It can get awkward to remove
'regular' underwear in the heat of the moment. 

In addition, I would like to have some minimalistic "clothes" to explore during our playtime.  I have never been into cowboy stuff, but I very much like the idea of wearing chaps.  I think they are sexy because they are covering up the nonsexual parts and leaving the genitals exposed.  Hot!  At one time, I had some cheap and old sweatpants and I cut out a section so that my genitals could be exposed.  Frankly, the concept that I am mostly clothed but my genitals fully exposed is very appealing to me.  Like those "cat suits" that have crotch access.
The minimalist approach to male clothing
is a turn-on.  I would lose the briefs, though.

For some reason, those tiny bicep bands that NFL players wear are sexy to me.  They kind of seem pointless (how much moisture could they absorb?) but they remind me of slave shackles.  Perhaps they function as a tourniquet to get veiny.  Non-functional clothes that don't really cover much are intriguing to me.  Think the Chippendale's outfit.  That little bow tie... it is kind of pointless without a shirt. I like that, though.
These bicep bands seem pointless, but they are sexy, IMO
The use of "clothes" that don't cover anything is sexy to me.
Note the lack of chest hair... seems like what women want.

Monday, January 23, 2012


Let me set the scene for our play session last night.  We had some heavy duty verbal teasing about the cuckolding fantasy most of the weekend.  I had been locked in my new chastity device, the Birdlocked, for 48 hours but we had not had a lot of physical teasing with me being locked.  I had not been getting a lot of sleep due to this excitement.  We had exchanged a lot of sext messages, so I think we were both very worked up going into our Sunday night massage/Desperate Housewives festivities.  She told me that she was wearing her "access denied" thong in the morning (btw, it is one sexy thong, very much complimenting the awesomeness of her booty).

As I massaged my bride, I got some unmistakable appreciation for the breast stimulation I was providing; she was almost shaking whenever I navigated the circumference of her lusciousness.  My wife has a large bust and I love her breasts.  But they are very mysterious in terms of when they like to be played with; it most likely has to do with her cycle, and I certainly cannot predict it.  There is a "suck my nipples and squeeze them hard" window and there is a "leave them alone" window.  Fortunately, last night was the former.
Last night did not involve cunnilingus, as suggested here;
but it was an all you can eat night for breast play!

After the show was over, we began kissing very passionately.  There was an urgency and a primacy to our lip-locking.  I was on top of her and "thrusting" with my locked cock.  She then lifted up her shirt and told me to get to work on her nipples.  Our breast play lasted for a long time.  We alternated between suckling each boob, my hands usually on both of them, and then returning to French kissing.  There was a lot of tongue work going on.  This passion lasted for some time.  I was turned on by her being in charge not only of my cock but of the progress of the playtime.  I really liked how she would on occasion give me direction that I needed to suck harder.
Last night, it was all about her breasts!

My Queen then moved to being on top.  How I love this!  For a sub, her controlling the action by being on top is very exciting.  I love how she lowers the breast she wants to be attended to into my eager mouth.  That went on for a while, with added kissing breaks.  I did not realize this at the time, but she was wearing the key to my chastity device on a necklace, which I find to be very hot.  She started "going down" my body, spending a generous amount of time licking my nipples.  Last night was different in that we don't usually spend a lot of time on my nipples.  She stimulated them a lot, which I found to be very arousing.  I am glad I remove my chest hair ~ maybe this is the dividend for that?  Ha!  She moved down, stimulating my body until she got to my genitals, and then very erotically unlocked me from the necklace.  I took off the device and she then moved back to kissing and breast play and male nipple play.  It was a "breastfest".
With a healthy bit of attention to my nipples.

She asked me to take off her "access denied" thong because she said that the access to her pussy was no longer being denied.  I really love this kind of dirty talking.  It was just so hot.  Not only did we have a tremendous passionate session, but she was clearly in charge of the session.  I loved it.

She lowered her pussy onto my erect cock.  It felt great to be inside her warm awesomeness.  She began the initial rocking to get everything all lubed up and then - BANG - I had reached the point of no return. I thrust in her to complete my climax.  There are two ways to interpret this episode of premature ejaculation:

  • I was embarrassed.  I really can't remember the last time that I had climaxed before Suzy.  It doesn't seem very natural for that to occur.  And really, there was not much penetration involved.  My endurance was just terrible.  But to put it into some perspective, I had been denied sex for a week, in a physical chastity device for two full days, a lot of hard core teasing and sexting, and we had an extremely exciting amount of foreplay.  But, come on, dude.  Wife on top sex is what you live for!
  • Suzy was tickled at this event.  This was the first time I had ever come from wife on top sex.  She felt powerful.  She forced me to come in a position I don't under normal circumstances come from.  She was turned on that she had turned me on so much that I was jelly in her hands.  I think she was very proud of her sexual prowess.
Suzy was "on top" for much of the action.  I revel in her power over me, which
now includes the ability to make me come from this position.

There was some laughter and banter about this unexpected event.  Since she was still on top, her "creampie" or my semen inside her pussy starting oozing out.  It was messy, just as sex is supposed to be ;-)  She said that she needed an orgasm now, and that she wanted me to finger her.  I must say that I had never fingered her pussy with so much wetness.  Our love juices combined for awesome warm lube for me to finger her pussy with our Hitachi working her clitoris.  She came very hard.

*  *  *  *  *

She teased me about working me up for "round 2" but unfortunately that didn't happen.  I was so tired from sleep deprivation that I just crashed.  I don't really remember much about how I feel asleep, but it was the best sleep I had had in a long while.  What a great night.  We both had a lot of fun.  She reiterated something that I had said in an email: "isn't sex fun?".  Yes, it is!  I wonder what she has in store for this week.  She said her desire for intensive breast stimulation coincides with the nearness of her period.  Will she want to take this time to "train" me to have better stamina?  We shall see!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Unexpected cuckolding discussion

I was taken aback by a comment Suzy made to me at a (public) coffee shop.  She had said that she was looking at some blogs and specifically read a blog about cuckolding.  She seemed interested.  I don't know if this was a tease she was doing to me (which would make me happy) or if she had developed a genuine interest in this particular blog or this kink (also would make me happy).  I don't even know what blog she is referring to, although she hinted that this couple's particular application of cuckolding was not something she would want.  I feel like I am prone to putting words in her mouth, so I will try not to over-analyze.  I did sense that she was intrigued by the idea of playing with another male.  She has shown some interest in the past as well.  Instead, I will discuss my reaction to her comments.
Sometimes I am caught off guard by my public!
I almost instantly became hard.  While her comment was brief, I kept thinking about it, and developed several erections over the course of our conversation.  Did I mention this was in public?  She recognized that I was in "need of an adjustment" over the tent in my pants.  She was understanding about it and asked if I was able to get up to leave the coffee shop or if we needed to wait longer.

I tried to bring it up again once we were back in our vehicle, but she would have none of it.  Conversation dropped.
I struggle with discussing this sort of (ultra) kink with Suzy.  We have reached a pretty good place in that I feel comfortable communicating my kinky desires with her, but I also don't want to overdue it, to appear to be topping from the bottom, or pressuring her.  I have some issues with cuckolding myself, but I do find it to be very arousing.  Like other aspects of my femdom desires, I don't completely understand it myself.  Why would a husband give his blessing to have his wife have sex with other men?  Here are my thoughts:

  • I am turned on by the inequity of cuckolding.  That is, that she can play with others but I am to remain faithful/monogamous.  As I have stated in prior posts, sex is 90% mental, and this "double standard" - even if not taken advantage of - is a big turn on to me as a sub.
  • Two men determined to maximize her sexual pleasure is just hot.
  • Mechanically, a single male is limited in resources he can provide.  For example, when I am massaging Suzy, I can focus on her back or stimulating her sides/breast/armpit/neck (she really enjoys this stimulation).  It would excite me to have another male to help pleasure her simultaneously, with an endless variety.  I would think that having both breasts sucked on would be a real overwhelming turnon for Suzy.  Or, I could massage her back and neck while the other male massages her feet.
  • I would love to watch Suzy being sexually pleasured.  When I am performing the sex act, I usually have my eyes closed, or if I want to come quickly, I will look Suzy in the eyes or look at her breasts.  I am so turned on by her sounds and sexiness that I come very quickly when I take it in.  I am a voyeur.  The closest I can get to this is when I apply a vibrator to her and watch her writhe in pleasure during her climax.  It would really turn me on to just watch Suzy being sexually pleasured.
I am the first to admit that this is an "out there" fantasy.  I don't think it would work out, there are a lot of complications that would come into play.  I suppose that I would just leave with telling Suzy that this fantasy is something that turns me on and if she is interested, I am too.

Part of what excites me about "cuckolding" or "hotwifing"
is the double standard.

*  *  *  *  *
Should Suzy warm up to the idea, I think it would be important to have a good communication in how this might work.  For example, it may be best to set some general ground rules.  Taking it slowly - perhaps meeting the stud for drinks to make sure we are comfortable with playing; or, having a young buck assist in a full body massage and then he leaves and I pleasure her more.  Something like that.  Instead of intercourse, we could "entertain" her by jerking off.
Nerve racking fantasy!!
I wrote that a bit ago.  I think one function of being locked in chastity is my sexual desire and fantasies become more intense.  For example, I am thinking about this more.  Perhaps there will be more to say about this!

Saturday, January 21, 2012


I received a text Friday afternoon that said, "your package came today".  I was busy wrapping up things at work, but my reaction was to think "don't you mean YOUR package came today"?  In the hustle and bustle of the week, I barely squeaked out the time to order our new male chastity device on Wednesday.  I ordered it from "", and it arrived in only two days.  My Queen and I almost seemed like kids that just got a cool toy for Christmas.  I could tell that she was very interested in trying it out.  We had a "date night" that night and she seemed conflicted as to whether she should let me come Friday night.  She said it was "up to me".  After we got back and the kids were on their way to being asleep, I disrobed and opened our "little present".  I had made her a martini and had intended this to be a bit of a show for her.  I knew it would be next to impossible to install a new device in front of my Bride's presence.  Well, I gave it a try.  After I opened the silicone sheath, I tossed it to her for inspection.  She seemed to like the squishiness of it.  She had a big grin on her face.  I made some effort to put it on, but then said to her that most men recommend putting it on in the shower.  I think it has to do with relaxing the scrotum to make it easier to fit into the device.

It goes on "cock ring" style and it would have been very difficult to put it on outside the shower, especially for a novice.  I got it on.  It was pretty easy to figure out where things go, although it didn't look exactly right when I left the shower to model it for her.  I don't think I have it correctly lubed or lotioned for long term wear.  Her indecisiveness around whether I should ejaculate quickly turned decisive.  Decisively negative.  She put the lock on.  She looked at me very lovingly as she clicked the lock.  She probably used the term, "be careful what you wish for" several times.  I find it very very hot when my wife clicks the lock of an anti-erection chastity device.  What a woman!

Suzy needed some time to finish her martini and check email and such.  I went downstairs and made a Manhattan and checked the femdom blogosphere.  I went up and she emerged from the bathroom in a sexy nighty.  We cuddled and I pressed my encased cock against her body, asking her how that felt.  Now, bear in mind it's moments like these that made her dislike the CB-6000.  She hates the hardness of it against her body.  She said that she liked the feeling of the silicon.  Cue another, "be careful what you wish for".  We made love, but my cock was not a factor.  She did reference her enjoyment of my erections, but always referring to it in the future tense. 

*  *  *  *  *

She enjoyed an intense orgasm and then we cuddled together.  I can't sleep, thus I am blogging about this.  I do not know where the keys to the device are.  She seems to like this play.  Have I created a monster?  Or, in the cartoon above, a femdom superhero with magical powers of intense female orgasms and the ability to prevent male orgasms?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Coming Together

I always relish time to talk to Suzy 1:1
We had a great day yesterday.  Even though we had a generous Christmas vacation, we also had a day off due to Martin Luther King birthday.  It was very much a lazy day.  But what made it great was that I had some robust feedback from Suzy.  She was particularly open to discussion.  I didn't want the conversation to end.  In most cases when we need to have an adult conversation, our own tiredness gets in the way or we get constant interuptions from a child.  That was not the case yesterday.  In this candid discussion, I basically went through yesterday's post before I posted it.  I got some direct feedback from Suzy, which was great.
She surprised me by being pretty direct about wanting to try another male chastity device.  I had been looking at the Birdlocked.  I get some mixed feelings on the reviews I have read.  In a nutshell, Suzy does not like the hardness of the CB-6000.  As a result, she views it as suitable only for times we are physically apart, which is very rare.  She had given me the go-ahead to look into a softer CB, and this seems like it would do the trick.  She may not mind cuddling with this one.  She seemed enthusiastic about it (uh-oh) and even suggested that I run to the local adult toy shop to get it today.  I explained to her that they don't carry chastity belts and she seemed disappointed.  I visualized us walking in as a couple and suzy asking "where are the male chastity devices" and then criticizing them for why they wouldn't carry such devices.  LOL.  I was a bit caught off guard by this interest in chastity.  She seems to want it now.
My cock could soon be encassed in this silicone cage
known as the Birdlock.
We had an impromptu date at a coffee shop, which was very full.  We had to talk in coded language, but she had at that time reviewed my prior post and commented on it in full.  I got a lot of wife feedback yesterday!  We came up with a plan for last night in that we were going to watch Desperate Housewives and I was going to rub her feet.  Then we would take it from there.  Suzy got a good 45 minute back and foot rub and then we played in our clean sheets.  She told me that she wanted some cock and we had very passionate sex, with lots of kissing and breast play.  Awesome.  I was trying to hold out as long as possible but when she said in a very sexy voice, "your cock is so much better then your finger", I lost it and we came together.  It was very sensual.  We both enjoyed it a lot.  In the heat of passion, I had forgotten to get a shirt/towel to protect from the seepage so we had a wet spot to deal with.  As they say, keep the fights clean and the sex dirty ;-)

*  *  *  *  *
I am proud of the points I laid out in the last post.  I think that is going to help us move forward with some clarity.  I think the key takeway is the importance of feedback.  Suzy wants feedback via the blog, especially in the context of when she tries newer things in the bedroom.  I explained to her that I also value feedback.  We both agree that we seem to be on the right track in terms of improving our communication and interactions with one another.  Hope it continues.
It's a tough world out there.  It's nice to be able to lean on your life partner.

Monday, January 16, 2012

What a sub wants, what a sub needs

I think my Queen Suzy is going through a bit of a soul-searching with regards to FLR.  We had a discussion about this a few days ago and did not really arrive at a conclusion as to what, if any, adjustments to make.  I have intentionally backed off to give her some space.  Complicating this circumstance is the fact that she is sick.  When Suzy is sick, she generally wants to be left alone.  I thought she was getting better, but I heard her cough a lot at night.
In spite of her illness, Suzy has persisted in her exercise routine and says she has lost 7 pounds.  Very nice!  We bought a $50 jog bra for her and I just wanted to say how proud I am that she is XL.  Am I worthy of such a rack?  I hope so!

My own routine has had ups and downs.  I am an avid reader of workout stuff and have been incorporating new lifts.  I am trying to follow the advice of mixing up your routine.  My weight has generally stayed the same, I still have about 10 pounds to lose.  But I am getting stronger.  I am a bit frustrated in my lack of progress on bench presses.

I digress.  I wanted to give Suzy food for thought as to how I feel about our femdom play.

Sex play is important to me
Like most (all?) men, sex is very important to me.  Apart from procreation, I think God invented sex for couples in order to maintain a strong bond between them.  Suzy and I were raised very differently and have pretty diverse views on things.  But it's difficult for me to be upset with her when we have a robust sex life.

A bit of nerdy nomenclature here: I frequently use the term "sex play" on this blog a lot.  For reasons that I can only speculate on, our sessions of cock/pussy penetration during our intimate times has dropped off a lot recently.  I think to some people, including Suzy, that is what sex is - male penetration.  I feel very bonded to her with "sex play" in many other ways.  If she ties me up, teases me, receives a powerful orgasm and leaves me with blue balls ~ I feel very bonded to her from that.  I recognize that she is going outside her comfort zone.  I realize that she is doing this out of love.  But to me, that creates the intimate bonding experience that I crave.  It is part of a satisfying sex life, even though that some people would say that we aren't engaged in sex per se.  I guess I would define sex as to when my dominant wife has indicated she is done with the session.
A robust sex life is very important to a marriage, IMO.  It creates a powerful
bonding experience and deepens our emotional connection.  By "sex" I mean
that Queen Suzy is sexual satisfied, embracing her dominance and my submission,
if we are playing that way...

Making your partner happy
I talk about how much I love her to be sexually happy.  I get a lot of subhub satisfaction from that.  But take another example.  Her oil change was due.  She was at a movie and I had some time I didn't know what to do with.  I thought I would just screw around some, but then I thought about how much she would appreciate it if I did it for her.  I had the opportunity, so I took it.  She was very appreciative.  But there is something more to it for me.  We went to a marriage retreat/seminar lately, and they used the term "be a student of your spouse".  I think that is solid advice.  I sensed intuitively that this was something she really didn't want to do.  I had an opportunity to take care of it for her.  it was a win-win.
Making your spouse happy is a noble goal.  I don't believe that people can't
change.  We are constantly growing and I am continuing to learn new things about
Suzy.  Who knew ball busting would make her horny?  Sometimes you just luck out.
Likewise, I am a kinky pervert.  I realize that Suzy goes out of her comfort zone at times.  I want her to know that I appreciate that.  A major point of this blog is to communicate my sexual desires to her.  There are some aspects that I think she actively enjoys (controlling my orgasm, cock and ball torture), some she will do on occasion (prostate play, spanking) and some that may or may not happen (doing me with a strapon).  It doesn't seem like she is comfortable discussing these sorts of things 1:1, but I am coming to realize that this blog is an important feedback mechanism for her.  It could help us to become students of each other.

There seems little doubt in my mind that I enjoy being the submissive partner and the power exchange that comes from our femdom play.  I think Suzy enjoys it too, but it seems like she needs to mull through what she wants.  In the past, she thought that reading Uniquely Rika would help her to clarify that.  I don't think that's every happened.  Even though the oil change deal was an intuition I had with her, I don't always intuitively understand her needs.  As a recent example, I did not know how important to her that blogging about our sexual experiences were to her with regards to affirming her, for lack of a better word, "performance".  I am thinking about drafting up a "femdom" contract and having her give feedback.  I think that would be helpful to me in better solidifying and clarifying what I can do as a sub to make her happier.

I am the kind of guy that gets annoyed that there are only 3 ways to get to work.  I crave variety.  I don't think I would be fulfilled with a missionary position 2x per week sex life.  I suspect that is why I am enjoying our female dominant / male submission role.  There are a lot of things to try out.  Shared experiences - even when they are awkward and unsuccessful - are great bonding experiences.  Sex doesn't always work out the way you intend it to.  My most embarrassing moment, sexually speaking, was one time as I was ejaculating in her pussy, I began to fart.  It "ruined" my orgasm because it was distracting and embarrassing, and it wasn't funny at the time.  But it is a bonding experience in the sense that we can laugh about it now.

Likewise, shared loving experiences are bound to be a positive for drawing us closer.  Right now, I am fantasizing about stepping up my experience of pain and CFNM play.  I enjoy her pushing my limits.  We have lots of toys that she can use to explore my pain threshold (errr, use of that electrical device thingy we bought, nipple torture and use of the clothespins generally, and the hot wax from the candles?).  I am intrigued by the concept of a "maintenance spanking", that some femdom couples use to reinforce who's in charge.  And I have really been fantasizing a lot about Suzy wearing a full on dress, with high heels and gloves (have I mentioned before how sexy I think long women's gloves are???)  and me being bound naked.  I may need to take a cold shower now.

Being naked and vulnerable before her - literally and figuratively - is a rush for me.  I enjoy
pushing the limits of our sex play, assessing our feelings about it, and making adjustments.
There is a lot of trust involved in this power exchange.  It is fun to give and receive feedback
and to increase our collective sexual satisfaction.  I feel like we are in a win-win situation:
I enjoy giving control to her and she seems to enjoy having it.  Pinch me - am I dreaming?

It is really therapeutic for me to reveal my deep, dark fantasies to her.  I felt a tremendous sense of relief when I "came out" to her and told her that I want to submit to her.  I have been harboring fantasies of her playing with another male for a while, and it is fun to openly discuss it, even if it never happens.  The marriage relationship should be the most open and honest one on this earth.  And being fully naked - physically and emotionally - before her is deeply satisfying to me.  It can be very scary, and I appreciate how accepting she is of that.
Whether or not Suzy chooses to employ the services of a hot, young stud is not
necessarily the point.  The point is that I feel very connected to her when I can
be open and honest to discuss these kinky fantasies with her.

*  *  *  *  *
I sort of feel like it's her move as to where things go.  Maybe things were too intense for her, maybe she was tired of juggling work and family life and 'dealing' with a submissive husband while she was sick.  I don't know.  I feel that given her comments the other night that she does not want me to initiate sex play. Not sure.  I am hoping for some feedback.  Did I mention that I enjoy making her happy?  What should I do?  An inquiring sub wants to know!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Male orgasm intensity

While "sex is for her pleasure" when we are playing with female dominance, sometimes I
get a turn at coming.  Here are my thoughts on what makes my orgasms more intense!

As for my orgasm, I have a (little) more personal experience with them (lol). Note that these are general guidelines and I can think of exceptions. And note that I myself can't distinguish between correlation and causation (the science nerd in me has to come out sometime):

  • I have come to acknowledge that 90% of sex is mental. As much as I wish it were so, there is just way more to sexual pleasure than getting a certain amount of friction on my cock and exploding into her. I am not just a cock, but a male with feelings (lol).
  • I believe that the pleasure I experience from orgasm is directly related to the length of time of the session. In other words, the longer we play, the better my climax. When Suzy "edges" me - meaning, she gets me close to orgasm repeatedly - I usually come in spades. When we have a long, extended role play, where there is a lot of sexual tension, I also come very hard. Males have a reputation of just wanting to come, but if I am honest with myself, slow and steady wins the race. I suppose that a long, hot session where Suzy has multiple orgasms and I am repeatedly close to coming and finally come at the end, is the best.
  • I highly enjoy simultaneous cock/ball or cock/perineum/anus stimulation. This is like the claim of the P-90X (muscle confusion). When I get genital confusion, I get great orgasms. When we were first married, our 'typical' sex session involved me penetrating her pussy and withdrawing when I was ready to spurt. She would finish the job by jacking me off and holding my balls. Awesome ~ I loved that!  The same goes for my anal area. It is highly sensitive, and having the intense sensations of my cock and my butt makes for an intense climax. Along these lines, Suzy has given me fantastic orgasms by confusing my genitals with a pain/pleasure combination. She strokes my cock and slaps my balls. She threatens that the longer I go, the harder she will hurt my balls. I usually come very hard when she does that.  We have a rubber whip toy that sometimes she will use on my balls during man on top penetration.  I love that.
  • Suzy is great at dirty talking. I am a very audio guy when it comes to sex. Suzy usually dirty talks when I am on top penetrating her. She will usually say something about my big cock, how it is about to explode, and how big my load is going to be, and how my semen will be "dripping" out of her for the next day.  I greatly enjoy dirty talking and it hastens my orgasms.
  • That leads me to another point. This is pretty much an iron clad rule. The more semen I ejaculate the more intense my orgasm is. A way to increase semen output is to get close to orgasm (get all those pre-cum juices flowing!) and stop. That tends to stimulate the production of seminal fluids and when you do blow your load, there is, well, more to blow.
  • Generally speaking, my orgasms are more powerful with handjobs. I think this is because I get the added stimulation of my scrotum (which I love ~ see above) as well as the feeling of lost control during a handjob. When I am penetrating Suzy, I am in more control of the orgasm and we don't have a great way of stimulating my balls during intercourse, except for that whip.  One time, Suzy was boderline mad that she couldn't find a comfortable way to hurt my balls during sex.  Maybe we need to try out more positions. 
  • Having said that, I have had great orgasms inside Suzy's pussy. There is no substitute for getting her wetness on my cock.  While orgasms can be more intense with handjobs, there is really no substitute for the intimacy of intercourse.
  • Novelty usually produces enhanced orgasms.  I am the kind of guy that is dissapointed that there are only three routes to get to work.  I like variety.  Suzy can be VERY creative and that in itself is exciting and results in powerful orgasms (if that's in the cards for me, of course).  Novelty could involve the use of a new toy, a role play, a different location, etc.  When we were newlyweds, we went to a fancy hotel in a quiet resort area.  I was so excited that my pre cum came through my underwear and the shorts that I was wearing.  I was younger then, but still...

I probably look bizarre when I come.
*  *  *  *  *
I'm curious if any of this resonates with my readers, or if there are additional things that you to do to enable a more powerful male orgasm.  I'm always willing to try, if Suzy concurs!  That might be a big IF!!!

As a bit of humor, here is a funny article on male orgasms:

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Male inspection

I recall as a youth watching Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I (not sure if there was every a part II, lol).  I'm sure it was rated R and therefore inappropriate for me to watch, but frankly many of the scenes went over my head.  I remember feeling "funny" during this scene.  The empress (Madeline Kahn?) selects her male escorts to the midnight orgy.  She seems to have certain criteria in mind and doesn't take long at all to decide which men to keep and which to discard.  The men appear to be nude from the waste down; I wonder if their packages had anything to do with her selection.  Also, what on earth would she do with all those men?  I count 7.  The scene doesn't really start until ~17 seconds into this YouTube clip:

It reminded me of the session we had on Jan 1 where I was bound fully nude and my Mistress "inspected" me. It really puts me in subspace to be fully nude and have her go over my body.  I don't know if that's her intent, but that's how I perceive it.  She is examining me.  I love it when she compliments me on my muscular development.  That alone makes me want to work harder to have a harder body for her.  I like feeling like a piece of meat =)

*  *  *  *  *

Suzy has been ill.  We have completely different responses to being sick.  She normally wants to be left alone and sleep as much as possible.  I became noticeably hornier (and that says a lot!!) when I am sick.  I am not sure why that is.  I guess it is a reaction that I feel physically bad, so I want to make up for it by feeling good from an orgasm.

That's not in the cards for now.  Suzy did allow a nice orgasm on Monday.  She did not touch me at all.  She just rolled over and went to bed.  Tuesday night, I went to bed really early, so no sex play.  Last night was really fun.  I was nude as she climbed into bed.  I had a tremendous hunger for her.  She was open to my caresses (thank you!!) and flipped over and started to grope me, but in a very slow, sensual manner.  I am glad that I had removed my chest hair, as she was resting her head on my chest.  I didn't know what to expect.  She roamed around my body and then found her way to my genitals.  She squeezed my balls ~ it felt so good, I started to moan, then she started to alternate between my cock and balls.  I was loving it.  After some time, she began to slap my balls.  I told her it felt so good and then she said she wasn't doing that for my pleasure, she wanted it to be painful.  True to her word, she stepped it up to the point where I was yelping.  I honestly don't know why this turns me on so much.  She stopped and rolled over.

I moved to cuddle her, and my erection poked against her body.  I was really hoping she could climax.  She then said that causing me that pain made her horny.  YES!!!

After her orgasm, I was in one of the deeper levels of subspace.  I told her that it really turned me on that she owned my cock and that even though I was very horny with a bad case of blue balls, I really loved the fact that she was controlling my orgasms.  She told me I should be careful what I wish for.  Yikes!  Help? 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Female Orgasm Intensity

I am a student of Queen Suzy's orgasms.
I wish to do my doctorate thesis on them
My mission is not so much to bring her
to orgasm; it's to make her orgasms
as intensely pleasureable for her as possible
As far as I know, my Mistress has never faked an orgasm;
but she is quite orgasmic, with a patient husband
As I tried to explain in a prior post, female orgasm intensity is something I can't quite put my finger on (pun intended).  I like to consider myself somewhat of a connoisseur of female orgasms, although there are clear obstacles to my complete understanding of them.  The fact of the matter is, there are things I *think* I can do to try to intensify Queen Suzy's orgasms, but I could be totally off base.  What I *think* helps intensify her pleasure are the following:

  • Lots of foreplay: usually the more worked up she is, the more intense her orgasms are.  Usually when I suck her nipples, she gets really turned on and wants an orgasm immediately.  The thing is, I don't really know when sucking her nips are something I can do.  My best guess is that it is related to her menstrual cycle and there are times when she enjoys it and times when she does not.  I do know my wife's nipples seem to be very sensitive.  Also with regard to foreplay, I can't go straight for the clit, or it will hurt; while hurting me is fun for all, hurting her helps nobody.
  • G-spot stimulation: When using a vibe on her clit, she has told me that she enjoys finger penetration.  This is something that has always been confusing to me, as I never really know how she likes it.  At the moment, it seems that a very slow motion is what she likes best.  Where I have a tendency to want to increase the intensity of my fingering as she approaches orgasm.  She does not like this.  Bad husband!   She has said that she enjoys the "out strokes" more than the "in strokes", which I can't really get my head around.
  • Groping: If I am not penetrating her vaginally during her orgasm (for example, if she is on her period), she seems to get off better if I roam my hands over her body.  She seems to enjoy inner thigh stimulation and breast stimulation the most.
  • Vibrator vs. "husband": She has told me that she has more intense orgasms when I finger her or during cunnlingus.  We do rely on the vibrator a bit, because we are tired parents and sometimes when sex play can happen, it is when we are both very tired.  I do prefer to finger her because it seems more successful.  It seems for us, cunnilingus is something that is more a foreplay tool than an orgasm mechanism.
  • Intercourse: She has only orgasmed from the woman on top "cowgirl" position.  Those orgasms are high risk, high reward.  They are very intense for her, but not always successful.
Getting her to the promised land is all about
choosing the right "app".
I love it when Suzy allows multiple orgasms
She always seems very satisfied in her womanly
ability to climax as much as she wants
*  *  *  *  *
Suzy allowed some play last night.  She is done with her period!  Yay!  She was very receptive to being touched and caressed and seemed to really enjoy her climax.  I love being her female orgasm donor!!

I have told Suzy that her orgasms are beautiful, like rainbows

and waterfalls

I love her orgasms and want them to be as intensly pleasurable as possible :)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Totally naked, baby, totally nude

The Talking Heads album "Naked" has a great line in it:
"Totally naked baby totally nude"; reminded me of my
vulnerable state during our last play session
I am a Talking Heads fan, and that is a line in one of their songs.  That is how I would describe the events of Sunday night.  I felt totally naked - baring my soul - in front of her.  I have a bit of a fetish for CFNM (clothed female, naked male).

Suzy first demanded that I massage her to her satisfaction.  I did.  She then explained what she needed for the session: a blindfold, a couple of paddles, and wrist restraints.  I got the supplies as I was told and first (with her help) bound my wrists together with the under the bed restraint wrist cuffs.  I think she would have preferred actual handcuffs, but that's what was available.  She then made me put the blindfold on, and she lead me to my closet area.  Little did I know that she had fashioned a device at the top of the closet to hold my bound hands while she had her way with me.  Adding to the scene was the fact that I was totally naked and I couldn't see her.  It was difficult to handle.

She began spanking me with the whips she had me to procure for her.  There is something extra submissive about being made to bring your mistress the implements of your torture.  She paid particular attention to my cock and balls.  It could be me, Queen Suzy, the excitement of the scene, or the novelty of me standing - but it seemed like she was whipping me harder than normal.  Especially with the blows to my cock and balls.  I was quite excited.  She played with my nipples.  She "inspected" my body, checking for my physical reactions and commenting on my erection.  She occasionally squeezed my balls and grasped my cock, more for her examination of her slave than for any sexual pleasure.  This "examination" was a real turn on.  It made me feel like I was an toy for her enjoyment, and really added to my desire to submit to her.  I suppose I am a masochist.  It turns me on to receive this pain, but I think her pushing my limits is what really arouses me.  It's about trust.
My hands were bound above my head, giving
Queen Suzy access to all sides of my body.
Except I was blindfolded and couldn't see things coming.
After a rotation of various spanking/whipping devices, my Mistress decided she needed an orgasm.  She left me at the one side of our bedroom and lay on the bed at the opposite side - a good ways away.  She used the Hitachi Magic Wand and taunted me with some nice dirty talk.  I was still blindfolded and naked.  She made it clear that she expected me to remain erect and that if I wasn't still hard she would initiate additional torture.  It was weird, I couldn't really tell if I was erect or not, because I was blindfolded.  She discussed the benefits of having additional hard cocks to play with while I was "out of action" for the moment.  It was a real turn on.  She came and then did her extended "post orgasm basking", remarking how nice it was that she didn't have to worry about dealing with her submissive husband while she really took the time to relax after her climax.

She then got up and did a little more torturing.  She didn't allow me to kiss her or touch her.  She arranged for my bound hands to be freed and then led me to the bed.  Once there, she helped me out of the wrist restraints and told me I could take off the blindfold.  She was clothed, but wearing a sexy nighty.  She gave me an option on how I would come and I went with "handjob".  For a sub, it is very exciting when your Mistress is directing you to come.  It was a very exciting orgasm.  After a very exciting session.

*  *  *  *  *
I let my Mistress down by taking too long to post this.  I want to praise her for her creativity with this session and her dominance over me.  For a submissive husband like myself, this was a scene of sexual nirvana.  I really enjoyed feeling totally naked and bare before her.  Nothing to hide.  For me, the standing and having my entire body exposed to her inspection and her spankings was a huge turn on.  I also enjoyed the mystery of being blindfolded.  I loved how she directed me to go to the area and directed me back to the bed.  It really put me in sub-space for her to literally lead me to where she wants me to go, not knowing where it is and what it entails.  The excitement of this power exchange is overwhelming.  I love the trust that is exhibited in this sort of play.  I love my Mistress!!

I was at Suzy's mercy at our last session