Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Sexy Halloween

I associate Halloween with a fair amount of debauchery.  Not only because of the dark nature of this "holiday" but because of the gratuitous eating, drinking, and hijinx.  And sex.  We spent a long time - longer than I would care to admit - shopping for costumes.  We wanted to have a paired couple costume, but coudn't find what we were looking for.  Many adult female costumes are overtly sexual.  My Queen can be coaxed to wear sexy outfits in our bedroom, but she does NOT want to wear anything sexy in public.  In fact, I am usually pretty blown away when she wears something that shows her (ample) cleavage.
A longstanding roleplaying fantasy
Somehow I think she will have her way

We originally wanted to be a paired movie couple, a princess and a pauper kind of costume.  Could only find a sexy version of this particular princess.  We thought about a knight/maiden costume, but she wasn't feeling it.  I have a big fantasy of being a prisoner or perp and her being a cop.  But the female cop costumes were way too sexy for public exposure.  We ended up with something ok, and we had a fun party.  But I do hope for something of a highly sexual, and male sub female dominant, in a roleplaying future.

Unfortunately, since our last play session, we have continued to fail to connect sexually.  Halloween for parents isn't always fun, lots of running around leads to very tired parents.  I don't know exactly what's in store for tonight, but I do hope we can connect on this very sexy holiday.

Pretty sure my Queen would be poking me a lot with that thing!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Submissive fitness part II: dominant female trainers

Kiana Tom, from Kiana's Flex Appeal
We've been pretty busy lately.  I have been doing well with my workouts and my abs are definitely getting "tighter".  I am down to 186 pounds even though I haven't been eating that well - lots of fast food because we have had little time to eat together as a family.  I guess what is saving me is that I have been pretty disciplined with my workouts.

Which leads me to two topics related to my submissive nature.  Before Queen Suzy went back to work, I was up long before anyone else in my household.  I typically will watch TV to try to wake up (I am NOT a morning person) while drinking my morning coffee.  An exercise show called "Kiana's Flex Appeal" caught my attention, for a number of reasons:

  • I found her exercise advice to be sound; I would actually incorporate some of her training methods in my own routine, with good success
  • She and her guests are attractive.  The women usually wear bikinis and the men wear only shorts and have neatly shaved, well-carved chests
  • The workouts are often on the beach in Hawaii.  Tough job!
"Drop and Give me 20!"
Kiana's attitude is what hits my submissive button.  She is in excellent shape and has a large chest - but she is very petite.  She clearly runs the show, though.  Often, she will lead the workout with two other hulking men maybe three times her size.  Even though some of these men are actually professional bodybuilders and have spent their time in the gym, she corrects them and tells them what to do and how to do their workouts better.  Not in a dominatrix, sexual way, but in a way that I find strangely intriguing.

This related to sex the other night.  We've had several "misses" in terms of sex play: I crashed early, she crashed early, so we weren't connecting sexually.  Suzy had sent me some sext messages complaining that I hadn't played with her.  So, I knew sex was on the agenda.  She had a beautiful orgasm and then it was time for me to penetrate her.  I prepped for sex (usually, I get a T-shirt or a towel to collect the upcoming mess - I wonder what other couples do?) and then she said "I need the pink paddle".  I fumbled around in our sex toy box in my closet, erect, and anticipating my orgasm.  I got it.  I started penetrating her slowly, as I was pretty turned on.  She then started smacking my ass with the paddle.  What really put me in subspace - and made me come almost immediately - was what she did next.  She told me I wasn't thrusting fast enough - and she demanded that I speed up and smacked me harder.  She said this in such a dominant, sexy way.  I came almost immediately.

*  *  *  *  *
I think there were a number of reasons why this turned me on so much. 
  • I have often fantasized about her verbally dictating what I do sexually.  In my fantasies, this would be saying something like "get between my legs, slave; my pussy isn't going to lick itself".  She has told me that she is not comfortable with that.  But that is in effect what she did - she complained about the way I was penetrating her and ordered me to do it better, to penetrate her harder.  HOT!!!
  • I think a key part of what turns me on is her being sexually aggressive.  Her text complaining that I hadn't played with her is aggressive - for her.  I still initiate most of our sex play.  But in effect, she was initiating this session.  I like this!
  • I enjoyed the ass swatting.  I have mentioned before that I really want to explore spanking more.  She told me to get the paddle, and she seemed to genuinely enjoy paddling my ass while I was having my fun.  The next day, she sexted me and said she didn't think she paddled me hard enough and that she needed to punish me more.  Wowsers!
  • Her attitude seemed similar to that of a "trainer".  She was training me to fuck better, the way she wants it.  Just as an athletic trainer such as Kiana tells her trainee what to do, and makes them work harder, so she was training me to be a better lover.  I hope to see more of that!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Submissive fitness, part I: positive reinforcement

This is what I aspire to fitness-wise: 6 packs
and becoming a "trophy husband" to Suzy

I have a great deal of interest in the topic of general fitness.  From time to time my wife and I will get on a kick where we will try fairly hard to lose weight.  We do the wrong things to reward ourselves: have a big fattening dessert because we "deserve it" after all that self-sacrifice.  I will indulge in too many high calorie cocktails or beer.  Basically, yo-yo dieting.
Since I am a manager, I study alot about psychology and realize that this is totally wrong.  Positive behavior definitely needs to be rewarded, but in ways that are consistent with the end goal.  A better way would be to reward in a way that is not counterproductive.  There are many examples, such as a massage, a spa day, a guilt free shopping trip, a ticket to a sporting event, etc.  And sex... that is positively rewarding!

You may have noticed that I have a fitness tracker on the right.  There are a couple of things that motivate me to become more fit:
  • I am approaching the wrong side of 40 and feel on the verge of a mid-life crisis
  • I had a sports-related injury several years ago which required significant intervention and rehab.  The physician answer to "how do I make this never happen again" was "get stronger".  Because I had to rehab anyway, I got to doing lots of weight bearing exercises and came to enjoy it.
  • I like the slight muscle soreness that comes from a workout.
  • I worry about ED and improved fitness can move things more in my favor in terms of getting the erections we both enjoy
  • Making my body more sexually desirable to my Queen
I suppose the last point is the "submissive" part.  Going back to positive reinforcement, it is very, VERY reinforcing when my Suzy compliments my body.  It makes me want to keep working harder and become more disciplined.
I love it when Suzy "inspects" my body
and is pleased with my hardware

I shaved my pubes and chest the night before and we played last night.  Suzy seemed very excited about my smoothness and felt me up.  I think a shaved chest and pubic area helps to accentuate a fit bod.  Have you ever noticed that fitness models and pro wrestlers are always shaved?

*  *  *  *  *

A misconception about subhubs is that they are wimpy.  I don't think I am, and I am stronger than most.  I don't think I have the genes to become really muscular, but I don't think people will want to mess with me either.  I am doing pretty well in my career now, and having a positive attitude about my body is something that helps.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Results of 7-day femdom challenge

Suzy had been enjoying being in charge of my orgasm while getting
plenty of her own.  I like this drawing because it seems like a wedding
day illustration of a female dominated relationship

We've been very busy lately, so I haven't had a lot of time to post.  I thought I'd give an update on our 7 day femdom challenge.  We made it to four consecutive days of female orgasms.  On the fifth day, she outlasted me in terms of staying awake.  Suzy still needs to spend a lot of outside time preparing for her work, and after a few days, I simply can't keep up with staying up so late.  My workout routine has been going pretty well, and I do need to get rest so that my body can fully recover.  Well, that's my excuse anyway.

Suzy implied that I would be locking up in the chastity belt for the weekend, since she was going on a girl's night out on Saturday.  But on Monday, she asked if I would lock up for the entire week, the implication being that I was to be locked during the entire challenge period - even on the day that I crashed early.  That was exciting to me, since Suzy isn't a huge fan of using the device.  Ironically, I had prepared a lengthy post on my thoughts around the CB-6000 that I wanted to post last week. 

However, I had a problem around day five that required that I take the device off prematurely with the emergency key.  I think that it was related to insufficient lubrication.  I woke up Friday morning with an uncharacteristically painful morning erection.  Normally, morning wood in the device doesn't hurt, but rather it's a pleasant reminder that I am a male.  I have ignored pain before to my detriment, so I unlocked to investigate.  My cock was deformed and looked like a big mushroom at the tip.  I was quite horrified.  Well, suffice it to say that I left the device off, told Suzy about it, and she agreed that I did the right thing in order to protect her cock.  After a few hours, my cock returned to normal.  Phew, catastrophe averted!

I will have to modify my chastity device posting a bit now.  I suspect (unfortunately) that use of the device will now go down even more... Suzy might sarcastically say that I "can't handle the device".  Another irony is that she was liking the lockup.  I was investigating the use of a device that wouldn't hurt her when we cuddled, and she was enthusiastic about that.  I suppose more on that later.  I have a bit more research to do, but feel like given the issue I had last week, we would need to discuss it more and Suzy would have to re-approve of such a purchase.

Leading up to this unfortunate event, I was having intense cuckolding fantasies.  I was to be locked in the chastity device for a week, while providing Suzy daily pleasure.  She was to go out dancing with her girlfriends, and needless to say, in my horny state, my mind wandered into thinking that some dude would dance with her.  Well, it didn't quite work out that way, but the fantasizing was fun.

My period of chastity was resolved by Suzy giving me an intense handjob.  She really was liberal with ball torture and it was quite exciting, I think for both of us.  My orgasm was intense - probably the best one I've had in a long time.

*  *  *  *  *

The play was really fun in spite of the obstacles.  Suzy enjoyed the "sex is for the wife's pleasure" play during the challenge, but she did indicate that for her it was getting to be somewhat of a chore.  A fun chore, mind you, but I not something that she was looking forward to after the fourth day or so.  I guess I will chock this up to the differences in the female libido.  She said - I think jokingly - that we would do challenge like this for me, seven days of seven male orgasms.  I would totally go for that!  When I brought it up again, she made me come back down to reality.  It doesn't seem like that is likely to happen.  Maybe for my birthday?


Monday, October 3, 2011

7-Day femdom challenge is on!

I discussed the seven day sex challenge with Suzy, and she ACCEPTED!!

I was really hoping that we would have some sex play Sunday evening.  While I pulled our sheets for a washing, Suzy teased, "why are you cleaning the sheets when they are just going to get dirty tonight?".  That made me think things were on, and I might ejaculate, since that really is the major source of sheet soiling.  Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned.  Suzy didn't get into bed until around 2am (technically Monday morning) but I could not sleep and by that point, I had waited too long to take a sleeping pill.

Suzy was surprised that I was still awake and I immediately began to kiss her and hold her, much like I wrote about last post.  I wanted her.  I was not nude but I had locked the door after she went into the bathroom to do her nightly routine, just in case she allowed some play.  I had in mind that she was going to say, "let's just cuddle", but she was fairly receptive to my kisses and seemed pleased that I was making an effort to embrace her.  She reached and played with my genitals first over my shorts and then underneath.  It felt so hot to have her began a handjob.  I was getting really aroused but I was pretty sure that this was a tease and that she wasn't going for an orgasm.  We were both excited and I made my move: I got on my knees and applied the Hitachi Magic Wand to her panty-covered pussy.  Suzy continued to grope at my balls and then enjoyed an earth-shattering climax, much to my (our) satisfaction.  Up until this point, our play was silent; she brok that silence by saying "wow, that was awesome; why do I resist that pleasure?".  I think I mentioned that in my last blog.

An orgasm a day...makes for a relaxed
Suzy and a happy sub-hub.  Thank you
for that orgasm, Suzy, I needed that!!!
As she was basking in her orgasmic afterglow, I asked her if she had read my blog; she had not, and might not for some time (I will explain later; not important for this story).  I asked her if she would go for a "7 Day Femdom Challenge" and explained to her that it would be my job, for the next six days (our session that just ended counting toward the total of seven days), to relax her, provide foreplay to her, and enable her to come.  I didn't say anything about my orgasms.  She volunteered that she didn't want me to come until after my "lockup".  We had tentative plans (now seemingly more concrete) that I would be locked in chastity at a minimum when she goes out on her girls' night out on Saturday night.  She agreed that this would be a fun thing to try.  Game on!

Is 7 consecutive days of female pleasure a big deal?  Well, Tamara seemed to think so (from her comment in my last post, which I greatly appreciated)!  What makes this challenging is that my Queen sometimes rejects sex play outright on consecutive nights.  As I often lament, life "gets in the way" a lot and so getting her available for play will be tough.  For example, since Suzy stayed up so late last night, she will be prone to falling asleep very early tonight.  I will have to be clever to circumvent that and pull this off.  Physically, she is very capable of the orgasms.

*  *  *  *  *
Suzy made some interesting comments while we were talking.  As I've blogged before, we both enjoy the risk of her squeezing my genitals while she climaxes.  She really "lets go" during her orgasms so she can squeeze HARD.  She has alternated between my cock and my balls.  Out of the blue, she blurted out that she liked squeezing my balls better during her climaxes because "it brings you more pain".  I thought that was a very hot and very dominant thing to say!  I guess my balls are on the line now! 

She also made a comment about my impending lockup period that surprised me.  She has always maintained that locking up is not something that she seeks out but it is something she wants when we are away (which will be the case Saturday night) or when I can't be disciplined to keep my hands away from my cock.  The latter condition is usually mentioned in a negative tone.  Last night was different, and it was in a more positive tone.  She implied that I should lockup early if I needed to, but she seemed a lot more positive about it, suggesting that it might be fun if I was locked up for the whole week.  I will pursue this a little further with her; my understanding for now is that she expects me to lockup on Friday night and then she will unlock me when she unlocks me, probably Sunday night.  I guess our sheets are going to stay clean!
LOL - what an appropriate progression; Suzy clutches my balls with her hand, squeezing involuntarily.
She made it clear that she likes the possibility of hurting my boys - it's a risk she's willing to take

Saturday, October 1, 2011

She dominates me, she dominates me not

She dominates me, she dominates me not
I would say that we are still in a "holding pattern" on the development of our FLR.  I have been fantasizing a lot about being locked in chastity and being spanked by my Queen.  It is hard for me to be patient.  I have a desire, a craving to submit to Suzy and her to dominate me.  I realize that I need to focus on what is within my control.  What can I do?  Pamper her, and try to make her happy.  I have had some nice wins lately.  I served her breakfast in bed recently.  A long time ago, I bought a coffee mug that said "I <3 my husband", just as a nice subliminal hint to her, lol.  I have brought her Starbucks and picked things up for her.  I have been behaving a lot better.

Maybe when the kids leave our nest...
I'm pretty sure that she is going to use that spatula on his ass!
The reduced sex play lately has been frustrating.  With giving Suzy the control over my orgasms, I wish that she had unlimited ones.  Playing with her, achieving a quality erection and undergoing a tease while she climaxes is satisfying to me.  That makes me happy.  Really, nothing bad comes from Suzy's orgasms.  It's all good.  Because life happens, we wind up in circumstances where we do not have that intimate play.  Nobody's fault, it's just life happening.  For example, Suzy stayed up late one night and then crashed early the next night.  I did the same, it's just that our sleeping cycles were totally out of synch, so no sex play.  I have a voracious appetite for sex - I would like to have some sexual contact every night.  I have read about some "challenges" where a couple agrees to have sex every night for some defined period, whether they are in the mood or not!  I am definitely up for that sort of challenge.  I suppose the femdom version of that is that the wife climaxes every night for that defined period of time, and the submissive hubby's release is, well, separate from that challenge (maybe he comes, maybe not... but the challenge is to have daily orgasms for the woman).

Through no fault of Suzy's my past two orgasms have been...substandard.  I don't know why this is, perhaps I have lost my mojo.  Suzy gave me a handjob where I ejaculated but did not feel a rush of pleasure that normally comes from a climax.  It sort of just snuck up on me.  I had the pleasant orgasm afterglow and the reduction in horniness, so I know it wasn't a "ruined orgasm".  I just never really felt the buildup and release.  The next time, Suzy allowed penetration (after she climaxed, of course) and I came really soon.  I am really worried about my premature ejaculation.  I feel less of a man.  I have been reading things here and there to try to "fix" this.  But I'll say it: I am not happy with my stamina.

Alas, now to the title of this post.  With these femdom cravings building up, I came out and asked Suzy: "are you still interested in an FLR?".  I admit this was not the best time to ask, as we were all in our morning routines.  I was confused by her response.  Then, I had a rare occasion that I was receiving texts from work, and she texted me a message that indicated Friday was going to be "about the wife" or something along those lines.  I got an erection when I read it.  She did some nice teasing during dinner prep and I thought that we would have some sex play.

We did, and it was PASSIONATE.  We aren't big "kissers".  But we were kissing like horny teenagers last night.  It was hot.  I wanted to go down on her, but she had panties and long (but sexy) pajamas on, and I could sense that she really needed to come.  While I am not always allowed to suck Suzy's breasts, when she does allow it, it usually turns her on and she wants to come right away.  Suzy firmly grabbed my cock (it was very firm, but very awesome!) and she had a terrific long, intense orgasm.  While my orgasms have been sub-par, Suzy's have been stellar lately.  In any case, Suzy and I cuddled and she teased me about how easily she was going to fall asleep and she hoped that I could.

*  *  *  *  *
It has been a long time since she has actively denied me.  I am very horny, wanting to get a strong, powerful orgasm to get my mojo back.  I don't know when that might occur.  I am hoping for more sex play tonight.  Our session was HOT and I love that passion that we had.  Suzy, are you up to a 7 day femdom sex challenge???
Artist: K.D. Pierre
Suzy has a girl's night out planned... lockup
time for her sub-hub?