Monday, August 8, 2011

Vanilla Appreciation


Our vacation was perfect....we recharged and reconnected as a family
 I had a chance to catch up on some of my blogs last night.  I was really tired, otherwise I should have posted something more substantial, since I was really thinking alot about the status of our wife lead marriage.

My mind is wandering a bit right now.  Our vacation was great.  I was really looking forward to having a lot of sex and I had a feeling it was going to be more on the vanilla side.  Even though I really enjoy submission to Suzy, and for her to dominate me, I do think from time to time that regular, vanilla sex is nice.  And it was.  I think we each had three orgasms and they were really very powerful.  I think we had fun.  One thing that struck with me during our drive back was for the last session we had, we did missionary sex and she used the whip on my balls as I ejaculated in her.  Compared to other recent sex play we've done, that was relatively tame.  Physically, it may not have been the best climax that I had, but psychologically it was extremely satisfying for me.  It seemed like an a-ha moment to me, in that I really enjoy, on a psychological level, her dominating me.  It felt so natural to me that after having some really satisfying vanilla sex, I interrupted our session to get a flogging instrument for her to whack at my balls as I came.  And it really seemed like she liked it too.

Our vacation helped me to both appreciate vanilla sex play...

So, where am I going with this?  I am saying I like having vanilla sex from time to time - that it is nice to take a bit of a break from our dominance/submission role playing - but the male submission and female domination that we have exploring is also us.  I don't think this is a contradiction, and I am curious to know Suzy's thoughts.

I have thought alot about Suzy's blog, the comments she's received on her posts, and where we might go from here.  I will be the first to admit that I am often very poor at reading Suzy, even though we have been married for 15+ years.  I would say that she seems to enjoy dominating me and she may be interested in taking more control over me.  She seems to enjoy getting feedback from her blog and wants to learn/share with other dominant women.  That makes me very excited.  I enjoy what I perceive to be Suzy's active interest in our sex play.  She has Uniquely Rika in her hands to review.  I think she is going to read this book (it's only about 100 pages) and then consider her next steps in terms of a more formal arrangement in dominating me.

...as well as help me to appreciate my wife's
 willingness to explore a femdom relationship.

This would include how she intends to punish me when I don't live up to her expectations.  I am excited but nervous about the punishment piece.  In our past play, she essentially rewarded me for when I was really good: when I bartended for her, when I watched the kids so she could party, etc.  She would reward me with cock and ball torture, spanking, lockup in the chastity device, orgasm denial, etc.  I suspect that won't change, but I can easily venture some guesses into what she might do to me that would be designed to truly punish me.  Would I be excited by this added control?  Or truly fearful of this punishment?

*  *  *  *  *

When I said that I don't always read Suzy right, I wasn't kidding.  It's entirely possible that she might feel like being a domme is "too much work".  When I first started reading male chastity forums, I thought it was kind of a joke that being a "keyholder" was a lot of work.  I actually think that's accurate.  There's a lot more to it than just wearing your hubby's chastity key around her neck.  Keeping a dominated male teased and interested and feeling loved takes a fair amount of attention and creativity.  As a horny male, I feel much needier.  During my week of chastity, it made all the difference in the world if she texted me and said something like "how's my locked subhub doing this morning?  thinking of me?"

What is Suzy thinking???
Likewise, I am really raring to go.  I want her to read the book and "make the rules".  I want to play sexually.  I want her to blog and read her comments on other blogs.  I am interested to know what role the chastity cage will play going forward.  What does she want my release schedule to look like?  What does she really think about a threesome/cuckolding?  What does she think about transitioning from female dominance play to vanilla sex and back to female dominance?  Should I be afraid, or excited about her burgeoning dominance of her husband?

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