Sunday, July 3, 2011

A reflection on a week's worth of tease and denial

I am just a submissive husband pawn to my Queen Suzy
 My last orgasm was June 22; it was a powerful one, the one that inspired Suzy to come herself after previously not being interested.  We embarked on a journey of tease and denial on June 26.  We have had four tease sessions and Suzy has had six orgasms during that time.  She allowed me to enter her pussy last night (she had been on her period for the rest of this time).  I can't recall the last time I had penetrated her.  Suzy was quite firm when she invited me into her pussy, saying "but don't come".  That really hit my submissive button.  I stroked probably a dozen or so times.  She was invitingly wet, I suppose from the groping and kissing that I preceded the invitation.  As I was slowly moving in and out I realized that I was not going to last that much longer.  I told her that I was close to coming and then she "kicked me out" of her pussy.  I don't really know how she does this (moving her legs somehow?) but it sort of signals: ok, your time here is up.  Thanks for playing.

At any rate, I thought I'd comment on what's going on in my sub head right now:

  • I relish giving her control.  The tool between my legs certainly feels like it is owned by her, not me.
  • I am being a "good boy" and not topping from the bottom.  I have probably had some near misses, but all in all Suzy agrees that I have behaved myself.  For the record, Suzy considers "offline" discussions about my desires OK, but any suggestions when the door is locked are likely not going to sit well with her.  This seemed to be a breakthrough moment for us, when this was clearly laid out.
  • I can relate to Batman in that I have a dual nature.  I really really want to come right now.  I am super horny.  But her control of my orgasms is super hot also.  If Suzy were to ask if I wanted to come, I would quickly say heck yea.  But her not asking me and deciding when I will eventually be released has me in deep submission to her.
  • I have been getting a lot of spontaneous erections.  Perhaps orgasm denial is a cure for impotence?  I just think about Suzy's dominance over me, and I get hard.
  • Sleep hasn't been so good.  For example, in our play last night, I was really tired.  I almost fell asleep while Suzy was doing her bed routine.  Then, after a play session, I am going 90 mph.  Yikes!
  • One thing Suzy has done that I think has helped me a lot is by telling me in advance, ok, I am going to be up late tonight, so no playing.  Just go to bed.  In the past, this has been a source of frustration.  I will wait, like a puppy dog, for her to get to bed, hoping we can have some playing and she either just doesn't come to bed or says that she is not interested.  I had indicated that we have had 4 teasing sessions in the past week.  The other days she told me in advance that we weren't going to play, and I used that to get caught up on sleep.  That really works well for me.
  • It is exciting to me that Suzy has a plan.  After our session last night, she indicated that for tonight, she wants some sex toys waiting for her to use on me.  So, she has clearly given this some thought.  That is a real turn on for me.  In addition to that, she seems to have my release session selected.  Again, she has a plan for her domination of me.  HOT!
  • I am super curious about the semen build up I have.  I don't know if I will be released via ejaculation into her pussy or by a handjob.  I suspect that I will really come hard, with a large volume of ejaculate and a long distance.
  • The horniness that I have has made my fantasies and thought very kinky.  I have thought about playing with other partners more.  We did have a discussion about cuckolding and Suzy did a great job teasing me about that last night as I was doing my post orgasm massage of her.  Her enjoyment of my denial but obvious interest in sex (and enjoyment of the penetration she allowed last night) makes my mind wander.  Deny hubby, but get the sex she needs from another male.  I feel like this is a fine line.  There are a lot of reasons that this is a bad idea, but I am trying to be open and honest with her about my fantasies.  I hope that if I am annoying her with the cuckolding fantasy, that she would gently tell me to slow it down.
  • Suzy seems to really enjoy my shaved chest.  She laid her head on it and gently stroked my chest and pubic area as we were talking after the session was over.  I don't know how difficult it is going to be to maintain, but I am getting a lot of positive reinforcement.  I was looking at some men's fitness magazines yesterday, and all the "fitness models" had shaved chests.  I am fine with doing that for Suzy, but I am a little worried about what other people would think.  I really need a tan to make it work, though.
  • My balls feel very full.  I am a bit nervous that this is a "be careful what you wish for" situation.  Suzy sometimes seems to refer to my eventual release with regret... but you won't be as lovey dovey to me anymore.  I hope that is not the case!
Just thought I'd jot some things down as to how things are feeling for me.  Thanks for reading.  Suzy really enjoys readers' comments.  Keep 'em coming!  Cheers!

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