Friday, July 15, 2011

Origins of Male Submission, or Why did it take me so long to confess my FLR interest?

Suzy asked me an interesting question the other day.  We were soon to be celebrating a wedding anniversary (high teens) and she was errr... fondling me in an aggressive manner.  Suzy has the tendency to ask either unrelated or difficult questions during our play times.  She noted that we had been married for quite a while until I "had the guts" to tell her about my desires to submit to her.  She remembered that I had many times in my childhood where dominant women made me "feel funny" (I was too naive to understand this at the time) but she was wondering how long, after I had connected the dots myself, did it take for me to discuss this with her.
This isn't what was on our wedding cake, but in hindsight it does seem like she wears the pants now.
Being as my mind was elsewhere, I couldn't immediately think of an answer.  I fumbled around something to the effect of "I saw something on a message board about FLR and it intrigued me".  My personality is such that I like to learn and explore new things.  That is one of my "strengths" if you are a reader of Marcus Buckingham management books.  I can easily sit in front of a computer and be lost for hours learning new things and trying to see how things are connected.  Wikipedia and Google blew my mind.

I digress. I suspect that I was looking at something related to sex (a major topic of interest for me) and it lead down the path of FLR.  I was pretty blown away by that.  I do recall that the topic of male chastity and cuckolding were two of the earlier topics that came up.  I was intrigued and did some research into that and found that those topics turned me on.  I purchased a CB-6000 from and tried to use it while my family was out of state (to see if it fit, etc.).  In hindsight I should have discussed this with her.

I am trying to think of other times in our married relationship that FLR themes were present.  Shortly after we were married, I was like a kid in a candy store, sex wise.  You mean we get to screw like rabbits, and society fully approves?  Awesome.  Well, for me not so much for her.  Her lack of orgasm caused me a pretty good bit of anxiety.  As the male, I felt like it was my obligation to sexually satisfy her.  And we went to a therapist a few times and I remember the book the therapist had recommend: Becoming Orgasmic.  I felt like I had a bit of a crisis on my hands if I was orgasming but my wife was not.  Enter the vibrator.  Suzy resisted its use at first, but once she was able to visit the promised land, she was A-OK with it.  And that was A-OK with me.

So, I think you could infer that the stress I went through in order to have my wife climax was a precursor to a propensity for FLR.  Ladies first.

Then there was the time where we first experimented with orgasm denial.  That was before I knew anything about FLR or orgasm denial.  I just thought it was very hot that I pleasured her and, due to our sleeping arrangements, it didn't really make sense for me to come.

Another one is that I love love love wife on top sex.  Why?  It's the only position where Suzy can climax from intercourse alone.  It's smokin' hot to be the man on the bottom.  She is lost in her own world, trying to get the stimulation right for her to orgasm.  That's pretty much all she is focused on - and it is super sexy.  Physically speaking, I enjoy the sensations, but I don't know that I have ever come from her being on top.  I think that psychologically, our experience with wife on top sex gave me associations with "sex is fun and it's fun making it last longer and her pleasure coming first, and not having my orgasm the focus of the session".  When she mounts me, I feel like it is "all about her" and that turns me on.  She is focused on trying to come.  And that's hot for me.  And I love how she plants her hands on my chest for leverage for stimulation - it makes me feel like she's using my body for her pleasure.  At some point along the way, I tried to stiffen up and "enhance" the experience.  She got mad at me and said "just lie there".  That was hot.  I have joked about this with her before: sometimes I feel like a human dildo!  At any rate, when she does climax from woman on top sex - even pre-FLR sex - she would climb off me and "bask in the glow".  I lie there hard as a rock and she needs some "time off" to take a break to enjoy her moment.  I think this reinforced that "sex is for the wife's pleasure" as being so exciting to me.
Wife on top...only good things can come from that!
Looking back on our married life, I realize that it's been quite a journey.  The world has changed a lot.  We have changed a lot.  I am A-OK with change.  It's worked for me so far.

*  *  *  *  *

I am not sure I have really answered Suzy's question.  Yes, I have always had some sort of interest in dominant females and me submitting to them.  I am sometimes slow and by the miracle of the internet, stumbled across some pieces of information that made things connect, on a psychological level, for me as far as FLR is concerned.  I maintain that I gravitated to those topics related to male submission because I was already predisposed to it.  I have enjoyed working it out with Suzy ever since.


  1. Wife on top sex is the best, for sure... some great posts lately Rooster!

  2. Mr. L2S,

    Thx. For me too, the change in sex being for her pleasure was tectonic and felt like a life long goal had been achieved. Now, that is just how it is. Sex is something that she has the privilege to enjoy and I have the privilege to participate in.


  3. Hi guys,
    thanks for the comment and kind words! We sure appreciate it!