Monday, April 18, 2011

Girl Talk, Part II

The website "she-makes-the-rules.com" (link on my home page, but you must register to see the forum) helped foster my interest in submitting to Suzy.  It gave me a glimpse into the dynamic of this type of relationship, the female lead relationship, and had a fair amount of kinky discussions (male chastity, orgasm denial, "sex is for the woman's pleasure", etc.).  I was fascinated with it and frankly it was the first message board group I had ever joined.  It was exciting to receive input from like minded men and dominant women.  I tried to get Suzy interested in the website and she delayed for a while.  She finally did enter an account and posted a question, for which she received many responses.  In the FLR world, a woman has like 10X the clout and interest than us boring submissive men.  The other women really encouraged her to get more involved and to become a "verified woman".

A "verified woman" is one who had proven herself a woman to the site's creator (I believe via phone interview) and doing so allowed one access to the "women's only" section of the forum as well as opening up another mysterious section.  For the former, everyone registered could theoretically view the content, but if the administrators caught a man popping his head in the section, he would likely be banned from the site.  Believe me, they took this very seriously.  The latter section is one that you can't even see (so, I don't know that it even exists, lol) that is only available to those women "verified".

SMTR is intended to be as "woman friendly" as possible.  These women only sections are to try to get women to feel more comfortable discussing FLR type things without worry of a surly man barging in on the discussion.  This is analogous to the "women only" gyms that presumably allow women to work out in their skimpy outfits without fear of men oogling them.
"Wow, I didn't realize a man could take that kind of pain... I'll have to try that out on my hubby tonight!"
At any rate, Suzy's initial participation on this FLR forum was very exciting to me.  She considered getting "verified" so that she could discuss matters with other dominant women without my knowledge.  Discussing how to better dominate me with other dominant women was, as I discussed in "Girl Talk, Part I", both exciting and a little scary to me.  What if she befriends a woman who encourages Suzy to dominate me more than I am comfortable?  More than I could take?  ARGH!  Be careful what you wish for!

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SMTR was a very interesting website that helped me to "discover" my interest in submitting to Suzy.  I enjoyed reading about others' sex lives and relationship dynamics and it certainly did give some ideas to explore.  Suzy has at various times suggested that reading about such kinky sex makes me kinky.  While I don't dispute that there is some truth to that, flipping it around and saying that I read kinky subject matter because I am kinky in the first place and therefore interested in kinkiness is also accurate.  Many submissive husbands are "into" cross dressing, wearing panties, carrying their wives' purse when shopping, female supremacy, financial domination, humiliation - to name a few - and I am not, even after reading about it.  I generally avoid those types of topics altogether.  I am reasonably fit man with a fair amount of body hair, and I am certain I would look stupid in female lingerie.  And I have no interest in being "feminized".  Not that there's anything wrong with that... it's just not my thing.  If Suzy was interested in that, I would try it because I love her.  But in those cases, I think it would be only because of her.  I would pretty much try anything, sexually speaking, if Suzy was interested in it.  But me being a woman is not my cup of tea.

SMTR has lost some of its appeal to me.  I don't log on as much as I used to, and I don't find it all that interesting when I do.  I am not putting it down, maybe it's just something that for me was interesting and exciting for a while, but there is nothing new for me to keep interested.  On the other hand, if Suzy rejoins the site....

Monday, April 4, 2011

Girl Talk, Part I

One of the many mysteries around women is what do they talk about when they are alone?  I remember the crazy ritual where women go to the restroom in pairs, thinking that they must be together because they need some sort of sisterly support.  How agonizing!  What do they say?

As I've mentioned other times, my wife goes out a bit with her girlfriends and I know that they do talk about their kids, their work, their husbands (mutual complaining, of course), and possibly sex.  My wife's friends are in their mid 30s to early 40s and I suppose that is a woman's sexual prime (at least it has been for my Suzy... no complaints here, though!).  They do seem like a pretty horny bunch of gals.  I am inferring this, of course, and every once in a while, Suzy will give me a glimpse of their banter.  I gather that they are about as crude as we men are, they are just more selective in who hears it.

I was rather excited because my wife's friend was planning a "Passion Party", meaning a get together with flowing wine and sex toys for purchase.  I was kind of excited that she was going (I'm always game to try a new sex toy, especially one she picks out!), and my mind was wandering as far as what it would be like.  What kind of things would slip out of those horny moms' mouths?  Suzy did not disappoint, and said something along the lines of, "we have a pretty extensive sex toy collection, I hope you have some new things for us to try".  The fact that my wife said this out loud to her friends was amazing to me.  It made me wonder if - and to what extent - she might talk about our sex life.  You have to understand that my wife is VERY uncomfortable about talking about sex to me... but I don't really know if she is comfortable talking about sex to her girlfriends.  Would she talk about my submissiveness to her in the bedroom?  Would she recommend to her close friends to try orgasm denial, ruined orgasms, prostate play, ball torture?

This topic approaches that fine line of excitement and nervousness that seems to be a big part in the submissive male mindset.  The fact that she might hint to her friends about our sex life is both mind bogglingly embarrassing and arousing.  She might be listening to her friend complaining about her husband, and she could (under influence of alcohol or a real desire to offer something that works), say something like, "it sounds like your hubby is probably jerking off too much... maybe you should look into a chastity belt for him".

I don't really have a lot of close male friends, and certainly none that I would talk to about sex.  It's not that I am uncomfortable about talking about sex, but rather I don't really have a relationship with a dude that warrants it.  But women are different.... they do talk like that.  I just don't know what Suzy talks about!

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Unfortunately, the Passion Party did not happen.  So no "do you have a strapon my size, I've really been thinking that I'd like to try taking hubby up the butt."  I'm not necessarily embarrassed about any of our sex play; it has really been a boon to our intimacy.  It would be potentially awkward to know that friend X has knowledge of our sex play; but ego-boosting if Suzy said that I am a caring considerate lover and I make sure that she has plenty of orgasms (which I do...).

It works for us. =)

Friday, April 1, 2011

Marital Masturbation

I have not had a lot of time to blog or read others' blogs lately.  We are a bit out of sorts on account of Spring Break related activities.  We had been apart for a few days (I hadn't thought of this, but that is the only time I am to be locked in a chastity cage... I wonder if I had brought the CB-6000 if Suzy would have wanted me locked...) and just re-connected (sort of).  We are having a bit of a family reunion of sorts and there really isn't much opportunity for sex play.  My wife playfully swats my balls as we cuddled each other to sleep, but really not much more than that.  To be truthful, I haven't really thought much about sex except at bed time.  I have been fantasizing a lot, mainly over variations of how she dominated me the last time we played.  Well, that's a bit changed, and I am super horny again.

Suzy had been on her period, and I asked her if she was back "in commission" (as opposed to being "out of commission", lol).  She said that she had "used her finger, just like you do", meaning, she had masturbated while we were apart.  I was instantly aroused at the thought of her taking matters into her own hands.  Several reasons: 
  • the thought of her masturbating is just hot to me.
  • the few times that she does masturbate (at least that she lets me in on), it's usually in the shower, with the water pressure over her clitoris bringing her to orgasm; I don't think she fingers her clit very often at all.
  • the "double standard": it is a bit of a paradox that she gets visibly angry at the thought of me jerking off but her masturbating is very hot to me.  One of my first posts (not yet completed and published) is on the thoughts around this "double standard".  I don't know if I will ever come to terms with this, but it is just something that arouses me.  Male masturbation seems messy and dirty and horribly wrong; but a woman masturbating seems sensual, beautiful, clean, and natural.
Her thoughts on me masturbating have fluctuated over the course of our relationship; most times she is totally opposed to it, but she has given me the green light from time to time (mainly so I leave her alone, I think).  I have masturbated for her a few times.  Not sure what she has thought about that, but it aroused me mainly because it is such a submissive thing to do.  She probably views her masturbation as only when I am not around to take care of her sexual needs for her, rather than something I would ever be allowed to watch.
Why does female masturbation seem so exciting and male masturbation seem so gross?
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I am glad that she told me about it.  I guess I enjoy that she is a sexual person and she is not afraid to address her sexual needs.  I don't think she will, but I would really like it if she talked to me more about it.  I don't finger her that often, but I know that - apart from her vibrators, which are automatic in getting her to the promised land - it is usually one of the more reliable ways to get her to climax, but it is a fair amount of work.  Sometimes I really have to work it to make sure she is lubricated.  But once properly wet, I can usually get her there.  It seems like a more reliable way for her to come than cunnilingus.  I would really like to watch her to this, to gauge her response and better guide my technique when I finger her.  Have I mentioned I love female orgasms?