I guess there are a couple ways I am "transparent" to Suzy. By transparent, I mean that I am honest and vulnerable. I will tell her my "straight up" thoughts and feelings instead of filtering it in an effort to manipulate her. This is not easy for men in general. Many times, my thoughts and fantasies are not in my "best interest". For example, I have desires for her to deny me orgasm when I am really quite horny. It doesn't "make sense" and maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and get laid. But I don't. I tell her that it turns me on; for example, that I really crave to be locked in a chastity cage during our lovemaking sessions or that the thought of her having sex with another younger stud excites me.
|Hard to contain the excitement when I am in front of Suzy|
I am physically transparent to her also. Being completely nude in her presence is very exciting to me. It feels as if I am being completely open to her, with nothing to hide. It feels like I am on a roller coaster - it's that exciting - the vulnerability of being naked in front of her and having my sexual excitement be so completely open to her. She has teased me when I am not erect (which is rare) and if we talk about sex fantasies (her having sex with another male, her telling me I'm about to have my balls smacked), my cock just doesn't lie - it stiffens. It could be that the contrast with Suzy adds to the excitement for me: it is difficult for me to tell when she's *really* turned on; I only know it for sure when I begin to play with her pussy and notice the wetness. That is thrilling. She is hard to read, I am an open book.
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That's what has been on my mind lately: how vulnerable I am being towards her. I'm not sure what she will do with it, always, but... I suppose that's the thrill... and as Chris Berman says: that's why we play the game!