Sunday, January 30, 2011

Vivid dream: locking ceremony

I seldom remember my dreams, so when I do it is usually a good thing.

As I've written before, we have a CB-6000 male chastity cage and have had some really hot times playing with it.  Suzy has decided that she does not want to play with it anymore because she does not like the feel of the plastic cage against her when she falls asleep.  She much prefers - some might even say requires - that my erection pokes against her as she is falling asleep.  She allows me to be caged under two circumstances: when I am unable to have the self discipline not to masturbate (being locked is preferable to jerking off); and when she and I are apart.

The latter case, where she and I sleep apart, is very rare.  There are two opportunities for that this year: she is going as a chaperone for an overnight (I'm not sure how many days) event for a child sometime in April or May, and she is going out of state to celebrate a girlfriend's Big 4-0.  Based on prior discussions with Suzy, my guess is that I will be locked up for these events.

My dream involved a formal chastity lockup ceremony.  The night before she is to leave, I would shave/trim myself and put the cage on but leaving the padlock itself unlocked.  I would present her with the key and she would say:

I am locking your cock, my property, in this male chastity device to make sure that you remain pure and chaste while I am away.  While I am gone, I expect you to think about me and strain to become erect in this cage frequently.  The incomplete erections you get are reminders that I am in control of this cock and you will not have an orgasm while I am away.  I expect that when I return, you will be extra horny and ready to please me.  I want to affirm that I have the freedom to orgasm and you do not.  As a reminder of my sexual liberty and your sexual submission to me, I am locking you up....

<and with that she closes the padlock on my chastity cage and she places the key around her neck>

... and now require that you bring me to orgasm with your tongue!

With that, she motioned me to lay down on the bed, and she straddles my face for me to service her until she climaxes.

One last pat goodbye before he goes off to work.

Indispensable pour tous les hommes. A vérifier chaque matin avant de partir travailler.
When we played with the chastity device, it really turned me on for her to snap the lock and to tease me with the key

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I am obviously very horny and I am hoping that we can play tonight!  I doubt in either case where we are apart she would masturbate... but a submissive husband can dream!  My Suzy doesn't masturbate per se (why would she, she has me for that!) but sometimes she gets herself off in the shower.  I would love to shower together to see how she does it, but she hides this act from me.  Sometimes she will merely state: I had a long shower this morning... a euphemism that she has had an aqua-orgasm.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Stepping up her control of my orgasms

We had some discussion as to her experiment with ruined orgasms.  I don't know what she expected but it appeared that since she observed a fair amount of ejaculate, that I had a "normal" orgasm.  I did not.  I had an achy feeling in my balls since I was not satisfied from the ruined one.  I asked her if we could have sex, and she said that she was not interested but would "take care of me".  I then asked if I could give her an orgasm and she said she didn't want one  but she would give me a handjob.  While I really wanted to see her climax, I was happy to go with a handjob if she was going to indulge that.

I got on the bed fully nude and waited for her.  She came in and we gently massaged each other.  It wasn't long before I was hard.  While she was jerking me off, we talked a little about the ruined orgasm.  She asked me questions and I answered as truthfully as I could.  I got that sense that she was going to give it another go - try to ruin this one to gather more intel on ruined orgasms.  She suggested that and then said that she wouldn't tonight.

She got me close to orgasm several times.  In the back of my mind, I was thinking that if I came really hard she would probably want to come herself.  That's happened a few times before, where she is turned on by my orgasm and changes her mind.  She was teasing me a lot, getting me close, then playing with my balls and then going really slowly on my cock.  It was really very pleasurable but she was obviously holding back on my climax.

After quite a bit of this teasing, she took her hand off my genitals, stood over me and said "I changed my mind.  I don't want you to orgasm, but I want to come now".  Wow.  I didn't see that coming!  I dutifully got up, shaking, and I asked her how she wanted to come.  She said she wanted the vibrator and I fumbled as fast as I could to get it out.  She had a tremendous orgasm, and I got my clothes on and cuddled her.  I did coax her into another orgasm later, but it didn't seem nearly as spectacular as the first.  She did a fair amount of verbal teasing about what a good orgasm she had and how she liked how affectionate I was when I was denied.

There you have it: I had a ruined/minimized orgasm, followed by an intense tease and denial session.  Not sure when I will come again!  Hoping we play tonight!

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Incidentally, as she was cleaning our bedroom, she came across a few dice that we had used in our first foray into orgasm denial.  Not sure if I had posed on this before, but essentially, she rolled a die and I couldn't come until she had had that many orgasm.  As she put the dice away, she went out of her way to wave it by my face and smiled.  Perhaps that game will be on again.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Ruined/Minimized Orgasm

Suzy had mentioned during a "pillow talk" session that she wanted to try "ruining" my orgasm.  She even went so far as to tell me that she wanted me to communicate to her when I am close to coming so that she would know.  This seems to be a common practice in the male chastity world to keep the male parts working but to deny the chaste male the pleasure of a complete release of orgasm.  I suspect she read about this on a male chastity forum.
In addition, Suzy was wearing her "denial" panties last night and I made a comment she didn't appreciate (unintentionally, but still, she was upset about it).  These three things: she wanted to experiment with this, she didn't want me to come, and I "misbehaved" should have clued me in that that's what was going to happen last night.

We started off with some cuddling and I kissed her some.  She was accepting of my affection (yay!) and she started to explore my body.  My heart skips a beat I get so excited when she caresses me.  The suspense of what stimulation she will give me has been mind blowing lately.  She started stroking my cock and I was trying to caress her back, but the pleasure I was getting made it hard for me to focus on her back.  She stroked my cock, pretty much the same as she would do with a regular handjob.  She kept going and I kept getting more and more aroused.  I told her I was getting close.  At one point, she stopped touching my cock and then she kind of sat up and I could tell she was smiling.  She was engaged in what she was doing, that's for sure.

She stroked me some more, still sitting up and providing a good deal of focus on what she was doing.  I told her I was about to come, and I felt the "point of no return" was imminent.  She let go of my cock just after I reached that point, and I ejaculated a pretty good quantity of semen.  But it wasn't that pleasurable and I know that I didn't have a "complete" orgasm.  It felt (my eyes were closed) like my cock was twitching uncontrollably in the air but I just didn't have that extra push to make it a pleasurable orgasm.  It felt good... the cock stimulation itself feels great.  It didn't hurt but it was really not satisfying.  After a regular orgasm, I really have no interest in sex and I am satiated.  I usually just clean up my mess and I cuddle Suzy and fall asleep holding her.  None of that happened.  I was wide awake and I was still horny... maybe a little less horny than before our session, but my libido didn't "crash" like it does post orgasm.
I expelled semen (ejaculated) but the orgasmic pleasure was not there

I wanted to give Suzy an orgasm after I cleaned up but she didn't want one.  Hopefully tonight!  I asked her about it a couple of times, and the only thing I got from her was that this was an experiment of sorts.  Perhaps she is evaluating my response between a flat out tease and denial versus a ruined or minimized orgasm.  I am not sure.

I have had unintentionally ruined orgasms before.  Suzy can fall asleep relatively easily and she has fallen asleep while giving me a hand job - at the moment of truth - before.  I was pretty frustrated at those times, but that was before we were playing with her being in charge of my cock.  I am curious to know her thoughts on this "experiment".

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Her favorite male concubine

Cleopatra being serviced by her favorite male concubine
 I am a bit of a history buff and I love role playing during sex.  Shall those two ever meet?  I hope so!  One fantasy I have is her being a ruler and me being a sex slave.  Good thing I came across this cartoon.  What I like about it is that the male slave is chained to the post right next to her throne.  That suggests he is one of her favorite slaves and that he is brought in for his oral services frequently.  I like how, even during the cunnilingus session, she maintains a firm grip on her ruling implements.  Heck, the one on her left looks like it could whip his ass is she is not happy with the tongue service!  He is kneeling before her, and clearly subservient, and he is naked and obviously aroused by his act of service to her.  Perhaps after she is through with him, his arms will go back to being restrained.

We had at times looked into getting some more role playing costumes.  In one of my prior posts, I mentioned that Suzy had a Catwoman outfit.  During that session, I was naked and had my hands tied up to a post in our basement.  I was "Batman" and was blindfolded.  She stimulated me and it drove me nuts that I couldn't tell where it was coming.  In fact, sensory deprivation is something I have been fantasizing a lot about.  I have shared my desire for her to gag me with our ball gag and then give me a torture session, with me just trusting that she will know how far to go.  I love being tied up and unable to move.

Back to the original topic, I definitely would like Suzy to wear some sort of Cleopatra outfit and perhaps me wearing some sort of handcuff of leash or something.  Costumes are very hot!  Let's see, she has a sexy pirate costume from a few Halloweens ago.... what else?  An Indian Princess?

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

2011 Sex Resolutions

One important sex book I have read is Ian Kerner's "She Comes First".  My recollection from the book is essentially this:
  • Not many women can climax from penetration alone.  Of those that can, many have partners that can't last as long to get them there.
  • As a result, to be better sex partners, men should perform cunnilingus on their partners, bringing them to orgasm first, before male stimulation.  He suggest that instead of oral sex being "foreplay" it should really be the main event of partner sex, "coreplay".
  • After the woman has received her sexual adoration, then move on towards pleasure of the man.  By doing so, the male will be viewed as a better sex partner and the woman will be more fulfilled.  She comes first.
  • I recall a fairly lengthy discussion around the clitoris and how impressive it is.  I knew that it has no other biological purpose than sexual pleasure.  I hadn't realized that the clitoris is a fairly large and complex organ and there's more to it than just that little nub that I feel when I am going down on Suzy.  In short, the clitoris is awesome.
Well, She does come first!  Note the banana left by itself in the background....

I hadn't realized the complexity of the clitoris.  My tongue only reaches the "glans clitoris"but that sexual powerhouse "has legs" to it!!!
Kerner also writes a sex column for, and this one caught my attention.  It can be found here:

I thought it would be fun to go through this to see where I shape up.  Here goes:

Have sex at least once a week
Well, duh.  I would like to have sex every day.  Sex is free (except for our fairly extensive sex toy collection, lol), it's fun, and it's good for you.  I feel incredibly bonded and connected to Suzy when we've had sex play.  Sex is best when you let your guard down and tell your partner your most intimate thoughts and desires ~ no holding back.  Why wouldn't you have sex every day?  Well, life gets in the way.  You get tired.  You have to make it happen.  My guess is that a couple years ago, we had sex on average twice a week.  I am guessing that it's now something like 3 or 4 times per week at our peak, when all is right.  Awesome.

Engage in Choreplay
The idea here is that men get more tail if they help around the house.  Several studies have shown this.  I think I do my fair share around the house, so I am good on this one.

Go for 20 second hugs
Hugs stimulate oxytocin, which is a hormone associated with bonding.  Oxytocin floods a new mom's system; nature's way to ensure she cares for the newborn.  I am a pretty affectionate hubby and dad, so I think I'm good on this one.

Take a Porn Break
The article discusses that men who watch porn jerk off a lot and that saps them for partner sex.  I haven't masturbated in a long time, so I don't think that's a big problem.  Suzy doesn't want me watching porn.  We have seen a few porn movies together.  When I made my last purchase at the adult toy store, there was a section on "female friendly porn" right at the cash register.  There is a line of adult films by Playgirl.  I have never seen one of these, but my guess is that it focuses more on the woman's pleasure and that the men are probably "hunky".  I would be interested in watching this with her, but I don't think it's going to happen.  I don't think Suzy likes the idea of me seeing women.  Maybe she would go for gay porn?  That wouldn't turn me on, but her?

Be More Positive
I need help here.  I tend to be a bit pessimistic and stressed.  I am working on this.

Spend at least 21 minutes on foreplay
The odds of a woman climaxing go up significantly with increased foreplay.  I suspect that it isn't always 21 minutes, but she does get a fair amount of foreplay in most cases.  My foreplay is usually enjoying her orgasms.  I am rock hard when she comes.  I also read an article in Men's Health (or Fitness) that basically stated that a woman's ability to orgasm also goes up substantially with each different sex act performed.  That is to say, if you change positions and do cunnilingus and different moves, that will increase her chances of reaching the Big-O.  Not a problem, our sex play recently is focused on her pleasure.

Keep it fresh
Human beings get bored relatively quickly.  If we are going to have sex for 30-40 more years, we had better come up with ways to keep it interesting.  Sure, I've never had a bad orgasm, and my worst orgasm is still better than my best day at work.  But still.  We have to shift things.  One thing I really appreciate about Suzy is that she is a lot more open to things than she used to be.  She said to me the other day something along the lines of "sex is fun".  I think she used to have a negative attitude about sex.  She still doesn't like to talk about it (one reason she may be refraining from commenting here) but she is a lot more open than she used to be.

Stay Healthy
I am in pretty good shape but still have a belly.  I need to lose about 15 pounds.  I go to the gym pretty frequently, and I am about as strong as I've ever been.  I am really excited when Suzy "notices" and comments about my body.  The idea here is that all manner of good things occur when you are physically fit: better erections, included.

Share a Fantasy or two
No problemo here.  Part  of the benefit of this blog is that I can lay it out, she can absorb it or modify things, and then we can act, or not, on my perverted mind.  Suzy has even shared a few with me.  She indicated that she was embarrassed to carry it out, but I am grateful she discussed it with me and we may or may not try to act it out.  We have talked a bit about role playing, which really turns me on.  Most of my fantasies revolve around her being in a position of authority over me (big surprise, *wink, wink*).  Think nurse/patient, Queen/slave, cop/wrongdoer, warden/prisoner, etc.

Ladies First, gentlemen
This is really what "She Comes First" is all about.  No problem here.  I can't remember the last time she didn't orgasm before me.  When I am not being denied orgasm, she generally climaxes first, and then we move to intercourse and I try to hold off so she comes a second time and then I come.  As a submissive, the thought of sex being for her pleasure is exciting.

The idea being you need to allow time with your spouse.  I can attest that it is pretty easy to get wrapped up in all the stuff life throws out at you.  "Society" is not thinking about how important it is to connect with your spouse and, yes, have mutually satisfying sexual relations with your partner.  Society seems to want to break us down, by overworking us, or glamorizing other "things".  Remaining married is a bit of an upstream swim.... the odds are stacked against us.  So to do otherwise requires some discipline and thoughtfulness.

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I've been "off the grid" for a while, for a variety of reasons.  Hope 2011 leads to much happiness!