When the "moment of truth" was near, I lit a candle (I've always liked candles), locked the door, stripped naked and got under the bed while she was doing her bed routine in the bathroom. She came out in her flannel PJs and basically wanted to just cuddle and go to bed. She blew out the candle, unlocked the door, and slipped into bed. I tried to kiss her and I rubbed my erection on her (which she likes, except for when I have pre-cum). I was OK with her denying me orgasm, but I really wanted her to come. There are times when my desire for her to climax approaches an obsession - even more powerful than my desire for my own sexual release before our female dominant play started. She just wanted to go to bed and feel my frustration intensify. I tried to persuade her a few times but she did not want any sex play.
I really didn't handle this well.
While I am submissive, I really don't like to be shot down or disrespected. Sometimes she will put me down, and I really don't go for that (although I know there are a number of submissive men that do). I have a number of paradoxes to be sure, but this aspect is one area that I am not that open to. In retrospect, I felt like she was putting me down and not really acknowledging me (and the sexual frustration that I was going through). I did not react well, and we had a bit of a fight. Which could have just ended the matters, with me being frustrated sexually and that's that.
But I screwed up. We ended up talking and having a rather nasty fight. There are some relationship stuff that haven't been worked out and that just boiled to the surface when things escalated.
I really am sorry for my reaction.
|Trying to humbly apologize for my transgression|
As it stands, we are going out on a date night tonight. I have no expectations about anything sexual happening. I really just hope that we have fun. I don't really even want to talk about our "issues". We are in a very very rare circumstance where the kids have sleepovers and we will actually be alone tonight. Had my screw up not occurred, I would pretty much guarantee that some wild kinky stuff would happen. We have a number of sex toys what we haven't tried yet. The one good thing is that we are going to have a dinner AND a movie, and Suzy seemed to be ok with stopping in at the adult bookstore (it is kind of on the way back home, although I am not sure when it might close). Perhaps she will find a paddle to whip my ass?
|The power exchange in the female lead marriage dynamic is very fun for me as a sub hub.|
So, any feedback on how to get back into the groove would be helpful!