I have settled on distinguishing between putting me down and dirty talking. Philosophically, I don't agree with putting someone down over something they don't have a lot of control over.
I'll try to go through a few examples of what I mean.
Like many men, I'm pretty sensitive about my cock size. I've seen (flaccid) men naked in locker rooms ~ not that I'm trying to, it just happens sometimes. I'm a very discrete locker room changer, I line everything up and I do it really fast. My genitals are out there to see, but I make it snappy. Other men simply walk around naked. And yes, I've (inadvertently) seen some pretty big cocks this way. The most blatant example of this was when I took a surfing lesson. The instructor had a wet suit on, and his cock was running like halfway down his thigh for all to see. Let's just say I know there are men better endowed men than me. And frankly I want Suzy to play with those men.
Why? Perhaps its the masochistic part of me. When she has extramarital sex, I want it to be fun for her, and maybe a bigger cock would do something to her that I can't, reach places inside her vagina that I can't 'reach'. Or maybe a girthier cock could stimulate her clitoris better. I don't know but I want to find out.
Longtime readers should know that inventing new ways for Suzy to climax is a bit of an obsession of mine. Anyway, the idea that she gets 'stretched out' a little bit more than I can deliver is frankly a big part of why cuckolding appeals to me - that she can try something different and compare and contrast. I'm still very turned on by the fact that Suzy has experienced uncircumcised cocks. See? That's something I really can't control and I don't feel any less manly that she's played with something I simply can't provide her. I don't feel bad about that. It just is.
So calling my cock "small" or something like that is not something I would like. I don't think my cock is small, I think it's around average, but I guess Suzy would probably be a better judge of that. Anyway, I do NOT want to be teased around being "small". I'm insecure about this, and I don't need to be more so.
Sexy dirty talking
"Hey baby, I'm interested in this guy with a really big cock. I'm not even sure it will fit, kinda nervous as to whether I can accommodate him. I want to know how he feels in my tight married pussy. Are you on board with that?" Ummm yes!!! So yes, her wanting to explore/"be stretched" by someone bigger is erotic. Go figure. It's not putting me down for being less endowed.
Do you see the difference? Saying I'm "small" vs. he's big - or she wants to explore someone bigger - amounts to a stunning difference to me. one of the most erotic times we had was when Suzy went through a "Cliffs Notes" of the men she's had sex with, their sexual pros and cons. It was hot. I do want to know what my wife thinks of playing with bigger cocks. Honestly; without putting me down.
Aging has done a couple of things to my sexual abilities. One, I tend to lose my erection if Suzy stops stimulating my cock. Example is if she plays with my nipples or balls, I may lose my erection even though I'm very excited and enjoying what she's doing. Two, I *thought* I had a longer recovery time (hours or days). Note my recent post about vacation sex, which may challenge this notion. Nevertheless, we've had some cases where I climaxed and couldn't go for a second round. It freaked me out that I even talked to my doctor about it. Anyway, you could go two ways here:
"Hey old man, I think I need to get a younger stud so that he can keep up with me and fuck me multiple rounds. Not like you".
Sexy dirty talking
"Hey baby, I'll let you come as many times as you want to this weekend... think you can handle that? Think you can go for a second round today? Think you can keep up with my other lovers?" What man doesn't like rising up (hehe) for a challenge?
Although I was originally annoyed about this at first, some mild teasing about "not needing my balls anymore" (obviously while firmly grabbing them) or teasing me about my infertility is something I think I will enjoy.
"The Double Standard"
I'm very aroused by her rubbing in that we are experimenting in a "half open" relationship where she can have sex with others and I remain monogamous to her. Alternatively, that sex is for the wife's pleasure and that she comes so hard, too bad husband is denied that pleasure. Things like that. It arouses my submissive tendencies. I like her "trash talking" about how many sexual partners she has had compared to me, and that she's "bull hunting" for more. I enjoy this type of teasing; I'm not sure if she does.
Name calling and Pillow Talking
Inside the bedroom, I perfectly fine with her calling me "slave", "cuckold" or possibly other naughty names. I'm not actually a slave, but being her sexual slave (during sex) is exciting. I don't think I'd like her to call me names like that outside the bedroom. The last time we had sex, this came up: even though I feel like i "know" how she likes me to penetrate her, it is REALLY arousing to tell me during the act. I love it, I love her being demanding of me and I think it's just so hot when she tells me to speed up/go slower/go deeper/stop thrusting. It's so sexy when a woman knows what she wants!
I enjoyed it a lot when she was administering a ball slapping to me that she said things like, "oh come on take it like a man"; "I'm not even hitting them that hard". Things like that.
A good and bad thing about being male is that your sexual excitement (or lack thereof) is right out there when you are being intimate. There have been times when we were fantasizing and she has teased me about being rock hard, and I enjoy that ("Oh, I guess you like that"; the ol', "do you have a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?" line works well here).
Or I also enjoy her complaining about me being soft when I should be hard, as long as the above rules are kept in mind. I'm actually getting older, you know.
* * * * *I hope this clear things up ~ at least a little. Questions? Please ask ;-)
This is not intended to be a comprehensive list, just what I thought most needed clarification. I'm sure other things will come along. Tease away, Suzy!! Love you!!